Advice on getting teen up

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-02-2004
Advice on getting teen up
17
Tue, 10-24-2006 - 10:29am

Who has ever had a problem with getting their teenager to get their lazy butt outta bed and off to school? What worked?

I'm about to pull my hair out with my daughter, 16. Unfortunately our school board, in their infinite wisdom, has the high school day starting at 7:35. Extremely hard on most teens, especially my kid. This has been an ongoing issue and I'm exhausted with it. She sleeps through her alarm every day! I have to go call her at least 3 times, and she has a real rude attitude also. We end up starting the day yelling at each other. I hate that! She has gotten into a peer group of kids I think are "slackers" and some of their parents let them get away with not going to school and staying out too late, imho.

This was really bad last year when she was dividing her time between my house and her Dad's. He was just letting her get unexcused absences, she nearly failed and then he threw her out over this. She's wanting to drive soon, so I can use that as a responsibility "carrot".

We had another fight this am, she was late for school, I was late for work. It's gotta stop. I've told her she's grounded until she can get her own self up on time for 5 school days in a row. I told her the length of grounding is totally up to her--it can be 5 days or until age 18! I think I'm also gonna take the TV outta her room, many a morning I go in there and it's still on. She may be staying up too late watching TV. I'm also gonna make her give up her cell phone to me at 9pm, so her friends can't keep her up. I'm also gonna to buy the loudest wind up alarm clock I can find and set it outside her bedroom door.

She has turned into a very sullen, willful teenager and I'm fed up! She doesn't have alot of school work, or doesn't do it, doesn't have a job, doesn't do any extracurricular stuff, so it's not activities causing the problem. Her grades are A's and B's with an occasional C. She has always loved to sleep late, but with school starting so early she's got to make some changes.

What else can ya'll suggest?

Momsacupcake craves peace

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-24-2006
Wed, 10-25-2006 - 8:02am
My dd(15) is not a morning person either. This year we compromised on a bedtime of 10:30 pm. I thought it was too late but only agreed because my dd promised me she would get herself up every morning. Last year we had many ugly mornings and I didn't want this year to be more of the same. So far she's done very well. She also will sleep through a traditional alarm but her cell phone alarm gets her right up out of bed. LOL! Whatever it takes I guess.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-02-2004
Wed, 10-25-2006 - 11:28am

I really wish our school board would do what is best for our children's learning potential also instead of bowing to the almighty sports gods, plus it's a money issue too. They need to run the same buses to all three schools each day. That means staggered start times also. Every year a parent group protests, but nothing changes.

What kind of a reward do you think might work? I personally think this is about doing what she is already responsible for...punctuality for school.

I personally leap out of bed in the mornings and am completely mentally worthless after about 9pm. We're all different. At least as a senior she can qualify for late arrival if she's got all her credits accomplished.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-21-2006
Thu, 10-26-2006 - 7:27am
We have all had this issue. My daughter is not a morning person at all. The bus arrived at 6:30 down at the end of the road. The routine went something like this...Enter her room, turn on light, gently shake her. Repeat two more times. Tired of climbing stairs, so stand at bottom of stairs and yell. Finally, climb stairs again, enter room and just before entering hear "I'm up!!!!" Watch clock and occasionally yell "hurry up!!". Realize the bus comes in five minutes, she'll never make it, panic. Start car, honk horn, on third honk, she comes out. Drive like mad woman in pajamas to end of road sometimes honking horn to alert bus driver of imminent arrival. This was not every day but enough to make me crazy. She has been out of school for a few years now and has since informed me that she always knew I'd get her there on time. She also knew that I would make the final ascent up the stairs which she used as the final alarm. Brat! I know I am not giving you any constructive advice at all but thought you might want to know that you are not alone. All these things will pass. By the way, my daughter is still not a morning person. Not trusting herself, she works 2nd shift.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 10-26-2006 - 9:19am

I agree that it is because they are not morning people-for that reason, I dont think making them go to bed earlier helps in the least-all they do is lay there awake and think of new ways to torment us ;)

My oldest used 2 or more alarms and set them in a place where he HAD to get up and out of bed to stop them. The up and moving seems to have helped

#2 was/is social and uses his cell phone-DH drove us crazy asking 'do you have an alarm clock?" at least 10 times leaving for college. "No, dad, I've used my cell since I had it and not been late for school or work yet"

#3 uses the same strategy as #1

I honestly and truly started my kids with alarms before kindergarten and have never taken on the responsibility for waking them except in motel rooms on vacation. I watched my mom go through you know what with my older brother-I suspect that it why I was so proactive on this!

Let the consequences fall where they may and stay out of it! This needs to be HER problem.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-02-2004
Thu, 10-26-2006 - 2:56pm

I do agree they need to be responsible for their own punctuality, or face the consequences. Problem is it becomes MY problem when her being late makes my other child late for school and me late for work.

Do I let her face an unexcused absence if she won't get moving on time?

I was in court once protesting a wrong traffic ticket (got off, btw) when I saw a Dad handcuffed and carted to the pokey because his kid was truant.

Schools are serious about attendance.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 10-26-2006 - 3:35pm

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I would definitely let that happen but understand that if it didnt serve as a wake up call, you might have to rethink the idea before heading off to the county jail!

Our school is pretty lax on attendance, Im afraid. My son got up on time and was there on time-the rest of the day was up for grabs as he cut A LOT his senior year, and I couldnt get the school to help me for anything

Maybe the first hour attendance count is what determines funding?????

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-02-2004
Thu, 10-26-2006 - 3:58pm
Here, the state attendance depends on the numbers of bodies there at 10:15. The clinics won't call parents to pick up until after that time.

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