This is completely off-topic, but Music's observation that

Avatar for sabrtooth
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-03-1999
This is completely off-topic, but Music's observation that
32
Fri, 09-23-2011 - 6:10pm

<<>> kind of touched on a discussion Rae & I had, when she crashed here with her ear the other day.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-27-1998

Few people will like my reply, but I believe that most marital problems are the result of couples not following the basic pattern set in Genesis 2:18-24. We are meant to leave our parents and form a new family with our spouse. If you go to the IL board, you will see that so many issues arise because one partner puts his/her family of origin ahead of the spouse in some way.

We're not meant to cut off ties from our families, but in order to make a new family work, we do have to make choices that don't include the extended family.

I am very close to my kids, especially my daughter, so I will find it hard to put this into practice when she gets married, but I know it's the right thing to do. DH and I do this for each other, and I think this is why we are happy together in spite of

Avatar for suzyk2118
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Registered: 07-30-1997

I guess I had a child because I enjoyed my childhood and family of 3 so much. DH had had serious heart issues so he wanted 0 or 1, and I was ok with 1 or 2 (since I was/am a happy 1), so one it was. I was always very close to my parents, even though I moved away at age 22 to go to grad school, then 300 miles away at 25 afterwards, for a career. DH is 3rd of 8, and was/is very close to his family, but neither of us let our separate families ever take precedence over our threesome.

I'd like to think ds19 will want to have us around, but he also hopes to live in California and I doubt we'd leave the midwest, nor would he want us to follow. His gf of over a year is very close to her family (in Chicago) so it'll be interesting to see what happens if they stick together. I wouldn't have much of a problem moving back to Chicago (left in '81) as all my relatives are there, but dh would have trouble because most of his family is here. But if it would bring us closer to ds and his future family, I could see us doing it. I'd love to be close to ds and grandkids in the future if he'd be willing.

Sue

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Registered: 08-08-2009

Ah, this is a tough one, for sure.

We were planning to have children about five years after our wedding.

Avatar for mahopac
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-24-1997

DH and I are each the youngest in our families - he's the youngest of 4, I'm the youngest of 5.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-08-2009

My elderly brother who turns 50 next year had a college friend with a heart condition.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-08-2009

Well, Mahopac, it's not so much unplanned as not planned for when it happens in our family. LOL

Only as you get older do you begin to appreciate your parents.

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Registered: 08-08-2009
PS: My guess is that when Rae's BF has one child, he'll want several. They grow on you. LOL As I said they make you more than complete.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-30-2003

I do agree with Music.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999

Oh no, I wondered what I said when I saw my name.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999

I do agree w/ your basic premise that the H&W bond has to come first and that the parents shouldn't be interfering after the kids are grown & married.

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