Cigarettes

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-14-2006
Cigarettes
5
Thu, 03-22-2007 - 9:12pm

DD15 has told me in the last couple of weeks that two of her bffs are smoking regularly. I asked her where they got the cigarettes and she said that it must be a store near the school. That makes me so mad - it's illegal to sell to anyone under 21, and they're supposed to check ID for anyone under 25. There was just a story locally about a NYPD sting using teens to catch store owners who sell to teens. I'm a pretty avid anti-smoker anyway, but this would bother me anyway - what are they thinking selling to 15/16 year old girls?!

And then we get to what the H*E*!! are these girls thinking?!?! I thought the days of smoking being "cool" were in the past! These are definitely the rule-challenging, on-the-edge friends of my DD; and she thinks the smoking is dumb (whew!), but it does not make me happy to hear about this.

DH says "she needs new friends" - forgetting the intense loyalty of girlfriends - I know she's not going to dump these friends, but she definitely less attached to them now than she was a year or two ago, and sees their limitations as friends and role models.

This makes us even more glad to see her in Jazz Band and Girls Softball - both activities that include kids who are not in her close circle. She's stretching her limits, and getting close to new kids at the same time.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-14-2000
In reply to: luv_l_and_s
Thu, 03-22-2007 - 9:33pm
Glad your dd is getting in with some different friends.
Pam
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-13-2004
In reply to: luv_l_and_s
Thu, 03-22-2007 - 9:41pm

Sounds like your DD has a really good head on her shoulders!
It's great she can talk to you about this.

My DD told me it's actually easier to get weed at her high school than alcohol or cigs. The stores here get busted and fined for selling cigs to minors. I've been in line at gas stations and have seen virtually everyone get carded who looks under 30. The kids DD knows that smoke get them from older siblings or friends.

Congrats to your DD. Not easy sometimes to navigate away from old friends that follow a different path.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-25-2006
In reply to: luv_l_and_s
Thu, 03-22-2007 - 10:26pm

Yeah...some new friends might do your DD good. If they'll smoke cigarettes, they'll soon be trying other stuff, too, if they haven't already. Stores should not be selling to minors, but I hear it's easy to get an older kid to go buy them--especially a guy would do it for some good-looking girls. (I just got carded tonight at the grocery store buying some wine--had to run to the car for my driver's license cuz I usually shop with just a cc in my pocket. I figure the clerk must be totally anti-alcohol. At 51, I have plenty of wrinkles to prove my age.)

Fortunately, smoking is one thing I haven't had to worry about with either son. Both find it repulsive. Make sure your DD tells her friends a lot of guys are turned off by it.

My DS17 might do well with some new friends too. Got home tonight and found he wasn't home. There's no school tomorrow, but DH had called and told him not to go out. DS is at the home of one of the other guys who got suspended, with about 5 other guys. I don't know the parents very well and I do know they've had numerous sleepovers there. I'm gonna go do a surprise pickup soon because he went with a friend who won't come home until 12:00/12:30, and we've got to leave early for St. Louis. We'll see if the parents are really home as DS told me they were. I hate having to do this, but we still haven't earned back our trust in DS & friends.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-19-2003
In reply to: luv_l_and_s
Thu, 03-22-2007 - 11:10pm

I grew up in a heavy smoking household as well. My dad was a smoker, all his brothers and friends were smokers and it was normal to see a cloud of smoke in the house esp when people were over. I smoked for a while too from maybe the age of 16 to 19. I wasn't as heavy a smoker as him -- maybe a pack a week -- but after a bit I got tired of it and easily quit.

When I think about why I smoked it was just a "thing" you know? It wasn't about being cool because we were hardly cool and it didn't make us cooler. Just something I tried and did with my friends. I did enjoy it somewhat but luckily never got to the point where it was a significant habit. My dad eventually stopped smoking after one of his brothers was diagnosed with cancer....

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
In reply to: luv_l_and_s
Fri, 03-23-2007 - 10:29am

I am lucky that my DD thinks it's gross to smoke. Of course, she can still remember that her grandma ended her life having to be hooked up to an oxygen tank due to emphyzema. You would think that noone would want to smoke, knowing the dangers, but then again, kids will try drugs, will drink too much, will drive too fast, knowing all the dangers of that too.

I do think it really depends a lot on what your friends do. I remember talking about this to my ex SIL, who finally quit smoking (again). I didn't smoke in h.s. and none of my friends did either. However, most of her friends smoked. I don't think it was to be cool, but more like something to do together.

I know that every so often I read in the town paper that they do a sting at bars and liquor stores about serving underage people, where they will hire someone who is 20 to try to buy liquor, but I don't remember them doing that w/ cigarettes.