break ups

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-12-2011
break ups
12
Tue, 04-12-2011 - 5:56pm

My DD is thinking of breaking up with her bf, and it's killing me! I know this is

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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-14-2000
In reply to: l_s_jane
Tue, 04-12-2011 - 6:03pm

Hugs to you - it's tough when you get attached to your child's SO. BTDT - one of our oldest gf's even lived with us for a few months. But in reality very few people end up with their high school sweethearts. As your dd transitions into youg adult hood, goes to school, works, etc. there's a good chance she'll be 'in love' several times before she finds Mr. Right. And who knows - maybe once they grow up a bit she and this boy will get back together. It's too bad that she wants to go back to the other guy but the best thing you can do is try to not bad mouth the ex and not put the current bf up on a pedestal. If only our kids could could have our 40+ year old wisdom!

Pam
Avatar for sabrtooth
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-03-1999
In reply to: l_s_jane
Tue, 04-12-2011 - 6:38pm

Bfs come and go, hell HUSBANDS come and go.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
In reply to: l_s_jane
Tue, 04-12-2011 - 7:09pm

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-12-2011
In reply to: l_s_jane
Tue, 04-12-2011 - 7:18pm

"he could ALSO be controlling, immature, alcoholic, bullying, or sexually aggressive when he's with your daughter, but not around you"

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-12-2011
In reply to: l_s_jane
Tue, 04-12-2011 - 7:25pm

They will both be attending the same local college, so that makes it worse. Maybe it is a chemistry issue, but I've seem them holding hands and looking at each other, snuggling on the couch, etc...they sure seemed to like each other. Maybe things are different now than they used to be? Maybe I was just making plans for them in my head, that I wanted to happen :( . I really am heartbroken, as dumb as that all sounds.)

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-27-1998
In reply to: l_s_jane
Tue, 04-12-2011 - 9:15pm

Yes, yes, yes! My parents loved my high school BF. He was a charming, funny, popular, student body president headed for Stanford. But, he was also a serious mama's boy and a control freak. So glad I didn't end up with him!

Avatar for sabrtooth
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-03-1999
In reply to: l_s_jane
Tue, 04-12-2011 - 9:46pm

The first law of being a teen is: "If your parents like it-you must hate it".

Avatar for sabrtooth
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-03-1999
In reply to: l_s_jane
Tue, 04-12-2011 - 10:09pm

<<>>.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
In reply to: l_s_jane
Tue, 04-12-2011 - 10:20pm

I think you can appreciate that he's a nice boy and you liked him, but really I'm surprised you are so invested in your child's relationship.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-12-2011
In reply to: l_s_jane
Tue, 04-12-2011 - 11:16pm

I do realize it sounds weird, but i've heard her tell friends that she knows someday that she's going to marry her ex. I

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