child molestion
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child molestion
| Thu, 07-26-2007 - 9:59pm |
My son was present when a neighbor(a 10 year old boy),molested his 6 year old female cousin. The story my son told me had a lot of detial and made sense. My sons story never changed,so to me it sounds true. it occured in a nieghbor's basement, three boys were present my son(9),the molestor(10), the molestor's male cousin(5)and one girl cousin(6). The parents of the molestor called my husband six days after it happened. They said that they went to the basement, they didn't say why they went. They were not very detailed about what occured or why they were suspicious.they said they asked the children what happened in the basement.And all the children,except my son(who said nothing),replied that my son had pulled his pants down. That was thier whole story about what had happened in the basement. So when I approched my son,I said to him, "I think you may have made a mistake in (soandso's) basement. Your a kid and you're going to make mistakes. I love you no matter what. I'd like to help you learn (etc.)"I asked my son what everyone was wearing, bathing suits or regular clothes. Because I remebered they were wearing bathing siuts that day.He said they wearing bathing suits.He said he didn't pull his pants down.He said (soandso)tried to pull his pants down, but he was wearing underwear under his bathingsuit(which is typical of my son).My son said (soandso)told them to go down to the basement. He told them to go under a blanket. (Soand so) told them about his plan and that they should take their clothes off. My son told him that he didn't want to do that.The molestor made a bed on the hockey table. My son said most of the time (soandso) laid under the blanket with the six yearold girl. (so anso)had his bathing trunks off and had taken the girl's one piece bathingsuit off.My son said that ,"The grossest thing was when (soanso) kissed the girl's weiner." The molestor also pulled the boy cousin's pants down too. My son said the boy cousin layed on the girl cousin for a short time and just kissed her on the mouth real quick.My son said that most of the time he was beating up a toy story doll with the boy cousin.I want to call the athorities , but my husband is afraid to ,because the other children may accuse my son of pulling his pants down. Also we are new in a community that is mostly LDS, and we are not. I am concerned about the same thing as my husband, but I also think all the children involved slould be helped, even the molestor.I think I will feel bad forever if I keep my head in the sand.Well , what do you think?

What a horrible thing to experience. As a person who was molested as a child, I think someone needs to be told. I was molested when I was probably about 6-7 and never told anyone until I went for counseling in my later 20's. So I lived with a horrible secret for 20 years and tried to deal with it myself. And I didn't do a very good job of it or I wouldn't have been in counseling.
There are a few things here that need to be thought about,
1) Sounds like your son is telling the truth, he has the details right. There is way too much detail in his story for it to be made up, when the others said it was only the pulling the pants down thing.
2) Where did this other boy learn about "kissing the girls weiner" obviously he learned it somewhere, kids don't just do that without seeing it or having it done to them. So something is wrong here.
3) This little girl is dealing with some things that she shouldn't have done to her and needs to know that no one should be doing this to her.
4) The boys need to know this is wrong too. To do it or have it done to them.
5) If this little boy is not stopped he is going to grow up to be even worse, he needs some real help. Who knows if he is just doing what was done to him, or if it is something that he saw on a movie, in a book, saw his parents or order kids doing. Who knows where it came from, but something needs to happen.
If you don't feel comfortable going to the police, please go to your doctor, pastor or an educator that you know. They will know where to go and report it and how to take care of it.
Unfortunatly, your son was there and he will probably have to talk to some people and tell them his story. If he can talk to someone now about the whole thing I think it would be way better than waiting for him to get older and deal with it. Things that we think kids are dealing with sometimes aren't dealt with at all. Maybe he could talk to the dr. or pastor.
But I do think for everyones sake this does need to be reported. I know what you are saying about being new in the community, but as you said could you go on and not tell someone about it and just forget it, I don't think so. Please do tell someone.
Kristie
i agree with other posters, find someone to report it to. these are all children, and it should not be allowed to continue. if it is not reported, that girl's parents are going to believe what they want: a non-family member did something, and then it will happen repeatedly to her, and worse. report it to someone, call and see if you can find an anonymous line to report it to, then no-one knows who did it. your son will be questioned, but so will all of the kids. and hopefully all will receive help. who knows, the boy who did the molesting might be a victim of someone else, as this does go in a cycle of repeating to others what was done to you if not dealt with. you need to see about your son some councelling, at least short term, to deal with what he saw.
hugs and best wishes to you
sallie
I would immediately report this incident to Children's Aid or your version of it.
But PLEASE do not call a 10-year-old child a molester. The child is most likely a victim himself and needs help. He is acting out what he has experienced.
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Thank you for posting that. I am not sure where playing doctor ends and where 'molestation' begins. 10 is so young and 9 is only a year younger. This is a tough call for me; Im glad I am not the one having to make the decision.
The boy could have seen this in almost any R rated movie as well and be acting it out. There are many possibilities in my mind but the OP needs to do what she can live with.
Oh my...I have to agree. My first thought, was relax, this happens with kids being curioius, but then I read some from OP's who responded about being molested as children and it continuing. I don't really know what the call is here. Good luck to you all,
Julie
You must speak to someone immediately.
Children are taught (by parents, by teachers, etc.) that there is "good touching" and "bad touching." There is no playing doctor at 10 years old. A 10 year old knows what is appropriate and inappropriate when it comes to touching genitals.
This 10 year old boy was probably molested himself--and therefore is repeating the behavior. A short story:
About 4 years ago, a young man (14) was molested by a 22 year old man he considered a "family friend." The 22 year old man went around bragging about it, the young man's parents found out, and charges were pressed. The 22 year old man claimed the 14 year old had "asked for it." He did, however, confess to the action. Thinking he would go to jail (as bad guys are supposed to do), the young man told his whole story to the police - the molester's story was identical. It went before a grand jury, and they did not indict.
(now, at this point, lest you say "well, then, he must have been innocent," a jury of 12 people acquitted OJ Simpson. The court system is not perfect).
On with life. This 14 year old boy has had to encounter his molester on several occasions - as they travel within the same social circles. He has lost friends who feel he was "just trying to get someone in trouble," and he has suffered great discomfort (as have his parents) when forced into social settings with this man.
The moral? Since that time, no less than 12-15 people (teenagers AND adults) have come forward to identify how this man has caused them some sort of personal discomfort in the past - including molestation. Had ONE of these people come forward 4 years ago, this man might be in jail - or at least might be identified as a predator.
They all regret it - because they see that it will happen again.
They were worried that THEY would get in trouble. That the neighborhood would condemn THEM. They were worried about everything except the one thing they should have been worried about...
The child.
Please, have your son speak to your physician - or minister - and repeat his story. This will only get worse.