Anyone having college withdrawl
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| Tue, 08-29-2006 - 11:36am |
Anyone having problems letting go!!!!
I just took my one and only to college on Saturday. I am so unhappy, but so happy for her. She worked hard to get to this point. I know that, but still..... She is not totally independent, she has no job, so she is still expecting us to keep her in cash for what she wants to do while she is there. Is there a time that you say, you want your independence, that is going to work both ways. My husband is very ill and unable to work, so budget is real tight. Not her problem I know. Am I expecting more from an 18 year old than they are willing to give?
Is it normal for them to just forget everything that they left behind? She is my only and not sure if this is just what happens. Her and I were really close. She calls like once a day and talks somewhat online, just one line responses to what I am saying. She isn't busy, she only has like two classes a day. She is coming home on weekends, she is only 25 minutes away. When we first took her on the weekend, she said she was sad, she missed her b/f and was miserable, but it doesn't seem to have taken long to just act like none of her life existed before college. I know I am an adult and know at this point in my life, there is nothing more important than family, but I'm sure when I was a teenager, I didn't see that either.
Anyone having or have had similar college experiences.
Andie

First - let me assure you that this is all normal! It is normal for you to miss your DD- and it is normal for her to "forget" you! She is trying to be an independent college student- and it's hard. I would let her to continue to make the contacts- sometimes it's just easier for them to fit you into their schedule- also most colleges encourage it this way.
Second: please come on over to the Parents of College Students board! Here you will find many- same minded parents going thru the same things you are! You will get a lot of support & advise. Some of us have kids in various stages of college life- my DS for example is transferring after 2yrs from a college in PA to a local NYS college for the spring 2007- semester- so right now we are in college "limbo"! but we've all experienced the ups and downs and wonderful world of FAFSA forms! So you will be right at home- come on over...
Thanks so much for the info!!!!!!!!!
Andie
This is such a difficult time. I moved my last one out 1 1/2 weeks ago. I was okay until this past Sun night when I had to walk into youth time at church without her - that was tough. Plus, she's been sick ever since she's been gone and not really telling me much about it b/c she didn't want to worry me. I've been able to tell from her voice she didn't feel good but this morning she called and said she spent the night in the RA's room b/c she was so sick. Her sister convinced her to go to the doc tomorrow.
I have always looked at finances as a family thing. I help and support my kids as much as possible but if it's not possible then I show them the budget, explain where I've cut back and ask if they can help out too - either by cutting back or getting a job. This has worked amazingly well for my girls. Your DD could possibly get a job on campus to earn some of her spending money.
Good Luck and big hugs to you!! It will get better - I promise.
Sorry to hear your daughter is not well. Hope she gets to feeling better.
I know things will work out. I will eventually get used to it, now if I could just tell her dog it will be okay, she is going around the house looking at the door to see if she is coming. Poor little thing.
Thanks for the kind words!!
Andie
Please have your daughter look into work study on campus and have her do it asap as jobs tend to go quickly. These jobs are wonderful as it provides income, they're located right on campus, and it's a great way to get to know faculty and staff.
Our daughter also started college on Monday. She's about 35 minutes away. I am so thrilled for her but sad for all the reasons you mentioned. Still, it's very much a time for adjusting to both her new life and our new life. Please allow her the freedom to find her nitch and settle in. Once that happens, I'm sure she'll be in touch more often. Good-luck! lk
Thanks so much!!!!!!!! We did check into working on campus, they said she was not eligible, I guess that is reserved for the students who really have no financial resources whatsoever. She is going to work on her breaks at a store inthe mall that she worked part time over the summer. She said she knows lots of college kids who live on noodles and she can do it too. Sounds like a positive attitude to me!!!!
She has already talked to me twice today, so I think we will all be fine.
Isn't this exciting and sad time all at the same time. Hope your daughter does well!!!!
Andie