Any experience with STDs?

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-14-2007
Any experience with STDs?
8
Thu, 06-28-2007 - 7:29pm
As I've been posting here, my 15 y.o. DD is still hoping to get back together with the bf who dumped her a few months ago. I mentioned last week that I found out she was considering doing something "nasty" (his words), although I have no idea if any such sexual activity has ever occurred between them. Now I find out that this boy has a urological condition which is caused primarily by STDs. Needless to say, I was a little freaked out to learn about this. I intend to have a frank discussion with my DD about exactly what has gone on. I will use this as another opportunity to discuss the consequences of this type of behavior. But in the meantime--if I find out that she was sexually active with him in some way, do I need to take her to a doctor? What do they do to check for STDs?? I don't want to overreact, but I want to keep her safe and healthy. Thanks.
Avatar for mjaye2002
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 06-28-2007 - 9:36pm

Not that I have a lot of experience or knowledge on STDs, but I'm guessing the tests would vary with the type of STD that is of concern. There may be some sort of universal tests of some sort, I have no idea.

I have to admit, I would be torn over how to handle this, especially since there is nothing definite, ya know? If you know the name of the STD you can always contact your family doctor and speak to someone who actually *knows* something. If you find out that she *did* have sex of any kind with him then I think you really *must* have her examined. I believe many STDs, especially in females, can go a long time without showing any symptoms. And, as awful as it sounds, if she has contracted something that can't be cured (genital warts, herpes, etc) then she must be extra, extra careful in her life not to spread it.

I am curious, how did you come to find out about his condition? Did dd tell you?

At any rate, this is an opportunity to *really* discuss sex and STDs with your dd, just like you said, and that becoming sexually active means she has to become sexually responsible--not only by using condoms, but refraining from sexual activity when she or her b/f is having an outbreak (such as herpes) and having regular gynecological exams.

My heart goes out to you. Here's hoping it's nothing.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-14-2000
Thu, 06-28-2007 - 9:52pm
I don't know a lot about specific STD's but just wanted to echo that this is an especially good time to keep the conversations going.
Pam
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-14-2007
Thu, 06-28-2007 - 9:53pm
Thanks for your response. I found out because she told me he hasn't been feeling well, and then she mentioned the name of the condition. I recall hearing that he had this same problem a few months ago. Out of curiosity, I looked it up and was shocked to see that the main cause of this ailment in young males is STDs, such as chlamydia and gonorrhea. He is a "player"--has girls falling all over him--so who knows when and if he could have contracted something like that, and who he might have spread it to!
Avatar for weberdns0
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-25-2000
Sun, 07-01-2007 - 1:49pm

I think that you need to take your dd to a gynecologist for an evaluation.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-14-2007
Sun, 07-01-2007 - 5:46pm
Thanks to everyone who replied. I did have a very frank discussion with my DD who swore up and down that she never engaged in any sort of sexual activity with the bf. I know kids lie, so I don't necessarily believe her completely. She started to get very defensive that I apparently "don't trust" her. So I decided to call her physician and see what she said. I explained the whole situation, and she didn't think there was a reason to bring her in if she's not symptomatic. Apparently, despite the info I got from the Mayo Clinic's website, the former bf's disorder isn't necessarily STD-related if he isn't sexually active, and we have no way of knowing that. We did agree to give her the Gardasil vaccine, and the doctor can do a quick urine test for STDs when she comes in for that. If nothing else, at least this situation opened up another good discussion for us. Sheesh.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-14-2006
Sun, 07-01-2007 - 6:24pm

What a worry.

By all means, try to talk with her, but you must take her to the family doctor now. Describe your worries to the doc, but then let her have a private consultation with the doc. She may be more willing to discuss things with the doc than with you. The doc can then do any necessary tests. Have you considered getting her vaccinated for HPV? That is useful for both genital warts and cervical cancer.

Good luck.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-16-1999
Mon, 07-02-2007 - 7:30am

I do agree that letting DD have a private conversation with the doc (preferrably a female one) is the route to go.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-14-2007
Mon, 07-02-2007 - 9:10am
Yes, I agree with both of you that having her talk privately w/ the doctor is a great idea. The doctor told me that kids often lie about this even when it's all confidential and behind closed doors, but it can't hurt.