Awww...I can't handle another round
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Awww...I can't handle another round
| Thu, 08-03-2006 - 4:32pm |
My DD is now 17 and seemed like she had turned a corner and was paving a better path for herself. Last year was just the worst; she had a BF that called her terrible names and criticized her, demeaned her in front of people, cheated on her left and right, gave her STD's (she was a virgin until he came along... I'm quite bitter, can you tell?). DH tried so many approaches with her from allowing her to figure things out to stepping in when the verbal abuse got really bad back in Jan. All of her friends told her she needed to get rid of him. She just kept hanging on. He even stood her up for Prom in April and she went with girlfriends. Things got better after that... she was happy, having fun, making new friends (he didn't allow her to do things with her friends because he didn't like any of them). All summer until last week she was having a great time. It was wonderful. A couple of weeks ago she saw the old BF... I don't know where or anything but it prompted them to start texting each other again. Now she is in love with him again! Aghh. We had to take her phone away because she went off with some other guy and smoked weed (another story). Well, we have her phone for two weeks... I couldn't help myself... I had to check messages because I had reason to suspect she was starting things up with the old BF again. Sure enough. She said she missed him and he said he loved her (how can he love her when he is with MANY other girls??). The girl is crazy! Can't she remember all the agony he put her through? DH called old BF from her phone and told him in no uncertain terms that he was not to contact her anymore or he would get a restraining order. The BF said, "Fine with me. I don't call her anyway. I don't even care." What do you all think about this? It appears DD has been doing the contacting and just cannot get it through her head that the dude doesn't really care about her. This is what I am afraid of... DD makes immature decisions and we recently found out she has ADD which is contributing to the risk-taking and poor decisions. I'm afraid she will get another STD or HIV for heavens sake if she gets back with this guy.

Oh, I am so sorry you are going through this; I remember the story.
Are you sure she ever stopped seeing him? I mean, is it possible you only knew now because of the phone check?
Doesnt really matter but it crossed my mind when reading all this
Short of locking her up I dont know what you can do-I really don't!
He is obviously in this for the sex-sorry, I know that's blunt but he has surely figured out that if he says he loves her, he will get what he wants and still be able to see other girls. After all, thats what happened before.
Could you allow them to see each other only at your home or under supervsion. Do you think that might get so old he would move on? I know thats not what you want but you dont want what you have now either
My thoughts on the ADD portion is that who she dates is not really an impulsive decision, KWIM? If she met somebody at the store and decided to go home with him, yep, that's impulsive but continuing to see someone after this amount of time and experience just doesnt sound ADDish in itself. ADDers do like stim though-the up and down roller coaster day to day could provide that!
Good luck
Deb