Bisexuality?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Bisexuality?
28
Wed, 11-08-2006 - 12:33am

my daughter is 14 and has not had any kind of sex - of this i am sure - she's had one boyfriend for about a month and they kissed...

now - i spy on her online activity - i admit it - and checking it today - it appears that she's thinking she might be bisexual... she's never mentioned this to me though i'm not surprised as this seems to be the very early stage of questioning how she's feeling... seems she has two male friends who have admitted to being bi- though in my experience boys who say they are bi are actually gay and just afraid to admit that at such a young age... i knew a lot of boys in high school who were just coming out and still had girlfriends... however, i didn't know any girls who went through this...anyway - i think she's defining herself based on why one of these boys thinks he's bi - and i don't know what that reason is... i do think that none of these kids have had any real sexual activity straight or gay at this point...

since she hasn't brought this up to me should i just ignore it until she comes to me with questions or should i try to bring it up in some way? i'd love to get her reading materials to help her but there's no way i can do that w/o admitting i've spied on her..

ugh

any advice out there?

Rachel

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-17-2006
In reply to: rachelfran
Sun, 11-12-2006 - 5:01am

Hi

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-17-2006
In reply to: rachelfran
Sun, 11-12-2006 - 5:02am
I agree.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-18-2006
In reply to: rachelfran
Mon, 11-13-2006 - 8:30pm

My oldest daughter (18) told me she was bisexual four years ago. Since that time she has solely dated girls. She has been in her current relationship for slightly over a year. Recently she told me it was confusing in the beginning and it was easier to say bisexual than gay.

My middle daughter (16) told me she was bisexual two years ago. Since that time she has dated two guys and one girl. Her current relationship is with the girl and it has been going on for three weeks.

My youngest daughter (13) says she is straight.

In all the cases it just came up in general conversation. I don't spy on my children. I believe if anything serious ever comes along it will come out eventually without the need to invade their privacy. I have been fortunate. All three of my daughters openly discuss things with me.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-18-2006
In reply to: rachelfran
Mon, 11-13-2006 - 8:43pm

My oldest daughter said she claimed to be bisexual because it was more accepted in her school than being lesbian. She was able to date girls, but without people making some of the anti-gay remarks she saw others receive. A few weeks ago I was shopping with her girlfriend at Wal-Mart. Suddenly out of nowhere a guy called her a dyke. Upon further inquiry I learned that only the, 'known lesbians,' are treated as such.

My oldest also said the reason she claimed to be bisexual was because at first she didn't understand how she felt. She says she was attracted to girls, but her friends constantly talked about guys. She felt different.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-18-2006
In reply to: rachelfran
Mon, 11-13-2006 - 8:55pm

My oldest daughter says she started figuring out her sexuality at 13, but it wasn't until 15 she was sure about it.

I recently had a conversation with my middle daughter about bisexuality being trendy. She agrees that many people are making the claim to attract boys.

My oldest daughter says there is a huge movement among certain religious groups using these 'bisexual posing' teens and LUGs (lesbian until graduation) as proof that sexuality is a choice. They call it the Ex-Gay movement. PFOX, NARTH, and a group called Exodus seem to be the ring leaders in this.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-02-2006
In reply to: rachelfran
Tue, 11-14-2006 - 4:36pm

We've got a little bit of that going on around this household too.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-17-2006
In reply to: rachelfran
Wed, 11-15-2006 - 1:18am


 

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-14-2007
In reply to: rachelfran
Fri, 09-14-2007 - 9:51am
i am a mom of a 13 tear old girl who is going through the same thing she mett this girl a year agao online and she has a13 year old friend at school who says she is bi .2 now she is avoiding me and says i just dont understand it is driving me crazy ,because she has never acted this way before. some people tell me it is a phase 2, but i think it is unhealthy for a 13 year old girl who has never had any type of sexual relationship with anyone to label herself this way i agree with you on the society .and i do not remember having this delima when i was growing up either i just dont know what to do take her friend online away keep her from her friend at school demand she changes her mind or be patient and see if it is a phase and wait for itto pass if you have any advice i would love to hear it

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