Adult men looking at teen girls

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-01-2007
Adult men looking at teen girls
23
Mon, 01-01-2007 - 9:28am

I was out with my 15 yr old niece the other day and I was a little disturbed by what I saw. Shes growing into an attractive young lady. A lot of teenage boys were checking her out. I became kind of protective of her but I guess its natural.

However what really disturbed me was when I saw a few grown men check her out. I was literally taken aback. I've had similar experiences with her at the beach.

For gods sake, what are adult men doing looking at teen girls?

Has anyone else ever experienced this? Have adult men in this day and age really become so perverted?

Maybe I'm being really prude or something, but theres just something about people in their (20's ehh ok, I guess they could get a break)30's and 40's or hell even older, checking out a 15 yr old girl.




Edited 1/1/2007 9:30 am ET by dgn44

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-05-2006
Mon, 01-01-2007 - 5:06pm
It could just be that these older men find your daughter nice to look at because shes attractive. I like looking at attractive people no matter what the age. If a girl or guy has a nice shape I look and usually say to myself that that person has very nice features or looks very nice in jeans or is nice and slim or a little girl may have beautiful hair, that man dresses very nice, etc. and I am not thinking anything sexual at all. Its just that attractiveness attracts the eye. Of course there are some perverts around but there are all kinds of people out there.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-01-2006
Mon, 01-01-2007 - 6:48pm
It happens quite often. I'm a 16 year old girl, and it is really ridiculous how often older guys will hit on me or my friends. I'm not even a particularly attractive girl, and I dress modestly and casually, don't look older than 16, and yet it still happens. Over the summer I would walk to work pretty often, and I would get whistled at and at stoplights sometimes guys would say inappropriate things. I don't get gas alone at night anymore because I either get stared it or even approached, and all of these guys are at least 30. It is pretty disturbing.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-09-2006
Mon, 01-01-2007 - 8:50pm

Its quite normal, although I think that the_slug is being mistreated. You don't have to make it obvious. theres a difference between looking and touching. As long as they don't try to get a date or do something inappropriate I think its ok.

Btw I'm in my late 30's and I notice attractive or cute teenage boys at the beach, and I check them out. Of course I won't date them, but I think looking and appreciating is quite normal.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-29-2006
Mon, 01-01-2007 - 8:50pm

Not surprising to me. Men check out my daughters all the time. I could say...maybe they don't know she's 15?

It is sick and wrong, but there is nothing we can do about it...it happens.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-01-2007
Mon, 01-01-2007 - 8:56pm

Its just soo disturbing you know. Maybe I'm the exception but I think its disgusting. For those of you who have experienced this, do your daughter wear provocative clothing? I know teen girls nowadays wear clothes that are quite revealing.

I'm not trying to judge anyone, just wondering.

And honestly I myself have never checked out a teen boy. They seem like kids to me.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-14-2000
Mon, 01-01-2007 - 10:12pm

I only have boys - they are 16 and 19.

Pam
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-13-2004
Tue, 01-02-2007 - 1:05am

This post is disturbing to me.
I don’t know if it’s just semantics, but this type of thinking makes men really confused in an increasingly confusing culture.

What do you mean by "checking out" a beautiful teenager?

Occasionally I will do a double take when noticing a particularly attractive young lady. I do not "leer". I do not "ogle". But I admit to noticing a perfectly developed young body and their paltry 10% body fat and physical attributes. Be assured there is no staring or drooling involved, and I am not imagining having sex with this person. Goodness me... I hope this doesn’t make me "perverted" and "sick"..

When I’m out with my DD, heads frequently turn. For my own sanity, I must assume some semblance of goodness in humanity that they are thinking the same. Otherwise I just may go crazy.

What the slug describes is completely different, and I am truly sorry you have to go through that Corie.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-19-2003
Tue, 01-02-2007 - 6:36am

I agree daddioe -- admiring a pretty girl or handsome young man is not "ogling" or "leering". I'd say the vast majority of people who see a pretty girl or woman walking through a mall or on a beach think "wow, what a pretty girl" and end it at that. When there is a good looking young man on a beach somewhere and an older woman says "wow, what a great looking kid" it doesn't mean she wants to sleep with him.

Has our society become so hung up that we can't even admire a good looking person without it immediately being considered something sexualized and perverted? Should we all make our women wear burkas now?!

If the first thing you think about when someone looks appreciatively at a young woman is "he wants to sleep with her" maybe you should examine your own preconceived notions vs theirs. Sure there are are some perverts in the world but most of us are just appreciating beauty when we see it.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-06-2006
Tue, 01-02-2007 - 6:48pm

That's kind of the same line I was thinking of ...

The human male has admired the female form for all eternity. However, prior generations were probably a bit more subtle in their observation and appreciation of such than in todays' world.

Women's clothing trends today leave little mystery to ponder over and even less to the imagination, so yeah, men look. My DD dresses quite modestly and she is usually oblivious to men looking at her or their heads turning to check out her derriere. When she was 12-13 and in puberty 'developing' stages, I was far more creeped out about it than I am now.

I will admit that I there are certain 'types' of men that I am inclined to notice. But, what I notice is far more about stature, carriage, eyes or hands than it is about him being any particular age.




Edited 1/2/2007 6:49 pm ET by hydrangea_blue

 

 

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-14-2006
Tue, 01-02-2007 - 7:26pm

When I went shopping with my dd yesterday, I weas disturbed by the men who were checking her out. She wears baggy clothes and was dressed very modestly. The appearance of these men who looked her up and down was scummy. The behavior matched their appearance. I do feel that it is like a visual rape for men to eye girls like that. I dislike being eyed by men in grocery stores and at Starbucks, too. Generally, better educated men don't do this. Working class men are more apt to be the ones that offend me.

I do not check out teen boys or men. I might briefly contemplate the overall attractiveness of a man after talking with him at length, but I do not eye him up and down.

I worked with some women in a college setting one summer. There, one of the women was always eyeing the kids up and down and making comments about their figures. Gee whiz! Our culture is so over-sexed. We shouldn't need burkas; people should know better than to eye other people up and down. People should be able to go about their business without other people checking them out. Prostitutes and slaves at an auction are evaluated with meat market eyes; people out shopping deserve more respect.

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