Another 'Grades' Post

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-06-2006
Another 'Grades' Post
11
Mon, 11-06-2006 - 11:32am

DD's 1st quarter grades were not up to her usual standards -- at all. I know that there are lots of parents who would be thrilled to see their child get these grades, but for DD, they're atypical for her and I don't know what to do or say.

While we didn't come down on DD for slacking off, DH and I are a bit upset. When I opened the grades, I actually didn't say anything at all so DD did -- "Well, they're not BAD grades, mom". I said, "No, they're not bad grades at all, but they're bad grades for YOU. These are NOT the kind of grades we have seen from you all your life and have come to expect from you. We know that you are capable of better. Dad and I see this and it seems that you are not putting much effort into your schoolwork. We see someone who is slacking off and not doing her best. This is what we have a hard time with."

How do you get mad at a kid for B's? DD is right, it's not a bad report card at all. BUT, a B grade has typically been the exception, rather than the norm for her. I have only heard DD say one time this year that any class was 'hard' and that was about her French class after failing a test. What I DO hear is that her classes are 'boring' and that she's just not 'into it' this year. So because her classes aren't fun or she doesn't find them particularly interesting, she doesn't apply herself? Doesn't work for me.

The other factor that is an issue for me is that DD attends a private school that we pay for ... in more ways than one: tuition, books, uniforms and countless other nickel and dime expenses. It was the school of HER choice and it is an hour away from home. DH's office is about 15 minutes from the campus, so he has to drive to the area anyway, but he drives past his office to get her to school, then turns around and goes back to work. DD has to stay on campus until DH gets off work and then he goes to get her. They leave in the morning at about 6:45 and don't get home until about 6:00 each night. So while it's not incredibly INconvenient for DD to attend this school, it is not super convenient, either. DD seemed extremely happy at this school last year; this year, not so much.

Right now, I'm in the mindset that if her grades don't come back up to her usual standard by the semester, she'll find herself in one of our district schools that is closer to home and which doesn't cost us anything outside our tax dollars for her to attend. DH and I do really like the private school in spite of its location and feel she is getting a really great education. We also feel it is a good investment in time and money for DD. However, if she's going to put forth a half-a$$ed effort, I don't see any reason to continue paying for an education that could be obtained free elsewhere.

We pretty much told her at the onset that because of the $$ and effort it is taking us for her to attend this school, we expected nothing less than her best. What do you think? Do I have unreasonable expectations?

 

 

 

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2005
Tue, 11-07-2006 - 2:05pm

I don't think the grades are the main issue here. She's stated that she's bored and not that into school this year. Since she has to wait for your dh everyday, her day must seem very drawn out. What activities is she involved in? Drama club? Improv? Photography? school website? Book club? Chess club? Poetry club? Science club? School play? Politics? Sports? Band? Choir? Debate team? Dance committee? Yearbook? School newspaper? Does she have anything to look forward to doing during the school day outside of the academics? Is she on any committees? A member of any clubs? Does she talk about her friends at school? Is she able to socialize with them outside of school?

If she's not involved, perhaps getting involved will make staying at school longer during the day more enjoyable for her and help her pull out of her funk.

JMO
stacy

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