Are your kids embarrassed by you?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Are your kids embarrassed by you?
6
Wed, 05-21-2003 - 12:19pm
Lately, my 13 1/2 ds has asked me to drop him off at school, not in the front where I used to, but away from the main entrance. (I take him to school because I have to drive to work anyway) When I asked him if it's because he's ashamed of me, he said no, it's my car. I live in a town that has a lot of affluent people, BMWs, Mercedes, Lexus, Jaguar type people. I drive a Hyundai. It is not beat up or anything, just small and inexpensive. I told him, it gets me where I want to go, I can afford it, and if he thinks I should have a fancier car, then he could buy me one. LOL! I'm afraid that he's reaching this materialistic stage (if there is such a thing) and I certainly am not that way. I can't afford to be!! I tried to get us into a place where we could volunteer at a homeless shelter, but they never called me back. I really want him to be grateful for what he has. Any other volunteer suggestions or should I just drive him down to a ghetto?
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 05-21-2003 - 7:33pm
The car's just an excuse. It's you he's embarrassed of. I don't mean that to sound like an attack, he's a 13 year old boy. Of course he's embarrassed of you.

I'd tell him (with an evil grin on your face) that he has two choices, you drop him, quietly, in front of the school, or you drop him in front of the school and then get out of the car and yell "I love you, honey, be mommy's good little boy today!" as he's walking away.

That should put things into perspective for him.

Firefly

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 05-22-2003 - 9:11am
I like that idea! I'll hug and kiss him too. LOL!
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-20-2003
Thu, 05-22-2003 - 10:28am
LOL - I think you're right! Some kids are just like that! or heck maybe he is embarassed by the car - who knows? I know parents are shocked when my 14 year old son walks out of the locker room after a hockey game and gives me a kiss on the cheek. He never was embarassed when I dropped him off at school in 8th grade either - a kiss on the cheek and off he went. His friends would laugh at him and he'd just shrug his shoulders.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-02-2003
Mon, 06-02-2003 - 2:05pm
I think it's just the AGE. I drive one of those fancy cars but being seen in public with a parent, "why that's just for kids". Teenagers are trying so hard to develop their independence. One the other hand, how do they think everyone else get's to school?

I personally like the messgage about either dropping him off quietly or the alternitive...... LOL

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-19-2003
Mon, 06-02-2003 - 5:43pm
I like phirefly's reply too - but I reckon you should just, (for the moment), do it his way.

We might not like the idea that our kids are embarrassed by us but I feel that there are much bigger things to take issue over.

Do this for him and you might not have such a fight on your hands when he's looking for greater independance.

Lynette

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-14-2003
Mon, 06-02-2003 - 7:31pm
LOL, no, my kids aren't embarrassed by me. They aren't even embarrassed by the van either. They figure if it's got four wheels and a motor, then it is ok by them.

My daughter did say the surest way to embarrass a kid is to dress like they do, instead of like an adult or to try to fit in with your kids' friends. Haven't seen my kids hide when they're with me, so I must be following their code, LOL!