Concerned about DD's eating

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-14-2006
Concerned about DD's eating
17
Thu, 08-30-2007 - 2:45pm

I'm not sure if I need to worry about this or not.

As background - my DD16 was overweight from about age 6 until age 11 or 12. At 11, the pediatrician told us he was concerned. Through trial and error, we've found that the WeightWatchers program has the right amount of structure and flexibility for her and her lifestyle. In addition, she's made a concerted effort in the past 3-4 years to increase excercise, and she's gone from someone who could barely walk a mile with me to a really fit athlete (keeps up with DH in tennis, runs 1.25 miles easily, and is on Varsity Softball team). All this is good, and I'm so proud of her!!

She continues to talk about being "fat", but in reality she knows she's not.

What I worry about is does she eat enough? She was with my parents for two weeks, and I set my mom up to be a secret reporter - to see if I"m over-worrying. Mom says she thinks it's fine - that L is just someone who eats alot of veggies and has great self-control.

For anyone who knows WW - L's typical day is 15-17 points a day. By WW standards she should be closer to 20 or 22. Each "point" is roughly 50-70 calories - it's not a perfect relationship because it depends on fat and fiber, and veggies are "free". On a typical day, L eats

breakfast - WW english muffin, smart balance margarine, coffee wiht skim milk and equal
lunch - salad with fat-free dressing, water or diet soda
dinner - small portion of what cook, with attitude if it's too much pasta or cheese; salad or extra veggies

snacks may include - 94%fat free popcorn, Boca Burger (only the ones that are 80 calories or below), fruit, veggies

There is occasional variation here - she does eat sweets once in a while, but in small portions. I'm worried because it doesn't seem like enough food and not enough protein.

Whaddya think? And if you agree with me that it's not enough, how do I talk about it with her? I'm overweight myself, by 30 pounds or so, so I don't know if I have credibility with her about food issues! I've said I don't think it's enough protein, and she knows that I don't think it's enough overall, but it's hard to get further than that in the conversation. Yesterday she said she had been "shaky" during the day, and my first question was "did you eat today?"

Sorry this got so long.

I'm open to any and all input!
Sue

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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-30-2007
Thu, 08-30-2007 - 2:56pm

It sounds like your daughter is below even the WW 17 point level. If she's physically active, she is supposed to be eating more. To me, it does seem like early anorexia, especially the salad only for lunch. That's when she should be eating more, to get her through school and practice.

I have a friend that went through anorexia with her daughter. She said the best thing to do is catch it early, and jump on it. You're doing the right thing, being concerned. Take your daughter to the doctor and be in the room when they talk. She may need close monitoring for a while, but since it's early you may be able to get her off this track with no harm done.

Good luck!

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-21-2006
Thu, 08-30-2007 - 3:02pm

Well, how about a visit to your family doctor? You could mention your concerns, the doctor could do a blood test (or whatever it is that tells you if you are deficient in something), and then the issue could be addressed from a health perspective instead of being based on "what mom thinks".

Amelia

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-06-2006
Thu, 08-30-2007 - 4:20pm

Sue,

{{{{Hugs to you}}}} I too, think you should be concerned. As you may recall, W went from chubby pre-teen to tall, skinny teenager and there was a few months there that he showed several 'early eating disorders' signals. Pam has a Teen Eating Disorders board going and she has posted some good articles on the subject.

With W, he refused to eat breakfast, ate very little lunch, no after-school snack and very little dinner. He claimed he was just 'not hungry'. He was always tired, had a ton of headaches and was lethargic. He had just started to get taller and was a result, thinner. He was getting a lot of attention because of that and I truly believe he felt that 'thinner must be better'. Many things he said and did convinced me that he truly was 'dieting'.

I scheduled his regular check-up with the doctor and called to talk to her in advance. Talked to her about my concerns, his eating habits, etc. In years past, this was the same doctor who got on him for being chubby and thought he "looked great" and had "worked really hard" on slimming down. Even still, she did agree that he needed to add more calories into his day and offered some between meal, high-protein suggestions. I made sure I got him those things and helped make sure he 'remembered' to eat them.

Maybe it's time to schedule a doctor visit? Please keep us posted.

