church and youth groups

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-28-2007
church and youth groups
19
Sat, 09-08-2007 - 5:08am
My children were christened and made their Communions and used to go to church. My parents became terminally ill and visits from my children became the highlight of their lives. As circumstances were, I had to make a choice of letting my dds spend Sundays with their grandparents which meant no church, or with us and church. I chose letting them be with their grandparents. I don't regret that in the slightest. But now it's time for church-going again, as my parents have passed on. I was wondering if your children go to church every Sunday where there is a Youth Group. One Mom who is a friend lives in Texas and said she chose their church because of the Youth Group there and that it was a wonderful experience. Since we just moved to a new town, we will be choosing a new church in this area. We are all comfortable with any Christian church just about. We just believe in being good--and like people from all religions if they are kind people. I was just wondering about Youth Groups. They don't seem big in our area. I never heard a Mom here or in our old town talk about one. But I was wondering about other families. The Moms on this board are very thoughtful parents, who don't take parenting casually, which I really appreciate! Thanks so much as usual for any responses you may have! I realize they say never talk about religion or politics, but I would like to know more about youth group experiences if anyone doesn't mind sharing.

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Avatar for bookwormmom
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-22-2003
Sat, 09-08-2007 - 8:51am
My children are both confirmed members of our church. We belong to a Presbyterian church and although we don't attend ever Sunday, we are involved in the church. Kelsie has never been one to participate in any groups, but has gone to some of the youth group activities. Jaryd has been involved in more than Kelsie and done more things with groups in chruch, but doesn't always attend. It all depends on what they are doing. He does have some very nice friends who he socializes with at church and so does Kelsie, but they haven't really brought them outside the church environment.
It's kind of weird. There are a couple guys that Kelsie sees at church and they talk and have a great time together in class etc. but get them in school together and they barely say hello to each other.
Unfortunatly the kids Jaryd was confirmed with last year don't go to the same school as he does.
I'd say, look for a church that you all like and go from there. Youth groups aren't huge in our area but they are there and a lot of the kids in the churches do go to them.
Good luck finding a home church that you love,
Kristie
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Avatar for jbgattuso
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-29-2003
Sat, 09-08-2007 - 9:38am

I would pick your church based on where you are comfortable :) I am in Texas and yes Youth groups are very popular. So much so that many kids pick the church for family's based on where their friends go to youth group. Now, as great as I think it can be, so many of the kids going do it for purly social reasons. We did this and left a church that we had been at for 11 yrs. We thought that it was important that the kids were happy.....wrong......they moved on from that youth group, didn't really care for the church either, so now we sit, without a home church and we haven't really found where to go :( You know, leaving the church we were at caused some tiffs :( so it is uncomfortable to be there now....I am rambling a bit, but I wouldn't put too much into youth groups....especially if your not even in an area that they are "big".

Good luck :)

Julie

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-29-2004
Sat, 09-08-2007 - 10:42am


Church youth groups are not that popular here so I have no words of wisdom.

I would however pick the church based on your core beliefs first. If it has a youth group, great.

There are so many variations on the "theme"; one Christian Church is not the same as another. For example, there is a big difference between Roman Catholic, Baptist and United. They are Christian but have different "takes" on Jesus's teachings.

Good luck

Avatar for suzyk2118
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-30-1997
Sat, 09-08-2007 - 10:51am

ITA about many going for social reasons only - I was raised Catholic but the youth groups I attended (back in the day!) were Presbyterian, Methodist and then Lutheran, with each of my respective best friends at the time. And I never felt uncomfortable or forced to 'change' - it was for fellowship and friendship and it was great, regardless of faith. JMHO.

Sue

Avatar for jbgattuso
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-29-2003
Sat, 09-08-2007 - 11:09am

"never felt uncomfortable or forced to 'change' - it was for fellowship and friendship"

I didn't mean to imply that anyone made our children feel as if they had to "change" I just was saying that we actually changed churches (our bad). And "fellowship and friendship" is exactly what I meant by "social" reasons....I was implying that the OP should choose her church based on her beliefs, not the kids fellowship and friendship :)

Julie

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-14-2000
Sat, 09-08-2007 - 1:04pm
We're active in our United Methodist Church (I even work there part time as the admin. assistant).
Pam
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-28-2007
Sat, 09-08-2007 - 1:13pm
Thank you for your response. I look back fondly to memories of church activities when I was a child. We didn't have much in my small farm town. So, the church provided a lot of activities for us--church suppers, strawberry festival, dances, roller skating in the church basement, visits to amusements parks, outdoor Bible studies--and most of all a faith to turn to especially in times of trouble. I want my children to have that. Thanks again.
Avatar for suzyk2118
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-30-1997
Sat, 09-08-2007 - 3:21pm
I wasn't inferring anything either - I just meant I was comfortable wherever I went!
Community Leader
Registered: 12-16-2003
Sat, 09-08-2007 - 6:04pm
I switched churches after attending the same shurch my whole life, I was married there, had the kids baptised, etc... It was so hard to do. We are Lutheran, and I had to really look at the Lutheran churches while we church shopped. We found a great church, a lot for the kids too. It is in the next town over and I have to pass 2 Lutheran churches to get there, but it is a fit for us. But, I would really ask some hard questions about the church'es core beliefs, they vary so much from denomination to denomination.

Ramona  Mom to 2 great kids and wife to one wonderful hubby since 1990!

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-19-2003
Sat, 09-08-2007 - 8:59pm

We have youth groups in our area. Our family is Roman Catholic and pretty much all the churches in this area have youth groups. The youth group at our church is active in the community, particpates in activities sponsored by the church, and right now are raising funds to send their members to the next World Youth Day.

We have another youth group at a nearby church that has a tradition of putting on the best Easter Passion Play you'd ever see. The kids love it. They do everything -- costumes, music, props, scenery etc and their shows are sold out three nights in a row each Easter season. The kids meet alot of other kids through the youth group and they get volunteer service credits which in our area you must have to graduate high school.

As much as they like them I'd say the influence on the kids has been mixed. The good kids go and meet other good kids and do lots of church activities and they're okay. The kids who maybe are a bit more "socially advanced" as you might say go there to meet members of the opposite sex and it ends up being a place to meet boyfriends and girlfriends!!! And just because they are in youth groups doesn't stop them from the typical issues of adolescence!!

My kids unfortunately are not too active in the church and I take some responsibility for that because I never really forced the issue. My attendance at church is inconsistent at best. My 16 yo dd was dragged to church for a while before her 8th grade confirmation but since then goes only for weddings and other family events. My 12 yo son has no interest whatsoever and is even questioning his own faith. I am attempting to get him to be open to attending church but he's waffling a bit...

Ah well...as you say...they are excellent kids, kind, loving, thoughtful, generous, sensitive, family-oriented, well-behaved so...that's all that matters right now. They both go to Catholic schools and are instructed in the faith so if they ever want to become more serious in it at least they have the background.

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