Alcohol at home?

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-07-2011
Alcohol at home?
18
Tue, 03-29-2011 - 1:47pm

I hope you don't mind me asking this question here,

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Avatar for mahopac
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-24-1997
Tue, 03-29-2011 - 2:08pm

The argument "they're going to do it anyway" is a lame excuse for permissive parenting.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-27-1998
Tue, 03-29-2011 - 4:06pm

Yes! What she said.

Also, to the OP: it's not technically illegal to serve alcohol to your own child in your own home, but to give her a "stash" to drink seems foolish to me. My teens are allowed to have a sip of wine or beer if they request it (my dd seldom does; my ds hates the smell of any alcohol), but this is part of an ongoing dialogue about drinking legally and responsibly. They know it is illegal to drink in someone else's home, etc and that if they are in the presence of other teens drinking, they can be charged with constructive possession under our state law, even if they're not actually drinking.

Just assuming kids will drink isn't holding them to a high enough standard, and I think my kids deserve better than that.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-14-2000
Tue, 03-29-2011 - 4:44pm

There was a similar disucssion on this board recently. As far as the liability issue - in many if not most states it's perfectly legal for a parent to let their minor child drink in their home. Or for an of-age spouse to let their underage spouse drink in their home. Dh and I have a couple beers most nights and once the boys were about 18 we would let them ON OCCASION (maybe once or twice a month) have a beer if they were going to be in for the night and if there were no other kids over. But we wouldn't have dreamed of supplying them with their own stash! I don't really think that letting them drink on occasion at home is going to make it any more or any less appealing when they go off on their own - both the boys did the typical partying their first year away at school. But so did most kids that I know of that came from families who didn't allow any alcohol in the home.

Pam
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-21-2007
Tue, 03-29-2011 - 7:05pm

Personally I think it a really bad idea to actually supply/replinish a 16 year old with alcohol.Even that sentence as I was typing it sounded so wrong.Iam 23 and when I was 15/16/17 my parents would buy me alcohol,but only for new years, christmas and my birthday.Any other time if I wanted alcohol I had to ask for it and they would give me some of there own.

To me supplying a child that young with alcohol and actually replinishing it and allowing her to have her own stash is setting her up for a real possibility of addiction.I wouldn't be surprised if by the time she's 35 she's a full on alcoholic.I hope the parents actually keep tabs on the length of time between replenishing the alcohol.At 16 if they are replenishing 1 bottle more than once a month there will most likely be major problems as she gets older.Its horrifying

Hollie

Avatar for sabrtooth
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-03-1999
Tue, 03-29-2011 - 8:45pm

<<>>

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Tue, 03-29-2011 - 11:27pm

I might allow my kid to have maybe one beer now & then but I wouldn't go so far as to keep them supplied w/ their fav alcoholic drinks, which implies that this 16 yr old is making a habit out of drinking.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 03-30-2011 - 6:27am

Many adults drink to unwind and relax. I am found of Kahlua after a rough day at work.

Young people often drink to get drunk. there is a difference.

I would think being that Italian family that drinks wine with dinner promotes the first and providing a 'stash' promotes the second.

It does seem as though they are taking the easy way out at many levels.

And I as a parent would be furious if MY child ended up with some of that stash on a Friday night! I don't know if there would be legal responsibility, but I would be promoting other choices of friends for my teen.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-16-1999
Wed, 03-30-2011 - 7:28am

From the time our kids were 16 or 17 y/o we let them have a beer or wine at home with us on occasion if they were staying home for the night AND if they didn't have friends over.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-21-2004
Wed, 03-30-2011 - 11:11am

They're wrong, pretty stupid, but that's their problem.

Do not do this.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-07-2011
Wed, 03-30-2011 - 11:45am

Thank you all so much for your replies, I really appreciate them all.

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