advice please
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advice please
| Tue, 02-28-2006 - 9:27am |
Everyone who has read my posts knows about the things I am dealing with concerning my daughters b/f.
Now the things is she wants to go to the beach with him and his family this summer for a week. The family includes grandparents, aunts and uncles, cousins and cousins g/f, parents and sister. As of right now I say NO just because of the way he has treated her. And I am not sure of supervision. She is 17 though and will have graduated from school (she wll be 18 in Sept). I am so confused on what to do. She's a good kid. She is just kinda gullible when it comes to guys.
Should I let her go. Parents said she would need between 200-300 dollars for food and entertainment.

I would be very wary of this situation for several reasons: The first is as you say, you don't trust this boy or his treatment of dd. The second is that with all those people there will be lots of time for dd to be alone with this kid and I'm sure he will take full advantage of that time alone, if you know what I mean. And also, you need to clarify what or how much supervision there will be. The fact that they are almost 18 would tell me that they will likely be on thier own much of the time except for maybe planned events or meals. Which would be okay if you trusted the kid, but you don't.
As for the money - that seems in line, but I would give the parents a flat amount to help cover thier costs, after first finding out which meals dd will be responsible for out of pocket, etc. What we did when my now 18dd went away with another family was I paid the mom $100 up front for general groceries and then the mom kept a running tab of dd's other expenses and at the end of the trip, I paid her. And dd had a budget of spending money for any extras, like $150. So total it came to $315 which wasn't too bad considering they went to FL, and drove...3 vans (big family).
I'd have a conversation with the parents before making a decision - get a feel for what thier style is.
I'd say let her go because she will have graduated and is almost 18 but I sure wouldnt' fork out the money to her. She can earn it, she is old enough to have a job and that's what an adult does, earn money so they can do what they want.
When they each 17-18 and are out of school, it's time to let go a little more. If she is a responsible adult and you have raised her right, then trust that she can make her own decisions about this. It's not like there will not be chaparoning. Senior trips are not chaparoned usually.
Tell me the same thing when my DD turns 18 and graduates...it's easier giving advice than taking it...:)
LARK