concerned re: sons older friends

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-12-2006
concerned re: sons older friends
2
Thu, 01-19-2006 - 12:59am
Thank you for comments regarding my last post, my son was having problems with a "potential girl friend" who is just a friend, for now. Anyway, he didn't want to talk about it with his Mom, it's hard for me to let go and let him work it out for himself. He is 16 and until now, we have been able to talk about most things. I have to realize that he needs to be alone at times. Hard with no other male in the household. This friend of his, also 16 years old seems to hang around alot of older kids, 19, 20,22 years old. I'm not sure if there is a parent there when my son is over at her house or not. I am trying to remember back to the days when I was 16 and don't recall if my mother always knew about who I was with. I did talk to my son about my concerns that there are older people at her house and that sometimes older kids think different; drinking, etc. He assures me that he would not do anything like that, but I am keeping an open mind. Am i being an over protective mother if I tell him he can't go to other's houses if there are older kids there and no parential supervision, or am I being unrealistic??? Help, no one I can really talk to about this. I just wish my son had more close friends his own age that he could do more with. I guess it really hit me the other night when he came home from bowling and had stopped at a friends house, who is 19. His comment when he came home was Adam, i don't think that is his real name, said that college is a waste of time. I am sure my eyes got big, my son has always talked and dreamed of going to college. Maybe this is just a phase. I need some advice. Thanks.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-14-2000
Thu, 01-19-2006 - 9:13am
I don't think you are being over-protective at all.
Pam
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-20-2005
Thu, 01-19-2006 - 10:29am

Several folks here think I am overprotective but I do not allow DD (17) to be at her friend's houses without parental supervision unless I've known that child and her family for a long time. She also has alot of older friends and this does put a crimp in her style. I tried allowing her to go to people's houses occassionally w/o parental supervision but when the cops showed up she realized that mom may be right (though she would never, ever admit it). I've noticed now that she doesn't ask very often to go places w/o parents present.