Julie

 

 

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-26-2007
Thu, 08-30-2007 - 5:43pm

Hey Sue :) I don't know much about the weight watchers program, but I will say that if dd seems healthy and happy, she might just be ok. Is she continuing to loose weight? I do think that all teen girls to a certain extent think they are fatter than they are. I guess because I always have to struggle with my weight (which I didn't as a teen) I wish I had better eating habits....and your daughters sound healthy to me. My best friend growing up was anorexic and believe me....she ate NOTHING, and when she did, she ran 10 miles afterwards. I would agree though, it couldn't hurt to chat with a doctor :) Keep us posted and I hope it doesn't worry you to death!

Julie

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-29-2004
Thu, 08-30-2007 - 5:49pm


The problem is that when you start to diet at such a young age, you set yourself up for a life-time of weight issues. Your daughter's diet is not adequate for a growing body and will
contribute, in the long run, to weight gain because of decrease metabolic rate.
Growing children should not be on a "diet" but should be on a healthy nutritionally balanced diet.

First of all, she should not be drinking coffee for breakfast and should under no circumstances be using crap like "equal". There is no nutritional value at all and artifical sweeteners are not good for you, at all. Her breakfast should be the largest meal of the day, with protein and fruit.

I agree with you. She isn't eating enough.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-16-1999
Thu, 08-30-2007 - 6:28pm

Willow, I think this is the best idea on this thread, and I've read all but #6.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-14-2000
Thu, 08-30-2007 - 8:10pm

Hey Sue - I definitely think this is something that you need to keep on top of.

Pam
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-14-2006
Thu, 08-30-2007 - 8:59pm

Thanks to everyone for thoughtful responses. I think a discussion with the doc and/or with a nutritionist would be a good route. Maybe she and I together to the nutritionist - me for weight loss, her for maintenance and enough to keep up with her level of activity.

Pam - your questions were interesting - here's what I think

- if her 'normal' type of english muffin isn't available? she might eat a regular one
- if we don't have any fat-free dressing in the house - she will have the dressing on the side and put just a little on her fork as she goes along
- if we tell her at the last minute that you are going out for supper at the local hamburger joint? She would only order a salad - maybe a veggie burger (soy protein, a good choice) if she's hungry (and has eaten well all day)
- if friends call and ask her out for ice cream at 8:00 at night - she'd probably go, would order a small (and enjoy it). She'd prefer to find light or low-fat ice cream if it's a choice, which it usually is.

Based on everyone's responses - and previous discussion with Pam - I think she doesn't have serious problems *yet* but that she's at risk. We're entering the junior year of HS which is a high stress time.

Again, thanks to all for your time and thoughts.

Sue

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-26-2007
Thu, 08-30-2007 - 9:10pm
My daughter's weight (like mine, poor genes) has gone up and down through her teen years. In her mind she is "fat" and constantly worries about her weight. Over the last 1-1.5 years she has become very aware of what she eats and limits herself to mostly fruits, veggies, very litle carbs, some protien. To me she doesn't seem to eat much at all and constantly worries about her calorie intake. Drinks only H2O. Excersises at the gym 1-2 hrs 4-6x a week again-I think in excess. Although I don't think she has an eating disorder she does CONSTANTLY worry about her weight. Gorgeous girl but very poor body image. Because of the stress/anxiety it was causing we decided it was time for her to see a therapist. We found someone who primarily works with teens. One of the things she suggested my daughter do was look at herself in the mirror every day and find one positive thing to say about her body and I've noticed she's begun to do that. We also went to see a nutritionist who told her she definitely was not eating enough and probably would have a very hard time loosing the 5-10lbs she's been trying to loose because her metabolism had gone into "starvation mode". She suggested a more balanced diet, more calories but low in fat. My daughter is nervous about it but giving it a try. To be honest for her this is definitely more of an emotional issue. I feel so badly about it. We are constanlty telling her how beautiful she is on the outside and especially on the inside. It really can be very difficult for young girls when they feel they have to be a certain weight/size.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-16-1999
Thu, 08-30-2007 - 10:03pm

I sometimes worry that my DD is too obsessed about weight too, because she's sure she's got a fat butt.

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