College - Motivation
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| Wed, 09-13-2006 - 4:17pm |
I see alot of posts regarding parental worry that teens will not get into universities based on grades, etc. Alot of pushing the kids in that direction, and I'm wondering whether this comes from: the kids or the parents. What is the motivation for your kids to go to college? Are they motivated by you, specific career goals, or just lack of anything else they can think of?
The reason I ask is that in my area, I see the pendulum clearly swinging the other way. No longer does a college degree guarantee more money. In fact, dh worked very hard while working full time to obtain his degree, but he makes a lot less money than his software engineer counterparts, most of whom do not have any degree at all. I've spoken with other parents about this and the general propensity among us is, "let's not tell the kids about this." There are alot of other jobs that do not require a university degree and can have great money potential: plumber, broker/realtor, ultrasound technician. Obviously, they require trade school but not college degrees. Increasingly, university costs are becoming prohibitive and let's face it, if the monetary rewards are not going to be there (examples: teachers, and some PhD's!) how can you justify the cost?
Opinions please: do you insist on college, and if so why?

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Excellent question. Not sure I have a great answer, but my guess is ds14 is planning to go as it just seems 'expected' at his school, plus dh and I certainly spent loads of time in college and grad schools and all dh's sibs have grad degrees (so it's just a family 'thing'). We have not told him he MUST go.
Both dh and I are the type who definitely don't do as well as some other jobs that don't require as much schooling (and ds knows it); I know a while back my much-younger-than-me dental hygienist definitely made more than I do (with my 2 MS degrees).
I think ds wants to go to college as he is interested in some careers that would have classes at the college level, but I doubt at least at this stage that he knows what he wants to do with himself in life (much less that he'd know if that will require college level classes).
Sue
I feel that college is an experience that helps to develop a well-rounded individual. Students learn so much more than the text in the books or the material covered on the tests. For instance, both my girls have had difficult roommate situations that they have had to figure out how to work through. Since neither one stayed home for college, they both have had to put into practice the budgeting skills I've been trying to teach them for years. This applies to both finance and time. They've had to learn that mom won't tell them when to eat - the cafeteria hours are posted and its up to them to get there. I think those lessons are invaluable.
Having said that coming from my mommy hat, let me put on my teacher hat. As an educator, I see alot of kids that are in college simply b/c mom and dad insist on it or that's just what you do when you get out of high school. Some of those kids are happy others are totally miserable and its a complete waste of time (mine and theirs) and money. They do not benefit from the experience or the education. In that particular case, I don't think kids should be forced but it should be their choice. However, as a mom, I think I would have a hard time accepting it if one of my kids choose not to attend college.
You are so right about education not equating to money. I have my MBA and make less than 1/3 of what I did before I got that degree but I am alot happier and have more time for other things (the more important things). Thankfully, my taste for steaks and lobster went away when the big salary did (LOL).
Neither DH or I have a college education. I wish I did; it's my biggest regret in life. DH positively hated school. He graduated hs mid-term, attended a 4-year university for one semester and dropped out. His DF then enrolled him in a technical/vocational school where DH excelled. He has been quite successful in the IT field every since. He realizes now, however, that it would be very difficult for him to achieve the same level of success in today's world under the same circumstances He feels he wouldn't even be able to get interviews without a college degree.
Both DD and DS are in the college mindset right now. I feel pretty positive that DD will continue on that path. She is very academically inclined and loves being in a learning/educational environment.
I can see DS becoming completely disenamored with school, like DH was. Actually, he almost already is, but it's not terrible just yet. He is taking a computer animation course as elective this year and absolutely loves it. I think he would much prefer to enroll in a program similar to the one DH was in, but because of DH's experiences and knowledge of a similar field, DS will most likely be going to college!
That's funny, b/c our experience up here in Silicon Valley is that they are still hiring computer geeks, no college degree required and long as you can 'hit the ground running'. And so many of them working in the industry right now do fine without them. Maybe it is changing, again, but I have to say that I don't see the monetary value behind a degree anymore, sad to say. I think it all depends on the field you are going into...
