Advice need about teen relationship!
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Advice need about teen relationship!
| Fri, 06-08-2007 - 11:18am |
Hello everyone!
This is my first time on this board and I'm here to hopefully get some advice! I'm usually on the November expectant board so as you can guess my mind should be on other things right now but instead all I am consumed with is the annoying relationship with between my stepson and his girlfriend! (He lives with us full time and has for 8 years so it is not a typical stepmom/stepson relationship since I've basically raised him.) Anyway, he is 15 and has had this girlfriend for about 3 months. The first two months they basically only saw each other in school and just talked on the phone every night. Now that summer is here he wants to see her EVERYDAY. He is on a basketball team and football team but for some reason has NO guy friends to "play" with or hang out with. His every waking minute is consumed by this girl. He is on the phone (cooing how much he loves her) or texting her ALL DAY and he wants us to drive him to her house or pick him up from her house or drive her home or pick her up or take them here or take them there - again EVERYDAY! She does not live close either so I've been going through gas (which we all know is expensive) like crazy driving them around. Plus, he doesn't hang out with anyone but her! Her parents seem very encouraging towards this relationship - always inviting him to stay for dinner or go out to dinner with them etc. She comes over here frequently and has eaten over here before and we've taken her out and that is nice a COUPLE OF DAYS A WEEK BUT NOT EVERYDAY! She is a nice girl and we keep telling him how much we do like her and are so glad that he has met someone so nice that he gets along with so well. We have just been trying to encourage him to still hang out with her but also to pursue other interests - like getting a job and making money, hanging out with guy friends etc. I'm wondering why her parents - with her being a girl - are not more concerned that she is SO serious about a boy at this age. Isn't 15 kind of young to be all "I love you so much" and consumed with each other??? Why does she not see any of her girlfriends? Are we wrong to think that he is too young to be so consumed by this relationship? How can we best encourage him to enjoy his time with her but pursue other interests/friends also. It's just getting so frustrating and we don't want him to think we are against this relationship - we are just against the seriousness and intensity of it at this age.
Advice please???
This is my first time on this board and I'm here to hopefully get some advice! I'm usually on the November expectant board so as you can guess my mind should be on other things right now but instead all I am consumed with is the annoying relationship with between my stepson and his girlfriend! (He lives with us full time and has for 8 years so it is not a typical stepmom/stepson relationship since I've basically raised him.) Anyway, he is 15 and has had this girlfriend for about 3 months. The first two months they basically only saw each other in school and just talked on the phone every night. Now that summer is here he wants to see her EVERYDAY. He is on a basketball team and football team but for some reason has NO guy friends to "play" with or hang out with. His every waking minute is consumed by this girl. He is on the phone (cooing how much he loves her) or texting her ALL DAY and he wants us to drive him to her house or pick him up from her house or drive her home or pick her up or take them here or take them there - again EVERYDAY! She does not live close either so I've been going through gas (which we all know is expensive) like crazy driving them around. Plus, he doesn't hang out with anyone but her! Her parents seem very encouraging towards this relationship - always inviting him to stay for dinner or go out to dinner with them etc. She comes over here frequently and has eaten over here before and we've taken her out and that is nice a COUPLE OF DAYS A WEEK BUT NOT EVERYDAY! She is a nice girl and we keep telling him how much we do like her and are so glad that he has met someone so nice that he gets along with so well. We have just been trying to encourage him to still hang out with her but also to pursue other interests - like getting a job and making money, hanging out with guy friends etc. I'm wondering why her parents - with her being a girl - are not more concerned that she is SO serious about a boy at this age. Isn't 15 kind of young to be all "I love you so much" and consumed with each other??? Why does she not see any of her girlfriends? Are we wrong to think that he is too young to be so consumed by this relationship? How can we best encourage him to enjoy his time with her but pursue other interests/friends also. It's just getting so frustrating and we don't want him to think we are against this relationship - we are just against the seriousness and intensity of it at this age.
Advice please???

I agree w/ you although I'm not sure I have the answer since I haven't had this experience w/ my teens, who have never had BFs. I would be worried that if he invests all his time and energy in his GF, if they break up, which is probably inevitable, then he'll have no friends or activities to fall back on and will take it even harder. Of course, if you tell him that, he'll insist that they will never break up. So I guess that you just have to limit the time spent w/ her and not agree to drive him over there every day.
Are there other activities that you want him to get involved in this summer? I think 15 is a hard age because usually it's too young to get a real job, unless he does something like mowing lawns. Can you get him involved in some volunteer work, camp or something else to take up his time?