Bisexuality?
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| Wed, 11-08-2006 - 12:33am |
my daughter is 14 and has not had any kind of sex - of this i am sure - she's had one boyfriend for about a month and they kissed...
now - i spy on her online activity - i admit it - and checking it today - it appears that she's thinking she might be bisexual... she's never mentioned this to me though i'm not surprised as this seems to be the very early stage of questioning how she's feeling... seems she has two male friends who have admitted to being bi- though in my experience boys who say they are bi are actually gay and just afraid to admit that at such a young age... i knew a lot of boys in high school who were just coming out and still had girlfriends... however, i didn't know any girls who went through this...anyway - i think she's defining herself based on why one of these boys thinks he's bi - and i don't know what that reason is... i do think that none of these kids have had any real sexual activity straight or gay at this point...
since she hasn't brought this up to me should i just ignore it until she comes to me with questions or should i try to bring it up in some way? i'd love to get her reading materials to help her but there's no way i can do that w/o admitting i've spied on her..
ugh
any advice out there?
Rachel

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Hi
My oldest daughter (18) told me she was bisexual four years ago. Since that time she has solely dated girls. She has been in her current relationship for slightly over a year. Recently she told me it was confusing in the beginning and it was easier to say bisexual than gay.
My middle daughter (16) told me she was bisexual two years ago. Since that time she has dated two guys and one girl. Her current relationship is with the girl and it has been going on for three weeks.
My youngest daughter (13) says she is straight.
In all the cases it just came up in general conversation. I don't spy on my children. I believe if anything serious ever comes along it will come out eventually without the need to invade their privacy. I have been fortunate. All three of my daughters openly discuss things with me.
My oldest daughter said she claimed to be bisexual because it was more accepted in her school than being lesbian. She was able to date girls, but without people making some of the anti-gay remarks she saw others receive. A few weeks ago I was shopping with her girlfriend at Wal-Mart. Suddenly out of nowhere a guy called her a dyke. Upon further inquiry I learned that only the, 'known lesbians,' are treated as such.
My oldest also said the reason she claimed to be bisexual was because at first she didn't understand how she felt. She says she was attracted to girls, but her friends constantly talked about guys. She felt different.
My oldest daughter says she started figuring out her sexuality at 13, but it wasn't until 15 she was sure about it.
I recently had a conversation with my middle daughter about bisexuality being trendy. She agrees that many people are making the claim to attract boys.
My oldest daughter says there is a huge movement among certain religious groups using these 'bisexual posing' teens and LUGs (lesbian until graduation) as proof that sexuality is a choice. They call it the Ex-Gay movement. PFOX, NARTH, and a group called Exodus seem to be the ring leaders in this.
We've got a little bit of that going on around this household too.
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