church and youth groups

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-28-2007
church and youth groups
19
Sat, 09-08-2007 - 5:08am
My children were christened and made their Communions and used to go to church. My parents became terminally ill and visits from my children became the highlight of their lives. As circumstances were, I had to make a choice of letting my dds spend Sundays with their grandparents which meant no church, or with us and church. I chose letting them be with their grandparents. I don't regret that in the slightest. But now it's time for church-going again, as my parents have passed on. I was wondering if your children go to church every Sunday where there is a Youth Group. One Mom who is a friend lives in Texas and said she chose their church because of the Youth Group there and that it was a wonderful experience. Since we just moved to a new town, we will be choosing a new church in this area. We are all comfortable with any Christian church just about. We just believe in being good--and like people from all religions if they are kind people. I was just wondering about Youth Groups. They don't seem big in our area. I never heard a Mom here or in our old town talk about one. But I was wondering about other families. The Moms on this board are very thoughtful parents, who don't take parenting casually, which I really appreciate! Thanks so much as usual for any responses you may have! I realize they say never talk about religion or politics, but I would like to know more about youth group experiences if anyone doesn't mind sharing.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-24-2006
Sat, 09-08-2007 - 10:24pm

I would definately agree on finding a church that mirrors, at least mostly, your core beliefs. Check out the official positions on things online.

That said, I do believe in youth groups. However, we have had a recent bad experience with one that was primarily social. It was as bad as school, clique-wise. Since we were new to town, we thought the best place to meet friends would be the large church. I'm not so sure of that anymore. Now we are looking around & encountering the afomentioned bad feelings. So be sure before diving in.

Good luck.

P.S. I do believe in a lot of fun activities for the kids. Fellowship is as important as study. It's just when social becomes "society" that things go wrong.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-02-2003
Sat, 09-08-2007 - 11:10pm

Funny you should ask - My boys are 17, 15 and 12 - our church has had a youth group in the past but it was never kid focused - it was many adults saying "the kids should/could do this or that" which anyone who knows teens know they want nothing to do with being made to volunteer - they want to be passionate about something. I actually met with my minister this week about our youth group because I am wiling to help but I wanted to hear from kids middle school to college age. I made up a survey and it will go out to the kids this week. Any who - my minister siad the youth groups of old have kind of gone by the wayside - just like the vice principal at our school said school spirit is down - across the board.

I think this is one of those things where you need to sit down and talk about it as a family. It may take shopping around to find a church that feels like home. It may be about having some conversations with them about faith - middle - high school students really like thinking about big questions and big ideas. So I would talk to them and ask them what they would like to find in a church - give them things to think about - like would they like to find a church with a woman preacher? Would they like a church that asks lots of questions? Are there any traditional things they must have in a church family? What kind of music? etc...

Good luck!

Courtney

There's a great big beautiful tomorrow shining at the end of every day... there's a great big beautiful tom

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2005
Sun, 09-09-2007 - 11:01am

Our church has a wonderful youth group. This is his first year in the High school youth group but his experiences with the Junior high group were awesome. He formed lots of friendships, really got some great opportutnities to serve, to dive deeper into The Word and was able to really share life with a great group of kids.

stacy

Avatar for weberdns0
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-25-2000
Sun, 09-09-2007 - 11:55am
Iin our old church my son left the youth group after being beaten up (long story but it was caused because of a feud between the youth group and the Boy Scouts....which my son was a member of both).
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-17-2005
Sun, 09-09-2007 - 10:50pm

In our town youth groups seem to be popular only with kids who homeschool, and we do have a rather large group of homeschoolers in our area.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Mon, 09-10-2007 - 2:08pm
My DD really enjoyed joining the youth group at the Congregational church, even though we are Catolic. Their youth group was open to anyone from any church. some of the activities were purely social, but they did have a lot of discussions about issues pertaining to young people. She even went to their one-week summer camp for two summers. I know she probably would have gone again this year but it was the year after high school and none of her friends were going. Now this camp involved daily Bible study and this is from a girl who does not like going to church. When we were taking her off to college, she was telling my DS, who is now in 6th grade, to make sure to join their junior high youth group next year. I think it was a good combination of a lot of kids who were enthusiastic, plus good ministers who could relate to kids, plus good advisors (one of her favorite teachers and his girlfriend were advisors).
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-17-2005
Mon, 09-10-2007 - 4:11pm
So what exactly is the congregational church?

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Mon, 09-10-2007 - 4:27pm
I'm not exactly the one to explain it since I was raised Catholic, although DH & I got married at this same church, since being divorced catholics, we couldn't remarry in the Catholic church. It is a protestant denomination. The big differences I noticed when I went to church there, other than that the ministers can be married (or be women) were that everyone dressed up for church and everyone sang the hymns. My friend is very active in her Congregational church, which has had 2 women ministers. That's one big diff. too. IN a Catholic church, you are stuck w/ whatever priests the diocese sends you. You can have great ones, but if you get a bad one, there's nothing you can do about it except wait for him to retire or get sent to another church. Also, you could have a great priest that everyone likes and he could get sent somewhere else. But in the protestant churches, since the congregation hires the minister, if he/she isn't doing a good job and people don't like them, they will just get someone else.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-14-2000
Mon, 09-10-2007 - 8:24pm
I was baptised in a Congregational church up in MI.
Pam

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