book for teen girls
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book for teen girls
| Sat, 08-11-2007 - 8:30am |
I have a 15 y/o DD who had her first bf this past year. We have talked about sex, but not as much as I would like--partly because it is awkward, but also because she can be hard to talk to at times. And as with so many teens, who knows if she really believes what mom says? She is a voracious reader, though. So DH and I decided to try to find a book that would explain the things we want her to know--not as a substitute for talking about it, but just as additional back-up. I found what I think is a really good one--it's written by two women who are physicians, but is written in a style that is very teen-friendly. I think the info in it is very thorough and not overly "preachy" (which I think would turn off many teens). It does a great job of explaining the choices that teens have to make and walking them through the consequences of each of those choices. It presents the info through real-life stories of teen girls, and real questions that these women have been asked by teens. It's called "Girlology: Hang-ups, Hook-ups, and Holding Out--Stuff You Need to Know About Your Body, Sex, and Dating". It's by Dr. Melisa Holmes and Dr. Trish Hutchison. I have no connection to these authors or the publisher--I just stumbled upon this at my local bookstore, and given recent discussions on this board about sexually active young teens, I thought it was worth mentioning!

So there is my 2 cents.
Sharon
I still do send her an e-mail now and then just to say how proud I am of her etc. and that always brings smiles, hugs and thank yous.
Kristie
I have to reiterate the email thing. But in my case I have had many really great discussions with my daughter via instant messaging. When I am at work and she is at home (she gets home about 3 hrs before I do), she will go online to chat with friends using MSN Messenger. I got myself an account (I use it to talk to friends and coworkers too) and we keep in touch about what is going on.
Many times this has been a useful forum for us to have spontaneous conversations sometimes regarding a story she's read or sometimes regarding something she's heard about a friend or something that happened at school. And its allowed me to express my feelings without being preachy. And she feels less awkward and uncomfortable.
But you know, in the end, the decision is ultimately theirs. And all the well-meaning books and articles and discussions won't prevent them from experimenting and having sex. Heck, I was a very educated and knowledgeable young woman when I became sexually active and the results weren't always so positive. In fact there were alot of things that I thoroughly regret. I made alot of mistakes despite all the information I had. Our kids will make mistakes as well so all I can hope for is that I will remember the feeling of being young and impetuous and how I needed people to understand me and help me work through my mistakes sometimes...
I use instant messaging to talk to my daughter too sometimes--just from the other side of the house! She spends so much time IMing her friends, I decided it was one way to (humorously) stay in touch with her. It's a fun way to communicate, although I haven't used it for anything too serious yet.
I'm not suggesting a book is a cure-all. I just wanted my DD to have good information and be knowledgeable about all of the ramifications of the decisions she will be facing w/ boys, sex, etc. She can be very hard to talk to, and she (like so many teens) thinks Mom and Dad know absolutely nothing. I just recommended this book because I thought that maybe others were facing the same situation, and I think it provides a very balanced view in a way that is appealing to teenage girls. I'm still talking to her about it. The book just provides a good starting point.
Kristie
thanks for the book suggestion.. .we're always looking for more ...
my daughter is definitely on discovery mode.... both hetero and homo so we've talked a lot .. she's also 15.
Rachel