Advice, please

Avatar for suzyk2118
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-30-1997
Advice, please
14
Tue, 12-19-2006 - 11:05am

DS14 is a freshman, and has testing issues starting around the end of 4th grade. This year his biology teacher had him see the reading specialist and she had him see an eye specialist for possible convergence inefficiency. Looks like this may be the case, but I have no recourse at this stage.

In the mean time, the semester is almost over; finals start tomorrow. Grades are all over the place; a D+, two C+s, a B-, a B, a B+ and an A (PE) going into the finals. Tests count for way more this year than last; used to be simple averages, now they're weighted with up to 55% for quizzes/tests. He usually had a B with the rest As; this now has him pretty bummed and terribly nervous about finals, but he's determined to do his best.

The real reason I'm writing all this is geometry has me really crazy. DS is also visual-spatial so according to all those records, geometry should be a piece of cake. Math has never really been an issue but that's the D+ right now. This teacher has said she'd work with him since early Oct on oral quizzing/testing - she's never come through. DS went in on a scheduled date for this; she was out sick; ok, so she told him to come in another time, at which time she said she was too busy. This happened one more time. The counselor asked her to get with ds 1.5 weeks ago on this and she never did; ds approached her on it yesterday and she said maybe on a quiz in the future (next semester). I feel she's dropped the ball.

She also apparently picks on him in class (the counselor says other kids mention that she singles certain kids out) and he's one of those sensitive ones that shuts down when picked on. Now he tells me he's gaining rapport with her, but in the mean time she emails dh (who is now tutoring him in there, and says he knows ds 'gets it', which I've known all along) that ds puts down 'you didn't teach this' on one problem on the last test. I find out from ds that she indeed told the class during a lesson that she was not going to teach that. But the geometry teachers give the same test to all classes, so there it was on the test. Yesterday when she went over it, she told the class it was their responsibility to go to another teacher to get the info! (he said she also said she'd put it on the board and everyone said no she didn't...)

He's also turned into a bit of a Mr. Hyde in there, thankfully only on his last test - you know that blonde joke where she's shown a triangle with all sorts of info and it has an 'x' in one corner, and then asks 'find x' and she points an arrow at the 'x' in the corner and says there it is - he did that on the last test (and also solved for x). So he's not totally faultless in all this...

I so want him out of there - if nothing else, I want him in a class where the teacher knows what'll be on the test and teaches to it. What would you do?! (Dh thinks he should stick it out, but has 2nd thoughts after this last issue about going to see another teacher)

Sue, totally confused and not wanting to be 'that kind of parent', but...

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-06-2010
In reply to: suzyk2118
Tue, 12-19-2006 - 11:37am

Oh my! Switching him out of that class! I had a teacher like that in high school, a math teacher that never taught anything, never wanted to help and lied about what he taught. I almost failed the class and would have had to repeat the grade. I only passed because 3 weeks before the final my mother taught me the entire years worth of material. We sat for hours a day to learn it. I did well enough on the final to get a D in the class but most of the material I never really 100% learned and I hard time the next year.

I would try and get him into a another class or complain to the board about the teacher and see what can be done. Have you tired talking to the principal?

Avatar for suzyk2118
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-30-1997
In reply to: suzyk2118
Tue, 12-19-2006 - 11:42am
No; I've only done the counselor and reading specialist route so far. The thing is, she (counselor) says you have to have a B in geometry to move on to advanced algebra, otherwise you end up with the 'seniors who hate math' vs. those on the technical track (he wants to major in science of some sort), and there's no remedial summer school either (which I seriously doubt he needs if he had a teacher who would get to know him). The kind of stuff this one yells at him about is talking (which he doesn't; she has a hearing problem and he doesn't sit near a soul he knows or would want to talk to), looking around, looking down (when he went to get paper for notes), not taking notes (which he swears he does)...but he says that's changing and she now likes him and complains about other kids to him. I just see it as a volatile environment that's not conducive to him learning.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-06-2006
In reply to: suzyk2118
Tue, 12-19-2006 - 11:58am

I agree, get him out of the class! Have you documented all the instances of this teacher agreeing to help your DS then not doing so? The times your DS has gone to her for pre-scheduled assistance and been told she 'is too busy'? Or go see another teacher? Or some other lame excuse? That is absolutely a load of cr*p, imo.

