break up

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-11-2008
break up
7
Sun, 09-04-2011 - 11:28pm

Please help. DD16 has been in love with a guy for 2 years. They briefly dated in the spring of 2010. Then he said he wants to end it. She took quite some time getting over it. Finally, she was over it. Then he came back into the picture in Feb 2011, saying he loves her and she was the one for him and he knows that now. DD went right into it and has been with him 6 months. She was more in love than I have ever seen anyone, but he was less and less interested as time went on.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-14-2000
In reply to: cacteye
Sun, 09-04-2011 - 11:40pm

It's tough to see your kids suffering their first heartbreak but it will likely be the first of several. Very, very few people end up together forever with their first teenage 'true love'. The best thing you can do is listen to her, make the obligatory sympathetic clucking sounds, don't say anything negative about him, etc. Then encourage her to connect with her girlfriends, focus on her schoolwork and hobbies/extracurriculars/volunteer work/etc. Of course he doesn't know what he wants at 16-17 and she doesn't either (although at this point she thinks it's him). They are both going to change and grow so much over the next 6-8 years.

Pam
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-25-2002
In reply to: cacteye
Mon, 09-05-2011 - 9:30am

Hi, I can totally sympathize, I'm going thru it for the second time in less than a year...for DD #2, it's been about 5 days since the "love of her life" broke it off...it's totally heartbreaking to see them so sad, but it does get better...her friends are rallying and family is just being supportive and letting things lead where they may.

I really loved this boy, our families became friends, so on a personal level its hard for me, too. His mom and I talk, I think we'll remain friends. On the plus side, he doesn't live close by. We won't be running into each other.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-16-1999
In reply to: cacteye
Mon, 09-05-2011 - 10:58am

Hugs to you!

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-08-2009
In reply to: cacteye
Mon, 09-05-2011 - 6:06pm

Love can suck at times!

One of the signature songs of country singer Garth Brooks is "Thank God for Unanswered Prayers."

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-02-2001
In reply to: cacteye
Wed, 09-14-2011 - 4:01pm

My heart goes out to your daughter and to you too mom!

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-11-2008
In reply to: cacteye
Sat, 09-17-2011 - 6:35am

Thank you so much. This is awful. I hope your daughter

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-27-1998
In reply to: cacteye
Sat, 09-17-2011 - 9:43am

Yes, exactly. They have to stay busy. I can still remember the pain of my first break-up, but the healthiest thing was to go out with my friends as often as possible. Nights at home were just awful.

I follow the "stay busy" rule with my kids any time they are going through a difficult phase. No break-ups (or even dating) yet, but I know those days are coming.