cell phone

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-17-2006
cell phone
4
Thu, 09-06-2007 - 12:42am

Hi everyone,

I need your help. My son(13), I gave him a cell phone for emergency reasons. The phone was to be used for him to call me or for me to call him. He commutes between two homes. He is a very smart kid. 4.0 GPA, taking high school classes as well as college courses. He attends a "gifted" school so he will not be with his Jr. High School friends through his high school years. He gets up at up at 6:30a.m. Bed time is 9:00 p.m. He is very good at not going over his minutes and Doesn't send text messages (I check bill online).

Question:
Should I extend bedtime to allow him to use his cell phone after 9:00 p.m. to talk to his friends for free? if so, what time should bedtime be?

His argument is ...he only speaks to his friends Now on Fridays, Saturdays, and Sundays (free weekend minutes). He does well in school so staying up one hour more won't hinder him. And he gets up every morning without any complaints.

My argument is ...that he is 13 yrs old. He needs his rest to be ready for school. So I want him in bed (hopefully asleep)by 9:00p.m. Monday - Thursday. School is important to me and staying up past 9:00 p.m. will possibly hinder him. And he does hang out with his friends on weekends as well. I do the car pooling.

We have no home phone as we are hardy home, so his only means of communication is via cell phone.

Am I being to controlling and strict??? He is a star student but he is only 13 yrs. old.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-14-2003
In reply to: saved2003
Thu, 09-06-2007 - 7:25am

I don't think you're being unreasonable about his bedtime because it is critical for a child his age to get adequate sleep. 9 hours is exactly the right amount of sleep for him and it is terrific that you are ensuring he gets the sleep he needs. However, it is also extremely important at his age that he have the ability to socialize. Socialization is one of the most important aspects of psychosocial development during the teenage years. I would suggest that he be allowed to make phone calls after school and before bedtime. If you can invest in a home phone or extend your cell phone plan in order for him to be able to contact his friends at a reasonable hour and for reasonable amounts of time (not hours on end), I personally think it is worth the investment. Text messaging plans are usually only $5-10 a month as well.

Bottom line: I wouldn't sacrifice sleep in order for him to socialize on the phone, but I would do my best to either get a home phone or extend my current cell plan so that he could reasonably socialize via phone during after school hours.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2005
In reply to: saved2003
Thu, 09-06-2007 - 7:34am

Personally I get agrivated when my son gets calls that late at night and I make him tell the caller he isn't allowed to take calls after 8pm. My son is also a gt student. He's 13 years old and a high school freshman this year but for us it's not so much a matter of lost sleep that I worry about, it's the lack of respect. Personally I don't find it respectful to be calling someone that late at night unless it's an actually emergancy.

We got a call at 9:30 at night last night. My first thought was "who on earth is calling me at this hour". Second was that it was a family member and there was an emergancy. Turned out to be dh's sister calling us from overseas and it was important (though not an emergancy), she still needed to talk to her brother for some moral support. She wasn't sure if he was working overtime or not and wanted to call late enough to make sure he was home before placing an international call.

stacy

Avatar for weberdns0
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-25-2000
In reply to: saved2003
Thu, 09-06-2007 - 7:55am
We have a no phone for social use after 9:00 PM rule.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-13-2004
In reply to: saved2003
Thu, 09-06-2007 - 8:34am
Are your sons friends limited to after nine free calls also?
Why not have your sons friends call him? Free incoming. He could call them. Let it ring once and hang up. The friends phone will show his number as missed. They can call him back. No charge.