I'd make an appointment with the counselor asap and ask for him to start fresh in a new class at the semester. They can do it ... they just won't want to because it's inconvenient. I'd make a lot of noise about this.

Hang in there,

 

 

 

Avatar for suzyk2118
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-30-1997
In reply to: suzyk2118
Tue, 12-19-2006 - 12:01pm
That's exactly what I WANT to do, force the counselor to move him. But ds doesn't want to move! (I'm not sure why - he still says she doesn't teach, and for sure skips what she doesn't choose to teach, yet they're responsible for it - I told him just because you're now befriending each other doesn't mean it's a healthy learning environment...) What's everyone's take on that?!
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-06-2010
In reply to: suzyk2118
Tue, 12-19-2006 - 3:24pm

I think he doesn't want to start trouble with the teacher or other kids be switching to another class. I would try and talk to the principle or maybe the head of the department. He may also have friends in the class he doesn't want to leave.

I would say try and move him. It should not be his decision. He is a minor and you are his caretaker, if you think it is a bad environment get him out! I wish I had gotten out of my bad teachers class. I ended up being one of the I hate math kids because my math skills were just not good because my math foundation was messed up. Now I am in college and it still affects me!

I would also your son down again and talk to him. Make sure he understands that one class CAN mess up his college chances and his math ability.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-14-2006
In reply to: suzyk2118
Tue, 12-19-2006 - 4:06pm
Sounds like DS needs some help with establishing better study habits for high school. In middle school, students can get by without as much study and preparation. In high school, there is more of an expectation that students will study a certain amount on a daily basis. Even when there is no homework, reading and studying should occur. It is natural for students to struggle when they first transition from middle school to high school. That is one reason why colleges don't weigh the Freshman year as heavily as the other three years. If I were you, I'd definitely get a tutor for the D+ subject, without a doubt. I'd offer to help DS study for the C grade classes. Kids sometimes don't know how to study. They don't know how to ferret out the details from their notes for memorization. A few sessions with good tutors and/or educated parents can help them understand how to drill concepts home.
Avatar for suzyk2118
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-30-1997
In reply to: suzyk2118
Tue, 12-19-2006 - 4:17pm
We are doing that - ds is working directly with teachers during their free period every other day (he was chicken to start; now he's going more freely) and with dh, and with me as needed to get back on track; late in the semester, but better late than never, and full steam ahead with this game plan for next semester (mostly same teachers).
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: suzyk2118
Tue, 12-19-2006 - 6:22pm

I would be reluctant to change teachers myself but I always aim for the choice with the least chance of conflict ;)

You have a system in place-he feels better-right now the issue is more a bad taste in your mouth about the past

I started helping ds3 with his Algebra 2 weeks ago. Midterms came home and his English and Algebra grade were headed down so we started doing homework together. It took wayyy more time than I epxected as I was essentially reateaching not only algebra but some of the basics about negative numbers, fractions, and order of operations(memory issues-well, him by LD; me by age)

You would have thought he would be upset-he was zipping through his homework in 15 minutes(all wrong) and we were taking 90-120 min!!!

But, it was like a load was taken off-I swear he had a spring in his step

So maybe M feels good that there is a plan in place and he wants to stay on track and maybe even show the teacher he can do it???

Just a thought

Avatar for suzyk2118
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-30-1997
In reply to: suzyk2118
Tue, 12-19-2006 - 6:32pm
I think you're right, but that's where I'm not sure of what to do - she seems so flaky and inconsistent - she tells him one thing and is now like pal'ing around with him, but she emails dh about his 'behavior', etc. the day before. So I'm not convinced it's a good environment for him, even though he feels he's made peace with her. I'm thrilled that he's determined - I admire him for it. But I'm still leery, based on track record, that she is the best fit.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-29-2005
In reply to: suzyk2118
Tue, 12-19-2006 - 7:00pm

Sue, pull him out of that class. When you get him in the new class, tell the teacher why you pulled him from last class. Avoid whining or fingerpointing (although it is tempting). Explain to new teacher that your DS was struggling with the last teacher and that she was unavailable for the extra help he needed. Leave it there; real simple. Let him/her know that your son is sensitive and has learning

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