Back to the looney bin I go!
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| Mon, 02-05-2007 - 6:22pm |
So we just got back on Wed from a wonderful vacation in Mexico, myself, DH, DD and DS. We all had a nice time including DS who I thought might not enjoy it. We even all got along for the most part!!!
DS's car insurance of $400 was due on Friday so he asked if I could pay it on my visa and then he'd pay me back in 4 payments of $100. I agreed as this was the arrangement we had 6 months ago and it worked out. Well, Saturday DS was backing up out of a restaurant parking lot and hit another car. His taillight is broken and there is some bumper and light damage to this other lady's car. Apparently they exchanged insurance information and I told DS that he had to notify the insurance company today about the accident. I told him to also call the lady and see if she could get an estimate so that maybe if it isnt all that much to fix she'd agree not to go thru insurance. Last thing DS needs is for his insurance rates to go up.
Just talked to DS and he didnt call the insurance company OR the lady like I told him to. He said he was "busy" and would get to it tomorrow. He also had a performance review this afternoon with his boss that he missed because he was "busy". His "busy" is playing computer games at his buddy's house. I got livid with him on his cellphone and he hung up on me. I promptly called him back and said "dont ever, ever hang up on me again" to which he replied "dont b-tch at me then". I told him that he is almost 19 and he has to handle this insurance thing on his own - I'm tired of picking up the pieces for him, time to grow up. All he said was he was quitting his crappy job and getting another one. Ya, I'll believe that one when I see it!
SIGH - I just dont get it! We have a great week together and then bam, we get home and things are crappy again. When will this kid wake up and take some responsiblity for himself and his life?

See what happens in the next 24 hours
He may have been putting on a show for the friend
One of the worst conversations I had with my middle son was when he was at a poker game his senior year with a bunch of college students. He was horrid.
His behavior was unacceptable under any circumstances and it wasnt that I excused it, but neither the rude discussion format nor the behavior we were discussing happened again. He was listening even though he had to put on the act for his older friends-arrghhh
This is his insurance and doesnt affect your rates? If so, I guess let him sink or swim. You have told him what he needs to do and covered the 'teaching' end of this step in parenting.....
If it is tied to your insurance and will affect your rates, I'd stand over him or do it for him rather than risk something happening to you financially
I am so sorry you had to have such a hard let down from such a beautiful trip.
I hope I am not being too harsh, but I don't see how these two sentences can be in the same post:
and:
I know you're right. I have to start letting him fall but its so hard. The only reason I agree to pay his insurance and him pay me back is that we live in a small town with no other method of transportation to the city other than car. I have been there, done that with the driving him back and forth and its much less stressful for me when he's got his own transportation.
I guess I'll just have to learn to sit back and let him deal with these things like an adult should - but be there if he has any questions.
Is your son's ins. $400 for the year or just an installment? I ask bec. my 18 yo DD's ins. for the minimum is $1900 for the year. She doesn't have collision, just comprehensive, since she has an old car. She pays for it herself too. The ins. co. will put her on an installment plan, but she has to come up w/ $500 for the first installment. Last year when she got her car, she had to come up w/ almost $700 for the first payment. She had been working and saving money though. She is penalized for being a young driver. I had told her at Christmas that she should be saving some money for insurance, but she said don't worry, I have over $1000 in my bank account. So we'll see if she complains about this. If so, I don't have much sympathy. I also told her that at some point, she has to realize she really has too many clothes and she doesn't have to just keep buying more.
I know how you feel, though. You can have a really good time and think everything is great, then your kids can say or do something that really gets to you. :(
Sorry your DS is being a PITA after a nice holiday together! Kind of takes away the warm fuzzies away, doesn't it?
I agree that at 19, it's time for your DS to step up and do what is going to be expected of him all the rest of his life. I guess it's time to stop enabling him, mom. I'm sure it will be hard, but sure think its time ...
{{{hugs}}}