Any Motherly Advice?
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Any Motherly Advice?
| Wed, 08-15-2007 - 2:56am |
Hi all, my name is Jess, I'm 18 years old. I've been looking around on these message boards mainly trying to find anything on the issue I'm dealing with, but thus far, I've got nada. In any case, hopefully some of you might have input on my situation. I will be leaving for college very soon, traveling a very long way from Alaska to New York. I began dating my boyfriend nearly 9 months ago, he will be going to school about sixty miles away from my school. He had originally had a... hard time trying to figure out where to go. I will admit, he wanted to go to school near me (despite my protests: I don't want to influance a decision, not yet). In this pursuit, he decided to go to Oregon, because it was near where I might've ended up. I wanted him to go to NYU (he'd applied there because he thought that I was going to), it was a better school, more opportunity, etc. I did want to go to New York--opportunity!--but hadn't found a school within my budget. Finally, I found my school, and my boyfriend was sold on NYU. His mom and I had originally been somewhat... comfortable with one another, however the morning after he told her that he'd be going to NYU, I was over for breakfast and she had a bit of a... melt down? Since then, I've been afraid to interact with her, and felt that she blames me not only for taking away her son, but for his going to New York (she was happy that he might follow me to Oregon, its closer). This all came to a head the other night...This has been a long story, but I suppose what I'm asking is... How can I make things right with her, or any advice that you might have... I don't want to leave things on a bad note. Thank you so much!

Hugs to you, and bless you for asking!
I agree with rose's ideas. How about picking up a nice small bouqet of flowers and attaching a small card that reads something along the lines of "thanking her for her support and that you will miss her". Keeping it simple of course.
Everyone is entitled to have a not so well behaved moment and that apparently was hers. I'd try to let it roll off a little as it likely has more to do with her and her son than you. Try not to personalize it too much and continue being respectful and nice. When you're at her home, offer to help with dinner or clean up like normal and just be pleasant. I don't think overly extending yourself at this time is the way to go as she's probably a little emotional at the thought of her son being so far away from home, etc.
Hugs to you and good luck in college!
I agree with a small bouquet of flowers and just show her that you
appreciate her.It sounds like you are very responsible and headed
in the right direction.I hope my kids turn out that well!!
I am sure it will all work out.
All the best as you embark on a new adventure and phase in your life.
Have a great day,
Shelley
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I doubt its personal
I wish these decisions would be made without considering relationships; it really should be about the school, not the BF/GF.
So, being in a similar situation with my middle son, I am annoyed at the decision he and the GF have made but I am not angry at the GF-really!
I changed schools my sophomore year for a boy-we broke up a few months later but I ended up at a better school-still, looking back with the wisdom of my many years, it was not an informed decision and we all want you guys to make informed decisions!
What about costs? Is his family paying? Has this just upped the ante(oregon vs NY-I would think so)
The GF here, making the decision she did, just bought her parents an extra semester of college. I suspect DS's decision did at least the same for us here-and we are footing 100% of the bill