Am I being over-protective?

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-17-2005
Am I being over-protective?
17
Thu, 03-23-2006 - 4:45pm

The drama teacher at school showed the kids the movie "Rent". I am severely opposed to her showing this movie with such overtly sexual themes to my 14 year-old son. One of my friends said that I am being over the top because I feel angry at this teacher over past incidents.

I thought I would come and see what your opinions are as I have come to trust your opinions as a frequent lurker,

Michelle

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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-19-2003
Sat, 03-25-2006 - 9:57pm

The non-popular opinion but yes I do think you may be over-reacting. Its a drama class and this is a popular film about people struggling in artistic careers -- and yes there may be sexual content but that's life isn't it?

A question: how would you react if he saw "Terminator"? Would you be okay with that? "Terminator" is full of explosions, violence -- an overall angry, dark film. I've seen studies that say parents object more to films with sexual content than films with violence. But when you think about it, maybe less than 1% of us will ever do something violent in our lives but almost ALL of us will have sex some day.

We all have to get over this obsession with not allowing our teens to see/hear/read anything about sex. They deal with these feelings of awakening sexuality every day and by trying to oppress them from even seeing it portrayed in film and art are we sending them the message that what they feel is "wrong"? Just a thought.

Rent wasn't that bad. Its not like she showed them pornography or something. Ask him what HE thought of the film and I bet the sexuality barely registered....

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-17-2005
Sun, 03-26-2006 - 10:56am

That is the thing... Yes, I am very offended by violent movies. My children do not watch them unless I have previewed the movie and deemed them "ok". I review movies mercilessly before attending anything at the theatre. I visit no less than two reviews that are from a parent's perspective.

I do not feel that a teacher has the right to show any film above a PG rating at a high school and G in elementary. Period! The fact that my son is currently in counseling for sexually related issues though, does in fact cause me to have more reservations with the teacher showing Rent.

Michelle

Avatar for bookwormmom
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-22-2003
Sun, 03-26-2006 - 12:14pm
I understand what the other poster is saying about what kids see, but I do feel that the school has a responsibility to let the parents know what is planned and give them the choice as to whether they want their child to see a movie or not. My dd is 16 and I had no problem letting her go see Rent with her friends, but that was my choice and I would have expected that if it was shown in school the teacher would have notified the parents that this is what is planned. And yes I would feel the same way if it had been violence rather than any sexual content. I also think it depends on the age of the students seeing the movie. Once they are 17 and able to pretty much see what ever they want at the theater (as per the rules of the theater not the family rules) I would have no problem with them showing PG-13 movies with out my consent, but when they are 13 - 14 yo I think the parents should know. There are some PG-13 movies that I would rather my kids not see, or see with me or after I have seen them so we can discuss what they are seeing.
Kristie
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Avatar for momtb4
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Sun, 03-26-2006 - 6:10pm

Michelle

I want to encourage you to sit down today and write down all the events you can clearly remember that involve this teacher. I think that you would have been only a little upset about the movie if it was the only thing this teacher has done. But, it seems Mrs. ___ has decided she's gonna do what she wants to do, regardless what anyone thinks, and since no one has spoken up, she's able to get away with it.

So put it all down on paper, this will make sure that you can include all the details and that you are recalling all the events. Then, you can hand that to the principal, showing that it's not just 1 or 2 things, but this series of things. Removing your child from campus without your permission is a legal violation. I'd probably chat with an attorney, get a real feel for what the laws are, then you can speak knowledgeably about them. I know that if I found out that a teacher was taking my child (of any age!!) off campus without my permission, I would file something legally, more to make a point than anything else. I'm concerned now that this teacher is grooming students for potential abuse. Seems to be the vane she's going in.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-01-2003
Mon, 03-27-2006 - 6:50pm
I was trying to recall what the rating of this movie is. Isn't it "R". If so, I'm really surprised that a school would okay showing this movie to 14 year olds. Even if the movie is PG13, I think it's pretty presumptious of them to assume that all the parents would be okay with it. My 15 year old did see the movie when it came out but I watched it with her. I have to admit, there were certainly a few eye-opening moments in the movie but we talked about them. Since it was shown at school, that doesn't even give you the opportunity to talk to her about it. I don't think you're being over-the-top.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-01-2003
Mon, 03-27-2006 - 7:13pm

Oh...I stand corrected. I checked the rating of the movie and it's PG13. Since it touched on so many issues, I thought it was rated R.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-17-2005
Fri, 03-31-2006 - 7:59am

UPDATE:

I have gotten some resolution from the school. The teacher is now required to send home notices prior to showing films and have written permission to remove my son from school grounds. I am not entirely happy with the resolution because I wonder how many children saw the film and were influenced, but did not talk to their parents about it...

For now though my concern has to be for my child, I guess. Part of me feels I should have been an advocate for all the students, but an even bigger part of me wants my son to have a "normal" school life. Which means, no mom going to the newspaper or having a fit in the principal's office about what was shown in class.

I hope I am doing the right thing,

Michelle

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