Advice on getting teen up
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| Tue, 10-24-2006 - 10:29am |
Who has ever had a problem with getting their teenager to get their lazy butt outta bed and off to school? What worked?
I'm about to pull my hair out with my daughter, 16. Unfortunately our school board, in their infinite wisdom, has the high school day starting at 7:35. Extremely hard on most teens, especially my kid. This has been an ongoing issue and I'm exhausted with it. She sleeps through her alarm every day! I have to go call her at least 3 times, and she has a real rude attitude also. We end up starting the day yelling at each other. I hate that! She has gotten into a peer group of kids I think are "slackers" and some of their parents let them get away with not going to school and staying out too late, imho.
This was really bad last year when she was dividing her time between my house and her Dad's. He was just letting her get unexcused absences, she nearly failed and then he threw her out over this. She's wanting to drive soon, so I can use that as a responsibility "carrot".
We had another fight this am, she was late for school, I was late for work. It's gotta stop. I've told her she's grounded until she can get her own self up on time for 5 school days in a row. I told her the length of grounding is totally up to her--it can be 5 days or until age 18! I think I'm also gonna take the TV outta her room, many a morning I go in there and it's still on. She may be staying up too late watching TV. I'm also gonna make her give up her cell phone to me at 9pm, so her friends can't keep her up. I'm also gonna to buy the loudest wind up alarm clock I can find and set it outside her bedroom door.
She has turned into a very sullen, willful teenager and I'm fed up! She doesn't have alot of school work, or doesn't do it, doesn't have a job, doesn't do any extracurricular stuff, so it's not activities causing the problem. Her grades are A's and B's with an occasional C. She has always loved to sleep late, but with school starting so early she's got to make some changes.
What else can ya'll suggest?
Momsacupcake craves peace

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I can't believe they are making the kids start so early! Thats just crazy. I know in some school divisions they are experimenting with a later start time, like at 9:30, and are finding great success with it.
I was down that road with DS who is now 18 and out of school. He ended up quitting with 6 months to go in Grade 12 but it got to the point where he wouldnt get up - didnt matter how much yelling or taking away of possessions I did. However, I think you are definitely on the right track with taking away TV and cellphone. She also might be having depression issues. I didnt see that in my son but should have - I think that was a major part of his problems.
Good luck!
No real help but I can commiserate; ds14's school starts at 7:40 (goes til 2:20; works out great for me as I can drop him off by 7:15 or so and get to work early; we start at 8). So far, he's not that bad to get up, but there have been days...can't choose shirt, isn't pleased with me because he wants to wear shorts when it's 30 outside, didn't get everything packed...gets a bit tense.
Sue
It's so crazy to me that they make them start so early when all the expert evidence is that kids that age are not mentally alert early. We have school bus service, but that's unrealistic, since it stops by our house at 6:40 am.
Yikes - 6:40 is way too early, and to be on a bus that long - ugh. Our bus comes around 7:05; school is only 10 minutes away, so it's just as easy for me to drop him off.
To be honest, as a morning person, 7:40 is great by me. DS hasn't really complained about it either; he's up at 6:30 on weekends when he has nothing going. I always took 'zero period' at 7:30 in HS when I had the opportunity. Guess we're anomalies!
I know we could start stuff like putting clothes out the night before, packing up the night before, etc., but as those things really aren't a major bother, I'll leave that up to him. Fortunately he WANTS to get in around 7:15 so he has 20 minutes or so to socialize with buddies before class starts!
Sue
I am sympathetic because we have 2 teens. I think it's ridiculous that the bus comes so early--6:50 am for the high school because they use the same bus to make 3 trips, so the elem. schools are the latest. My son didn't go to school last year until 9:00! Now he's in the middle school and has to get the bus at 7:50, which is more reasonable. I am not a morning person and I know I couldn't concentrate on work at 7:30 a.m. It's hard enough for me to get to work at 9;00.
I used to nag my DD a lot to get to bed early. Finally I told her that she could stay up unless she started missing the bus. In 9th grade, she went to a school that was only 2 miles from our house, which is the school that my son now goes to for middle school. She was always begging me for a ride if it was raining, too cold, she had to carry something, etc. It wasn't too bad cause I could get there & back in 15 min. However, in 10th grade, they expanded the high school which is now on the opposite side of town. With all the traffic going there in the a.m., the round trip would take 45 min and I really didn't have time for that. Now I am really happy that she has a car because it's not that she didn't get up, it would just be missing the bus by 5 min. Even now, it's always at the last minute, even when she can go in an hour later because she has 1st period study and she's a senior. I think some people are just naturally late for everything (her father) and it's really harder than others to get some people up in the am
Even my son, who is getting up at 7:00, which isn't that bad, has always been a night person. I would make him go to bed at 9:00 and when I went to bed at 11:00, he would still be awake. I would ask him if he was waiting up for me and he would say he just couldn't fall asleep. Now he has an alarm clock that beeps, which he wanted instead of the radio. He has to get out of bed to shut it off, cause the beeps keep getting louder, and then he will get right back into bed. I put the light on and basically stand there until he gets up.
Boy, your story DOES sound familiar. And I HATE the yelling. Just hate it, it ruins my mood. I've got to stop letting her draw me into the yelling.
I phoned the asst. principal at school and discovered that today's tardy puts her over their tolerance limit and she's got detention now-2 hours. Can be done either at 7am for 4 days or after school or on Sat. am. That should be a good deterrent, I hope. This AP is kind of a jerk, but at least she knows I'm trying at home.
DD's a person who just can't function without enough sleep.
I could have written this post last week! I have since come up with a solution that seems to be working.
We are in a similar situation where school starts very early. The bus comes at 6:40, but this year, DD is a senior and has a car so she is driving herself to school. Like you, I set my alarm because she sleeps through the 2 alarm clocks in her room. The difference is, I call her on her cell phone several times until I know she is up (how nice for me to provide this service!! LOL!) Sometimes when I call her she is angry and yells at me that she's already up - but doesn't have the courtesy to tell me! I don't actually need to get up until 6:15, but she likes to get up at 6:00 or earlier and leaves the house at 6:30.
Here's what I did. I told her to set her alarm and get up on her own. I have stopped making wake up calls. When I get up at 6:15am, I will happily check to see if she is up. If she's not, it's HER problem if she doesn't have enough time to do the things she likes to get ready for school. For the past few days, she's been up.
I think her vanity (the need to dress nicely and fix her hair and makeup) is what is making this work.
Good luck to you!!
Have you had her tested for sleep disorders? I agree on taking the TV and cell out of the room if you think it may be effecting her sleep and ability on getting up.
I am not a morning person I turn my alarm off, roll over and go back to sleep even if I went to bed at 9pm! I found that a music alarm clock helps me a great deal instead of the annoying BEEP BEEP BEEP!!! I end up leaving the music on and getting up on time. I would try that! Or try setting two alarms on different clocks for 5 minuets apart.
Our high school starts at 7:20 and ends at 2:30.
All due to the almighty sports.
It just amazes me that what is preferential academically is overruled by what is convenient to give sports teams more than adequate practice time.
I don't have much to offer except perhaps limiting restrictions to the things affecting the behavior. e.g. late night telephoning and the TV in bedroom. Not sure if restricting driving privileges would be a good idea.
I am not a morning person. I hate mornings. The only thing good about mornings is the smell of coffee. I do most of my work in the late evenings when I can think.
So I can commiserate with your DD but understand your need for a smoother AM.
Perhaps a reward system may be more effective than grounding. Just a thought...
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