Advice? DS16 Admits to Occasional Marij. and Drinking

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-29-2005
Advice? DS16 Admits to Occasional Marij. and Drinking
18
Thu, 09-01-2011 - 5:34am

May I please have your advice? My DS16 is a pretty good kid -- fairly respectful, good grades in school, gives us no major problems, just the typical mouth.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-29-2005
Thanks for all your advice! It has really helped me sort through the situation. I took most to heart the poster that said (something like) it's better to take strong action than to have an honest druggie... that made lots of sense to me. All, thank you!
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-08-2009

$200 DUI?????? Are you serious????????

Down here in the banana Republic of Texas, first time DUI fines, bail,

Avatar for sabrtooth
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-03-1999
<<>> I totally agree w/this.

And I ran this by Dh, now that he's home, and his comment was: "What do you think the nice neighborhood COP would say, if ANYONE strolled up to him and said "...every 3 months or so (I) will smoke some marijuana, ...and (I) truly believe (I) will keep it at this pace..."??? Do you think he would say, "I'm very happy you are being so honest, thanks for sharing, but I am not pleased about these activities at all"??? He said the cop probably wouldn't ARREST the person, but her certainly would call the guys in the white jackets.

Confession may be good for the soul, but unless there is a problem, NOBODY spontaneously confesses unless they believe: A) They will be absolved with little pain on their part, or B) They think nobody will care.
Avatar for sabrtooth
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-03-1999

Honestly??

Avatar for mahopac
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-24-1997

I was thinking some of the same things you and Fullmom said. . . that if he's saying he's done this, he's probably done more. . . and if he's saying it, there may be a reason for it.

Staying calm *is* the first step, and getting on the same page with your spouse is the second, or maybe step 1A.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-16-1999

Here in WI, we have a two-tiered system, with one set of fines and penalties (including loss of driver's license until age 18) for people found to have drank alcohol who are under age 18, and then another set for people 18-20 y/o that is less harsh.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999

MA also has a mandatory loss of license for OUI for a minor, but what I thought was interesting is that for minor in possession, they also lose their license for 90 days, even if they didn't have the alcohol in the car.

Avatar for sabrtooth
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-03-1999

$200???

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-16-1999

After having gotten my kids through the teen years and all but one of them over the age of 21 (she turned 20 early in July), I can say I still fall on the "it's not the end of the world, I do NOT like it, but I'm not going to go crazy over this either."

Avatar for sabrtooth
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-03-1999

Teens will experiment, but USUALLY they are so afraid that if their parents find out, they would KILL THEM FOR DOING IT, that the information would NEVER, spontaneously, come out of their mouths.

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