appropriate rules for 16 yr old boy.....

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-23-2006
appropriate rules for 16 yr old boy.....
4
Wed, 08-23-2006 - 12:14am
this is very long, sorry! 16 yr old son - 17 in november - junior in h.s. - always a "spirited" child - but he's also always been very tender hearted and basically incredibly sweet - and we've had a good tho stormy relationship. we homeschooled and he's been in public charter hs for a little over a year. nice friends (many he's had for years), plays on frisbee team, b grades (getting a's would cut into his friend time..). this summer he's been so happy - hanging out with the kids, playing frisbee, going to movies etc. they've also spent lots of time here - bbq-ing and watching movies. last week he and boy next door were not getting along (as ws also the story with other kids). i asked the mom (we're friendly) if her kid ok (he quit hs and i've been wondering if he's sorry/depressed). anyway, no idea what she said to him - but what my son screamed at me at 2:30 am is that she told him i said he had a problem. he then called/txted others to supposedly say that my son's mommy is fighting his battles. talk about feeling like in twilight zone! it's been horrible, painful, etc etc. he's said lots of bad things to me. somewhat better this week, but still awful. this has never occurred. we have always gotten bac to heart-connection before. ANYWAY i work nights 10 pm-6 am, husband out of town. we let him stay here at night - prob a bad idea. told the parents on each side (where his friends live) he'd be alone. question: bad idea? is he too young? should we be having stronger rules/boundaries? what do others do? seriously, not one of my friends has had this happen to her (except the one whose kid committed suicide... don't want to call her obviously). life feels completely out of control. any feedback appreciated. any, seriously. thanks
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-03-2003
Wed, 08-23-2006 - 2:44pm

Hi, Please don't take this the wrong way, but could you edit your post by looking at the grammar, spelling and overall structure? I've tried to read it a couple of times but I can't seem to get where your going with it.

Jenny

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Wed, 08-23-2006 - 2:49pm

I personally would not let a 16 yo stay home alone overnight. We went away for the weekend recently and my 17 yo DD didn't want to go--she doesn't really get along that well w/ my DH (her stepfather) or her 16 yo stepsister, besides if my DSD and DS hang out together, she will be the 3rd wheel, but that's not the point. I told her she could be here during the day, but she either had to stay w/ a friend or at her dad's overnight. She had to work Fri night til 10:00 and then Sat. a.m. at 9:30, so she asked if she could stay at home and I still said no, cause her father's is 20 mins. away max.

She is a very good kid and I'm not worried that she would do anything, but I would be worried about her safety. You never know if that would be the one night someone would try to break into the house in our usually safe neighborhood, would there be a fire, or some rare occurrence, that I know is probably not going to happen. Also, I have heard too many stories about kids finding out that someone is home alone and coming over for a party, even not invited. Since you are only at work, that probably wouldnt' happen, but is your son totally resistant to temptation. I know kids sometimes get stupid idea even when they are otherwise good kids.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-03-2004
Wed, 08-23-2006 - 3:21pm
I wouldn't feel comfortable leaving my DD16 home alone all night. My DH works 3rd shift and if I do go away for a long weekend I always make arrangements for her to sleep out either at a friends house or with family. It is a safety issue for me. DD is an only child and not only would I worry I know DD would too because she spooks easily. She is not ready but even if she was I wouldn't do it. But that's just me - maybe if there were siblings I would feel differently.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-16-1999
Wed, 08-23-2006 - 9:35pm

I know it's hard while you're going thru it, but almost every teen I have ever known or ever heard of has eventually totally blown up at a parent, seems like more often mom than dad.