college drinking

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-07-2007
college drinking
20
Sat, 07-07-2007 - 10:42am
I'm the Mom of an 18 year old transitioning to college searching for good suggestions for underage drinking consequences/punishment to be enforced at home....

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
In reply to: kat9753
Fri, 07-13-2007 - 11:54am

That's the way I was raised also. When we went on our class trip to Italy, I was 16. I had some drinks there but I didn't think it was any big deal. Some of the kids had never been allowed to drink and got very drunk. The same thing w/ college. It was legal but most of the time if there was a big party, all they would have to drink was beer, which I never liked, so I would bring my own can of diet soda. I really didn't care about drinking.

There is one college president who is campainging to bring the legal drinking age back to 18 because he says everyone is drinking anyway and that if it's not so underground, adults (older ones) would be better able to monitor it.

If it was legal, I really wouldn't care if my 18 yo DD drank, but now I have to worry about her being arrested for underage drinking. The big think I try to emphasize is don't drink and drive or get in a car w/ anyone who has been drinking. I will be so relieved when she is 21 and legal.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-16-1999
In reply to: kat9753
Fri, 07-13-2007 - 5:48pm

That is also the way I was raised, and the way DH and I have raised our kids.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-19-2003
In reply to: kat9753
Fri, 07-13-2007 - 6:06pm
I agree with you bunnierose. You can give a young man an automatic weapon, put the lives of others and himself completely into his hands and yet he can't have a beer. A man of 18 can enter into business contracts, run a small business employing himself and perhaps a few others...but can't have a beer. It seems totally wrong to me and is a throwback I think to puritanism and the age of prohibition. Here in Ontario, Canada, our drinking age is 19. And though yes, there is still a year to wait, it coincides somewhat with the entry of young people into post-secondary education and the work force and acknowledges that a 19 year old can graduate high school, go to work on a contruction site and should be able to go into a pub with his work collegues after work with no hassle....
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-16-1999
In reply to: kat9753
Sat, 07-14-2007 - 7:46am

Not only is it a throwback to puritanism and prohibition, but it's also a huge reaction to the baby boom generation IMO.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-19-2003
In reply to: kat9753
Sun, 07-15-2007 - 8:55am

Don't speak too soon bunnierose. I actually read in article in a fairly high profile newspaper from a doctor proposing there be some sort of "fat tax" because overweight people with health problems cost our (free) health-care system too much money...

...someone proposes this kind of measure but then we turn around and they are removing funding from our schools for physical education programs...

Avatar for sharo63
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-10-2006
In reply to: kat9753
Sun, 07-15-2007 - 9:38am

I am feeling fairly flame retardent this am so here are my added 2 cents...I think that there is a general shift in delayed maturity and responsiblity since the drinking age went from 18 to 21. What I mean is, it used to be that the stupid, immature mistakes that many, many teens make and the proverbial "wild" stage now lingers through the 20's but by 21, our generation had it "out of our system."

I can see possibly having stopped when the interim age was 19 - it gets alcohal out of HS. But my overall feeling is that if you can vote and go to war to defend your country, you should be able to drink a beer!

Sharon

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-16-1999
In reply to: kat9753
Sun, 07-15-2007 - 11:04am

No flames from this direction Sharon.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-13-2007
In reply to: kat9753
Sun, 07-15-2007 - 11:24am
I'm new here and the mom of 2 girls 17 and 15 and I toally agree with Rose. Both my girls have been allowed a glass of wine a beer or an occasional drink since they were 13 and it's not a big deal to them. They have learned how to be responsible with it. And I'm in Ohio, and like Rose, I will order my girls drinks if we go to a restaurant. And it's funny because neither of my girls goes to the regular weekend drinking parties that go on around here because they know irresponsible drinking leads to trouble. But on the other hand I won't serve their friends when they come over, unless the other parent thinks likes I do, and definitely no drinking and driving. I'm just one that tries to take a more practical approach to parenting and so far I have two healthy, happy and successful girls, keeping my fingers crossed that it continues. Now cigarette smoking ugh, thats a different issue lol. Barb
Mom to Allsion 4/11/90 and Jenny 3/6/92
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-25-2006
In reply to: kat9753
Mon, 07-16-2007 - 12:47am

Well, what we're telling DS17 who starts college (and turns 18) in August is that: 1) We pay for 4 yrs of college, no more; 2) he's an adult and can do as he chooses, but laws will be enforced; 3) he's unlucky, and if anyone gets caught, he will; 4) if he does not keep his grades up at MSU we know it will be because of too much partying; 5) if he cannot maintain a 3.0 (he graduated HS with a 3.8), he will come to live with us in VA and attend community college until he's ready to study.

We had DS24 sign a contract before he started college, and we'll do the same for DS17. I made it kind of fun, but serious at the same time. Spelled out his responsibilities for obeying the law, keeping in touch, maintaining his grades, paying bills, hours of studying, no cramming for exams, etc. Not sure if it helped, but it cannot hurt any.

At MSU's orientation a physician from the student health center shared some statistics from student surveys:

The avg. # of drinks in a night for those surveyed was 0-4. Students need to know not everyone binge drinks.

75% of students have sex, BUT 90% of those have just one partner. Students need to know that very few are "promiscuous". (Can't remember the condom-use stats, but the rate was lower than it should be.)

One mom asked, "If freshman are req'd to live in the dorms, exactly where are they having sex? It better not be in MY daughter's room. Aren't the RA's monitoring the students?"
Uh....exactly WHERE has she been hiding her head the past 30 years?

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http://www.pnhp.org/news/2009/october/meet_the_new_health_.php

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DQTBYQlQ7yM

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-16-1999
In reply to: kat9753
Mon, 07-16-2007 - 1:17am

<Uh....exactly WHERE has she been hiding her head the past 30 years?>>


LOL, That's a good one!

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