bfs and gfs sleeping over???

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-03-2004
bfs and gfs sleeping over???
21
Thu, 11-29-2007 - 3:17pm

I am completely blown away about a conversation I had with DD last night.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 11-29-2007 - 3:24pm

It happened my son's freshman year of college.

DS was home for a weekend and the GF who is from this area and didnt attend the same school came over and just stayed! It was totally unexpected and I wasnt sure WHAT to do so I wussed out and did nothing. That happened on Xmas vacation too.

I did put my foot down when he came home for the following summer, by golly-better late than never? LOL.

I cant see allowing it in high school though-seriously. This rather snuck up on me as he had lived with a friend the summer after high school and then was away at school-there had been some mental separation, acknowledging him as an adult stuff happening.

High school would just be too much for me.

And it takes away looking forward to that at college. Seems like we ought to leave something to look forward to!

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Thu, 11-29-2007 - 4:07pm

This certainly wasn't very common w/ my DD's friends.

Avatar for bookwormmom
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-22-2003
Thu, 11-29-2007 - 6:14pm

It doesn't surprise me. DD's friends mostly are not SA, but there are a few kids that she knows that are and I know some of them have this kind of thing going on. Here's a good one for you, the one girl who has been SA for a long time, sleeping with different guys, (in fact 3 in one weekend at the age of 15 and no longer a friend of my dd)used to have her bf stay over with her. Then one day her mom catches her putting on her shirt when they came home and the bf was with her. The mom freaks out. Now what did she think they were doing when she let him sleep in the same room with her dd? What an idiot!


Anyway, there are a lot of parents who do allow sex in their homes. I personally wouldn't and I can't imagine letting my kids have a bf or gf overnight in the same room, even when they are older. Maybe if they were living together outside my home and they were older and came to visit or something. But certainly not in high school.


I was surprised when I found out that my nephew had his gf staying at their house, even though they were both in college. SIL

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-16-1999
Thu, 11-29-2007 - 8:51pm

My DD 16 and her bf are SA, but not in our house.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-19-2003
Thu, 11-29-2007 - 10:22pm

My dd doesn't have a bf yet so I don't know how I would deal with this myself.

Avatar for bookwormmom
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-22-2003
Thu, 11-29-2007 - 10:39pm

I guess I understand what you are saying. But look at it this way too. I don't approve of smoking and I know my nephew and his gf both smoke, but I don't allow it in my house. So they have to go outside to smoke if they are here along with anyone else who smokes.


I know it isn't really the same thing, but if I don't approve of what they are doing I don't want them doing it in my home. KWIM?


And like you I would feel strange too. I met dh on my 27th b-day and at the time I lived in the upstairs flat of my parents home. Dh never stayed the night at my apt. On the other hand I did stay at his. It was just too strange that I could hear my dad snoring if I was in my bedroom.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-16-1999
Thu, 11-29-2007 - 10:50pm

However, when

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Fri, 11-30-2007 - 2:59pm

I just think it's being a responsible parent that if you know your child is SA you would make sure they are using BC.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-21-2006
Fri, 11-30-2007 - 4:56pm
Absolutely! Rose did the right thing!
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-19-2003
Fri, 11-30-2007 - 8:28pm

I get what you are saying and I would probably do the same thing myself.

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