can't find my son / what do i do?

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-08-2005
can't find my son / what do i do?
12
Mon, 01-16-2006 - 12:29pm
hey everyone, i happen to have the day off today because of the Martin Luther King holiday and the school usually has it off but they had been striking and have in session. my ds, age 16 and a friend slept here last night and his friend drives so they left for school this morning. Well, before leaving my son asked if i see a paper he needed for school and i did not. i happen to be going through laundry and found the papers. so i drove the 20 minutes to school to give him the papers and when they called into the class room they said he was absent that day and so was the kid he was with@# i tried their cells unfortunatly i found later the cells were left home. i asked to confirm the grandmother's phone number of the kid that i had and "because of confidentiallity blah blah bla..alls i could say is i hope these boys are ok. so i searched through the parking lot, no car., i drove around to the resturant in the area and did not see his car, i drove to the parks, notta...i am panacking..my husband drove to the home of the kid and no one is there...WHAT DO I DO NOW EXECPT BITE MY NAILS...what do you do, i am walking around w/my cell and i have gone through his cell phone and texted his friends and they are passing the word..they don't know where they are eighter. i am just sick. what do you do???

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 01-16-2006 - 12:39pm

Lots of hugs to you! It's obvious they skipped school, and if you are near any amusement parks, I would bet my last dollar that's where they went. I hope you hear from them very soon. When I was in high school, before cell phones, we skipped one day to go to the beach three hours away and all came back with sunburns. Idiots!!! Boy, was I in trouble for that.

I'm sure they're fine. But I'm also sure you will worry yourself sick all day, as would any of us. Let us know.

Laura

Avatar for heartsandroses2002
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 01-16-2006 - 12:54pm

I agree - I'm guessing they are probably healthy and fine, just foolish typical teens cutting school. I too cut school once (well, more than once) in HS and road the local trains all day (for only $1)! When I think of that now, I just have to roll my eyes...ride the trains all day? How stupid.

Who knows? By now the little network of friends you've started may have somehow alerted them and now they are hunkered down someplace sweating it out!

I hope you hear from them soon and that they are safe!

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-08-2005
Mon, 01-16-2006 - 12:57pm
there is no amusement parks around me..and yes i am sick, i can't stop sobbing. even to type. i can't function.i have a vet apt today and feel like cancelling it. my dog is not easy to handle at the vets and i just can't deal w/much right now. its' winter here so there's not much outside to do. i can't imagine unless they went to a computer game room for the day or the mall /movie. how do i address this w/him? i am sure he will come home and do i say "how was school?
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-08-2005
Mon, 01-16-2006 - 1:01pm
thanx for the hugs..i can't seem to catch my breath enough to type. .. i am sure they are ok but you hear all those horror stories ...i don't even want to think of it..his one friend just texted me and say she has never known him to skip school but on the other hand neither was I...have to admit only once i skipped and i got caught by the police ..we went to the local park and we were hiding in the bathrooms and the twp. police came in and got us. .. i'm still worried sick. neither of them took their cells which upsets me more...and i guess i probably got the other kid in trouble w/his girlfriend and maybe his grandmother cuz i left her a message.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-14-2000
Mon, 01-16-2006 - 2:01pm

Oh my - you and your dh must be beside yourselves with worry!

Pam
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-08-2005
Mon, 01-16-2006 - 2:06pm
will definately let him know that we were extremely worried, driving around every place...my husband driving all the way up to a different city to the other kid's home...his grandmother is even worried. i did not want to tell her but she called and caught me off guard...asked what was wrong i guess she can hear it in my voice and i told her...she is worried sick too and that will hurt my son...i think i will go to the school around play practice to see if he shows for that and from there take him to his Grandmother's to pick up what she baked for us and let him face her worreid sick look too...i don't think this it like my son. i guess it was a stupid move on his part...well, i am assuming they skipped...yes, i thought of calling the hospitals and the police..the school was of no help..at all, i was surprised that this did not raise a concern w/them and be more helpful.
Avatar for heartsandroses2002
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 01-16-2006 - 2:44pm

"and i guess i probably got the other kid in trouble w/his girlfriend and maybe his grandmother cuz i left her a message."

Don't allow this to ever get in the way of making sure your child is safe and sound. So what, he's in trouble with his granmother and GF? Good!

Aside from the fact that you're worried sick about them, thier behavior is extremely irresponible! Even if they did cut, the should have thier cells with them, I mean, that is the reason they have cells in the first place - so you can contact your son to be sure he's okay, whether or not he is cutting school or at practice or a friend's house.

Just be sure to take a few deep breaths when he gets home so you don't start handing out punishments too hastily. Be sure to match the punishment with the crime. Personally, I consider this to be fairly common, but definitely serious, and I'd probably give him extra chores and some grounding time to be sure. In our school if a kid is caught cutting it's mandatory 3 hour night detention.

Hang in there.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 01-16-2006 - 2:51pm

my son is a senior this year and has done his share of skipping. The school could care less; they told me they have to focus their limited resources on the younger kids and, since he is of age to drop out, they wont bother to confront him(actually the attendance dean assured us he would have a 'man to man' talk with him after we expressed continued concern and it STILL didnt happen)

They did, however, show us his records and I would request a written copy of his attendance to verify that this is indeed an oddity for him(because you may never know any other way)

I can see the boys' rationale. Its MLK day-they SHOULD be off but the dang teachers screwed it up with their strike-many kids may not show up anyway either because they want to respect the day or because parents are confused.

So, heck, lets take the day off and no one will even notice

The cell phone thing is odd-I admit that.

But they could be at someones home-perhaps someone not from the regular crowd-and I wouldnt count on the messaged friends being honest-they might know and be covering

Be sure to let us know when he is home safe

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-16-1999
Mon, 01-16-2006 - 7:33pm

By now I hope your DS is home, safe and sound.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-07-2005
Mon, 01-16-2006 - 8:36pm

Way more than 60 years!

My great-aunt used to tell me stories of skipping school, running from the police in her dad's car, hiding in the woods, getting busted by the cops, losing her license for a month and hiding it from her parents, getting busted again by dad.....she also scandalized the family by moving alone to a city several hundred miles away to take a job as the first woman to work in a factory!! (she stayed for over 50 years)

She turned out fine! She is in the latter stages of altzheimers now, though, and I miss her stories..

I also wouldn't come down too hard on a good kid who's skipped for the first time.

zz

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