Interesting, because I managed to develop all the skills you are talking about by moving out of my parent's house with roomates, working, and making my own way in the world. It was a whole lot less expensive for my parents, let me tell you!
I do agree that there is value in a college education, unfortunately not money wise, necessarily. And when you have kids who struggle with LD and school is just so much harder for them than anyone else, I have to wonder if a trade school would be better.
I don't want to tell my kids they can't go to college, but they are going to have that motivation within themselves. I am also not going to pay for classes at a university which they can get much cheaper through the jr. college just so they can have fun learning how to get along with roomates and budgeting.
I do not insist on college... the thing I push the most with my kids is that they find a job that they enjoy that supplies them with adequate income to take care of my future grandbabies.
Dh and I are on opposite poles on this one which makes it difficult
I agree with you; my salary with a BS is an embarassment. I posted it once on the debate boards to make a point and pretty much stole the thread with people expressing shock and sympathy which REALLY wasnt my intention-I wanted to go back and delete the post!!!
And, although I am well over 40 and have made the choice to follow my husband, many of my coworkers are younger, free to move,have masters, and are making the same pitiful salary
Many of my coworkers have teaching degrees, even in Special Ed, and cannot find a teaching job(yep, Masters there too)
And, I have the LD kiddo you speak of. DH continuously talks about retiring when Blake graduates a 4 year college and I continuously remind him BLake is unlikley to attend college. Geez, at this point I am worried sick about getting him through high school(had the first failing call from the school today in fact)
But DH has a PhD and thinks he walks on water because of it at times
Compared to my salary, he does well, but no, he isnt making 6 figures and I dont anticipate he will before retirement
I anticipate my LD kiddo in some type of trade program-our community college offers several
I read the difference between a college degree and a trade 'degree' is a liberal arts education
I never thought of it quite that way but it made sense. A trade certificate will teach them what they need to do a job but isnt going to teach them to appreciate art, read poetry, or learn a foreign language. My LD kiddo cant even handle English!!!
Auto repair; computer repair; air conditioning installation or repair. Thats what I am thinking and he isnt saying anything but "I dunno"
I think the computer industry is slower in the Midwest than CA. Not as many jobs so they can afford to be selective and, right or wrong, a degree tends to be one of the selection criteria
Silicon Valley probably should be renamed Geeksville - lol! I think the difference is in the company. DH works for one of the big IT companies, up there with IBM, Sun, etc., and the hiring criteria may be a bit more strict. Also, DH's capacity is pretty specialized -- there are only 3 people at his level at his company. But even still, those in less specialized positions still need a degree to get an interview, according to DH.
I was taking some courses at our local community college last year and an Algebra teacher told the class that a college degree doesn't so much tell an employer how smart you may be, but rather that you had the initiative and stick-to-it-ivness to get through those four years and do well in subjects you may not necessarily have much interest it. kwim?
I understand your position, truly, but think as parents, we need to at least encourage a college education. I think it just puts our kids in a 'more hireable' position when they start looking for jobs later.
Not only have dh and I always encouraged a college education, our kids have grown up expecting that they will go to college. Of course, the motivation factor for them, doesn't quite seem to be there at this juncture. They are the ones who are going to have to put the effort in and make the grades, etc. There is only so much I can do, and believe me I do alot to help them! Some might even accuse me of "helicopter parenting" but in my case I do so b/c of their LD struggles and I only do it to avert absolute failure, not to make sure that they make a 4.0 GPA so they can make it into the elite university or whatever.
I certainly hope you are right in that it makes them more hireable, but I'm starting to doubt it. This is all coming from the extreme dissapointment we are seeing with dh and his own degree, which isn't helping him much when he makes less than these computer geeks with no degree. Does that seem fair to you? As you have seen, there are others here with the same issue.
You are right about the bigger IT companies, though. My dad retired from IBM and he had his degree. He always told us how he started (eons ago) making more money than several people who had been there for years, with no degree. I think what changed things here were the start up companies. Did you know that Bill Gates does not have his college degree? LOL.
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