Advice - Mom with only a preteener?

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-18-2006
Advice - Mom with only a preteener?
4
Wed, 03-14-2007 - 6:26pm

What advice - basically societywise - but I'll take otherwise! - for a Mom who's oldest is only a 11.5 yo / 5th grader yet?????

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-20-2005
Wed, 03-14-2007 - 7:01pm

Be her mom, not her friend.

Don't let her push your buttons - when she starts to yell or scream, walk away and say "we'll finish this when you can calm down."

Don't believe for a minute that so and so's mom is letting them do it or that everyone else can. I promise there's almost always someone more strict that you are.

Enjoy her while you can!

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-14-2006
Wed, 03-14-2007 - 7:08pm

I agree with what tobylady said.

Also, begin now to teach the things he or she'll need in a few years - staying at home alone, going to the mall, etc. These things are learned in small steps, and success at them leads to gradually more freedom. The biggest mistake I see is parents saying "she's old enough now ..." but not really teaching kids how to take on that responsibility.

Sue

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-17-2005
Thu, 03-15-2007 - 2:23pm

Especially if you have a girl, begin to talk to her about

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-29-2004
Thu, 03-15-2007 - 2:35pm

Talk to your child but most importantly LISTEN. Let the child talk and remember what it was to be that age. But also remember that you are the parent. Your job is not to be the child's best friend but his/her parent.

Use the common sense and don't be swayed by the argument that "everyone else" is doing it.

Also, don't sweat the small stuff. So what if the bed isn't made in the morning. There are worse things than a messy room.