Cabin party 1 hour away - WWYD?
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Cabin party 1 hour away - WWYD?
| Thu, 10-26-2006 - 6:56pm |
My DD has been begging to go to a party a guy's cabin that is 1 hour away. Everyone plans to get really drunk and everyone is staying overnight. All the jocks and decent kids are going. Most of you know that DD (17) hasn't been making the best choices as far as friends go in the past year. She was sort of hanging around with the "stoners" and has sort of gotten away from them... but only because she got busted with drug paraphenalia. Now she has a court date in Nov. on that charge. Because these kids want to all hang out and socialize and drink, they are going to the far-away cabin so the police don't bust it. There have been so many underage drinking citations in this community. We told DD no because of the upcoming court date and because we had said she couldn't do any overnighters anymore... the last one turned into a very bad situation with her leaving the overnight party and going to her "stoner" BF's house and we didn't know where she was until like 3 in the afternoon the next day! We had contacted the police we have a police officer friend... so we asked for help. We didn't know if she ran away or what. Anyway... now she has been hanging out with kids that actually have goals in life; but we aren't letting her go to this big party with them. But it's due the the lack of trust. I told her, "how do we know you won't leave this party and go with the dirtball drug users again?" She said they can't leave. Anyway... she hates us and is giving us the silent treatment and telling all her friends how much she hates her parents. Are we being too harsh? This parenting is so hard.
Deb
Deb

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I am also totally amazed and angry that there are parents out there who are condoning these types of parties "as long as you don't drive or get caught". What kind of message are they sending to their children about drinking and about personal character? Its one thing for the kids to come up with this plan but another for adults to go along with it.
I must really be in the dark ages. None of my three daughters would be allowed to attend the party even if I didn't know about the drinking. And lets not kid ourselves, if there is going to be drinking, there will be some drugs, too. I wouldn't allow my kids to go to an unsupervised party of any type in a cabin an hour away. That's just asking for trouble. I don't think they would even ask to go.
We all know the opportunity to drink and take drugs is out there and we know our kids will most likely try it. Don't parents realize the value of talking to their children and explaining all the reasons they (the parents) don't want their chidren to drink. Our oldest is away at college and while she shares with us when she has been at a party and had some drinks, we always make sure to have that conversation about the "dangers" of letting drinking become a regular habit and the fact that in every State she is underage and if she gets in trouble with her college, she will pay all fines from her spending money.
Sorry to go on and on but I really think the parental attitiudes are causing alot of the teen drinking problems.
Jane
I just found out last night that my DD was invited to one of those "in the woods" parties that was held last night.
>>>they could use me as their excuse - "my mom is being horrible about this" or whatever. I don't care if their friends think I'm unreasonably strict<<<
This is *exactly* what I tell my DD15 - tell your friends that your parents are mean - I don't care if they hate me! One day this week, she actually asked me if she could go to a party *in Manhattan* on Halloween night (which IS a school night BTW). As soon as I said no, she folded, almost relieved. Now she can say she asked me and I am "being difficult".
Sue
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