bulling in school
Find a Conversation
bulling in school
| Wed, 10-19-2005 - 5:44pm |
My youngest DD is in the 5th grade and she is a good kid and wants to be everybodies friend like all kids,right, Well she has recently told me that this kid that she has had trouble with last year ,this kid is in her class again this yr. well she just starting her ---again just getting up in my daughter's face nothing real bad just seeing how far she can boss her around,keep in mind my DD is very easy going somewhat and pretty much gets along with everyone. Well in the same class another girl that she was somewhat friends with started to really treat her like crap to,the way she talks to my DD and my DD really was hurt and she would cry and is starting to question her ability with almost everything. But I also understand that kids can be sooo cruel! and I explained this to her,but you just know when something is really starting to affect your child. Well when i took my DD to sch. the other morning I spoke with my DD teacher about to just keep an eye on the situation because it's really getting to my DD and she's acting different not as happy&fun loving anymore. Well teacher said oh absolutly this will stop the teasing will stop and I will notify their parents .... Well after sch. I had one of the parents come down to my house saying whats this all about!!! calling my DD a nerd right in front oh my DD and the kid that is talking and treating my kid bad!!!and her own kid was standing there to. Parent saying you had no right to get my kid into trouble for treating your kid bad...Well her kid has no right to talk to my kid like she was some kid of animal! well I feel that if a kid is getting treated badly and verbally abused a parent has every right to go over the parents head and tell the "teacher"! because the verbal abuse doesn't go on infront of parents,kids are sneaky and if they set out to destroy another kids confidence beleive me they will! I just got right on this bulling for it to stop before it even gets started!No one will treat my DD like she is a nothing and make her feel bad
i'm her mother if I don't protect her who will!!!!But it makes me really mad when parents get mad when there kid is in the wrong or just got caught! Maybe the kid will think twice about talkind to another kid like they are beneth them!!!!
i'm her mother if I don't protect her who will!!!!But it makes me really mad when parents get mad when there kid is in the wrong or just got caught! Maybe the kid will think twice about talkind to another kid like they are beneth them!!!!

Pages
Carrie
This is terrible - your DD should not have to deal with this at school. I agree that the teacher probably shouldn't have told the parents which child their child was teasing - that wasn't very diplomatic or discrete. But in a way it was good - you got some insight into where this other kid got her bad behavior - straight from the mom!
4th/5th grade was when I began to really talk to my DD about avoiding people who are "trouble" - there's going to be folks like that and you have to deal with them. Not "deal with it" - I don't mean that - I mean learning how to keep things in perspective.
Continue to work with the teacher and principal about keeping an eye on teasing!
Sorry you're going through such a tough time
Sue
I agree the teacher should have been discreet but....it probably wasnt too hard to figure out
The kid had no reason not to answer when the parent demanded to know who would do such a thing-obviously, they werent about to get in trouble
Some parents think it is a normal part of childhood. In fact, back when I was in college in the 70s, we were taught to 'let the kids work it out'.
It's difficult to fight that way of thinking :(
there's never a dull moment when you have kids lol You work with famlies and children with autism ? That must be very emotional for all involved,I do know that there are mild to severe cases and I'm sure that the mild cases are somewhat hard to dignoise at first. I thank God everyday that my daughter is healthy,when my daughter was almost two yrs. of I noticed that she was not making the sounds that I was use to hearing from my older daughter around that age. She was a quiet baby,but as a mother you just know something wasn't blending like her sounds,da,da,ma,ma. And the other children could not really understand her well,she really struggled and I couldn't even help,felt helpless!I took her to a nuro. Dr. she was tested for autism and the Dr. ruled that out right off the bat .So anyway what she,DD was diagnoised with was expressive speech delay and I had no idea what that was and to this day it is really boggles me. I had to take her to speech therapy and was instructed to put her in a pre-sch. so she would be interacting with other children so she could develop her speech skills as well as her social skills. that really worked her speech has come a long way ,I'll tell you it has been along road for both of us. I have never met another mother who has gone threw this expressive speech delay problem ,until I met this older women at work ,we talked and her son's problems were so similair to my daughters at that age. I'm sorry to go on
Bullying is very serious. Yes, there was a time when people were told to just let the kids work it out and that they would outgrow it, etc etc. But the truth is it can have serious, long-lasting impacts. I was bullied quite a bit as a child. I was very intelligent and got good grades but I was also small and shy and my parents didn't have alot of money and were very strict with me. So I didn't have alot of the usual social skills. So I was bullied verbally, emotionally and yes, even physically pretty much up until 8th grade. Once I went to high school I deliberately chose a school that the majority of kids I knew weren't attending so that I could make a clean start.
I will openly admit that the harrassment I got as a young child has stuck with me all my life. I still have self-esteem issues. I'm still not very good at asserting myself and will live with alot of things others wouldn't accept. I'm afraid of confrontation -- and so much more.
So bullying must be taken seriously and I for one think your child's teacher did the right thing in contacting that other child's parent. Unfortunately that parent is just as much a creep and bully as her child. So now you know what you are dealing with. And therefore its time to teach your child how to stand up for herself.
I don't mean she has to learn how to fight or be abusive or be cruel. But she should learn some basic survival skills such as how to ignore it, how to deflect the criticism with humour and how to not let this person's abuse define her. There are alot of anti-bullying sites on the internet that spell out these kinds of skills.
Our school system has taken this very seriously and has regular programs at school against bullying. Maybe you should talk to your school's principal about starting such a thing at your daughter's school.
The apple doesn't fall far from the tree, does it? From the parent's behavior you can see why the kid is a bully-the parent is the same. What a shame. How will the kid ever learn?
I think you are right in defending your DD. You're right, if a parent doesn't come to their child's aid, who will? I'm a strong beleiver in standing up to bullies. I've seen them back down time and time again.
When my kids were in grammer school, I always told them never to bully nor start a fight but if they were bullied or someone hit them (someone their size or larger), then I gave them my permission to defend themselves. I also told them that if they got in trouble with the teacher or the principle because of their self-defense, I'd be their immediately to back them up.
I was bullied at times as a child and I will never let the same happen to my kids. Luckily, I don't think it ever has and I think it's because of what I said to them.
Hang in there. Standing up to the parents may dribble down to their kids and, hopefully, the bullying will stop. I hope your DD also finds the strength to stand up to them. Perhaps,she can get her friends to stand by her. Remember, there is strength in numbers.
My heart goes out to your DD and I wish her well,
Mily
The best thing your DD can do, IMHO, is stand up to the bully.
Pages