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| Thu, 03-02-2006 - 7:09pm |
Well my genius daughter has decided to become a smoker, and got herself caught last night.At about midnight my husband and I smelled smoke in our small two bedroom apt, in a completly non smoking building.I marched into her room, but she insisted that people were smoking in the parking lot and her window was open (we are on the sixth floor). I didn't check close last night but this morning I had a good look and sure enough there are ashes all over the window sill.
We have talked to her many times about smoking and up until recently she was against it. So, when she comes home from school this afternoon, she will be finding her plans for tonight cancelled, replaced by a major cleaning and airfreshening of her room. Following that she will be reading some new material about smoking and writing us an essay to post on our door for all to see. She is also going to have to give us reciepts to show how she is spending her allowance for a while so we know she isn't buying cigarettes.
Is there anything else we could try? I'd like to nip it in the bud this first time, I know for many it's a bit of a right of passage, but the fact that she is doing it in our house thinking she could get away with it really irks me.
Thanks all
Michelle

I quit in the fifth grade! My mom caught me and I was SO mortified that I never smoked again - not even when ALL my friends did as teens (it ws vogue back then!).
Seriously though, tell her that you will absolutely not put up with it. Decide on a consequence that will be most painful and enforce it any time and every time you catch her. She may still smoke, but it will never be around you and she will probably lose interest eventually. My sister smoked as an adult - she was married and a mom to five kids. My mom would not allow her to smoke in her presence (oh the power of mothers!). She knew darn well my sister still smoked and she knew she could not control it, she never nagged her about it but her philosphy was "If she doesn't smoke around me, it's that much more time she isn't smoking." We had a close family with a lot of get-togethers. She did evenutally quit on her own and my mom had the good sense to keep her mouth shut.
I don't know where you live, but they just imposed a smoking ban in the city where my dd's school is and it's just plain hard for smokers to find anyplace to go. If your weather is anything like ours (today it is 16 degrees and snowing), my guess is your dd will get tired of "stepping outside" soon enough!
jt
it sounds like you are on the right track to dealing with this.
We are in a pretty difficult place to be anti-smoking. We are currently living in Japan and it's very accepted here. Very few places even have non-smoking sections. Cigarettes are sold in vending machines almost everywhere for about $2 a pack. Many of the kids at her school smoke and have for extended periods of time already. We had a pretty good talk last night about the health problems and about being an example for her brothers and sister to follow as well as her cousins. This seemed to hit home as she is very protective of them all. I made some points about her and her friends not doing it around me and our house. Hopefully she makes the right choice, and I intend to make the wrong one very uncomfortable.
thanks!