advice on daughter and boyfriend

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-28-2005
advice on daughter and boyfriend
11
Wed, 12-28-2005 - 7:56pm
My seventeen year old daughter is a senior in high school dating a 19 year old college freshman. This guy is a very nice young man. The problem is he is unmotivated and lazy.
One example my daughter had to carry two heavy boxes across the school gym and he just sat and watched and would not offet to help. He is also addicted to playstation. He misses classes to stay home and play and is condtantly late for work because of playing. He is also late for every time they are supposed to do something together. He is currently on academic probation because is is always playing and not studying. My daughter is an "a" student. Very talented and motivated to acheive. They have discussed a future together but I am concerned about his non motivational ways. My daughter is convinved that she can change him. He says he has adhd and is taking medicine for this. That is another thing I am concerned about. Any advice I can give my daughter or do I just keep my mouth shut and say nothing. I ma new to this so any advice I would appreciate. Thanks

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Avatar for jupiterfit
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-12-2003
Wed, 01-04-2006 - 7:02am
Oh it is so hard to see our kids struggle, isn't it? But that is how they have to learn I guess. My daughter has a very similar situation with her boyfriend. She is 16 and he is 18 and out of high school. He is attending a technical college for carpentry. For awhile he looked like he was going to stay unmotivated, but I have seen a change in the last two months (they've been dating 8 months). He has become more responsible and although he has adhd, he seems to be managing it well and taking the medication. They kid around about getting married. I have been trying to give support to my daughter and tell her that she really needs to pursue college or at least a 2-year degree. But in the end, they all have to choose their own path. The thing I don't like is that she has gotten pretty lazy since she has been going out with him and I can't figure out if it's just her going through a typical teen phase or if she is going to continue this way as long as she stays with him. Now that he is more motivated, she seems to be also. Keeping my fingers crossed and saying my prayers.
Debbie

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