ADD?? - Wolverine maybe?

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-20-2005
ADD?? - Wolverine maybe?
12
Thu, 06-08-2006 - 11:08am

DD (18) has ADD and is taking Strattera (highest dose available). So far this has been a huge help. I also worked with her to adjust her study methods. These changes made a wonderful difference for DD during the last 2 years of high school. She has set some pretty high goals for herself. She plans to finish college in 3 years. The problem is that she is taking college classes and is really struggling. She has enrolled in 4 classes during the summer - 2 each term. She also has set a goal of a 3.75 gpa for this summer. She thought that since this was "just" community college it would be a piece of cake. She's realizing that college is alot of hard work. Between attending classes and studying, she's literally only taking breaks for meals and showers. Even on the weekends, she's studying all day Sat and Sun. She is going out on Fri and Sat nights for about 4 hours. The stress is starting to get to her. She's snapping at DH and I and even her b/f. Yesterday was my birthday and we went to eat with my in-laws. She didn't like what her food (and it wasn't good) but despite my MIL's offer to get her something else and everyone at the table's offer to share with her, she sulled up and pouted. DH really came down pretty hard on her when we got home. I ended up shouting at them both (just to be heard over their shouting) to hush and drop it. Happy birthday to me!!

This is not like her. I'm going out of my way to give her study time with no distractions. In the afternoon, when she's studying, I pretty much try to stay in my room or schedule any errands so that she can be distraction free. She and I talked a little later on last night and she talked about how frustrating it is that she has to read everything 3 times and most students only have to read it once. This is physically and mentally wearing her out. I told her we would think about it and see if we can come up with something to help her.

Now, my questions to you guys are:

Has she psyched herself out? Is she just having a serious case of freshmen nerves?

Do I suggest that she drop one of her courses scheduled for July term? I don't want her to feel like I'm suggesting she isn't capable of doing this. But I also want her to have a life. I want her to know that it is a wise person that realizes their limitations and adjusts accordingly.

Do I try to encourage her to change her goals? Graduate in 4 or 5 years instead of 3. She will take this as a failure. I also think maybe it's too early in her college life to suggest this. She's just 2 weeks into college and maybe some adjustment time is in order before we go this route. BTW, this is her goal, not mine but she did get the idea from her dad and I b/c we both graduated in 3 years. We both worked during those 3 years and I was married with a baby at home part of thime. I think she sees that as a challenge. I also think she wants to do this so that she and b/f can start grad school together.

Any suggestions of additional study methods that I've missed? She makes notes cards and highlites as she is reading. This forces her to pay closer attention to the material plus the notes cards are easier to review from. The problem is that writing the note cards really does take a lot of extra time (plus my living room is full of note cards). I've also tried to set up a separate study area for but she prefers the living room with the TV off. I can't do laundry, cook dinner or even walk outside w/o disturbing her. I am becoming a hermit confined to my room. My house is a major wreck.

I've suggested that she use the on-line resources that the publisher of the text has made available (quizzes, outlines, etc.) but she refuses. She has her set study habits (note cards, highliting, etc) and she doesn't want to take time to adjust her processes. Plus if she's on the net, the temptation to chat with her friends is too great.

Any help would be appreciated.

Pages

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-20-2005
Thu, 06-08-2006 - 11:12pm

Thank you all for your input. I know I need to discourage her from the 3 year thing but I don't want her think I think she's not capable of doing it. Her sister has a very IQ and never had problems with school at all and youngest DD seems to think we expect the same from her. She is probably in the same IQ range as her sister but we do realize that they are two different people with different personalities, goals, and interests. She tends to put alot of pressure on herself to meet or exceed her sister. Combine that with her dad and I finishing in 3 years, she really wants to do this. This is probably something that she will have to figure out for herself, although, I do plan to remind her that her sister took the full 4 years to finish and then took off a year before starting grad school b/c she was burned out. I also plan to point out to her that it took me 3 years to finish what should have been a 2 years MBA program. Maybe that will help ease the pressure a little.

Anyway thanks again for all your input. I deal with ADD students in the classroom all the time at the same community college but it is so different when it's your child wearing herself out and biting off your head and living with you. Thanks again!

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-07-2005
Thu, 06-08-2006 - 11:35pm

<<>>

I haven't read all the posts, so if this has been covered that's ok, cause toby's daughter needs to really really know that summer courses suck!

No exaggeration. They are the toughest courses she can take. If she fails anything during the summer, she needs not take it to heart. I had to drop some summer courses and there's no shame in it.

Good luck Tobylady!!

zz

Pages