Change in daughter's behavior
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|Tue, 10-07-2003 - 2:49pm|
My main concern is that this behavior seems targeted at me. I even told DD I felt like I'd done something wrong but I couldn't know what it was unless she told me. She said said, "I know." She won't elaborate. Something, something is going on with her, but I have no concrete idea what it is. I really don't think it's drugs. She has always been an introvert, happy to be on her own, but she does have a few close friends. I always thought I was giving her space by not prying too much, but now she feels she has to shut me out. It really, really hurts as our relationship has always been good, respectful, not best-friends close, but I was always there to listen to any of her concerns. Sometimes she won't even respond to my "goodbye" when she leaves for school in the morning, or when I say "hi" in the afternoon, she'll mutter "hi" but not even look at me. She had been that way with her dad but seems to be talking more to him now.
I don't know how much to push her. For example, the book recommended by the therapist. DD said it was just a suggestion, not a requirement. I secretly bought the book but my DH says don't make her read it, don't give it to her just yet. Something about making her feel she has control or a choice in reading it. Yet I was led to believe the therapist did want her to read it. I think it would help so much if she would, but I guess she's being stubborn. Should I push it or let it go for now (let her answer to the therapist)?
Also, how much should I try talking with her? I do try to keep an informal, lighthearted tone, commenting to her on little things when she's in the room, etc. But what I really want to do is shake her, yell at her, plead with her to "let me in!" Is her behavior typical of depression? I'd say sometimes she does seem depressed, but when friends call or she's at school with them, she seems her normal self. It's hard, too, thinking if they're "sick" that you can't get mad at them or rock the boat too much (the eggshell thing here, I guess), so I'm having to deal with that. DH did get in her face the other night and tell her to clean up her attitude and get back in the family or the computer would be off for one month (she spends time online and doing computer artwork, which she is really, really good at). She seemed to actually take that rather well, but I don't know how she'd react to me getting angry with her.
If you've ever had a depressed child, how do you deal with it? How much do you push? Do you just let the therapist take over for awhile? Again, should I give her that book even though she hasn't expressed an interest in wanting to read it? I know I have many questions. Any insights or advice would be greatly appreciated. DH says I over-analyze but this is my daughter, I just can't ignore her behavior, and even he agrees something seems different with her. I want to help, but I don't know how! Thanks for listening.