Convicted Felon at the Ripe Old Age of 19

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-07-2008
Convicted Felon at the Ripe Old Age of 19
19
Mon, 09-26-2011 - 5:01pm

I'm not even sure where to start, but I could use some feedback.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-16-2009
Mon, 09-26-2011 - 5:56pm

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-14-2000
Mon, 09-26-2011 - 6:36pm

Gentle hugs to you, Mona. What a horrible couple years you've been through. My youngest has made some pretty poor choices but so far (knock on wood) not to that extent. It's tough when they get to be over 18 as they are all of a sudden considered 'an adult'. Are you in touch with your ds at all? I don't have any btdt advice. Just make sure he knows you love him and are there for him. You can't force him to take his meds/get counselling but is there another trusted adult - friend or family member - that he might listen to? Hopefully you'll get some other advice here.

Pam
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-27-1998
Mon, 09-26-2011 - 8:24pm

I think you may need to consider that the fever he had with H1N1 might have caused some brain damage, which could account for his sudden personality change. I would definitely find another doctor who takes his medical history very seriously and maybe comes up with some creative solutions. If your son is bipolar, he will need to be on meds the rest of his life, but it is not uncommon for a patient to think he or she is okay, and then to quit. Happens all the time.

Avatar for mahopac
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-24-1997
Mon, 09-26-2011 - 9:30pm

OP, I am so sorry you are going through this.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Mon, 09-26-2011 - 10:48pm

As I understand it, he hasn't gone on trial yet for the 2nd offense?

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-05-2005
Tue, 09-27-2011 - 9:11am

I also have no BTDT advice, but am sending sympathy across the internet. I also wonder if his medical situation contributed this- either in a direct way as was suggested, or an indirect way (no brain damage, but the near-death experience causing depression, etc). I wonder if his lawyer can order some medical tests run, or at least suggest them, to check for the possibility of brain damage.

Is there anyone in your ex's family who might be able to step in and help your ex understand the severity of the situation? I have had a bitter ex and I know how hard it is (and yes, he also would have probably done the opposite of whatever I suggested and routinely tried to convince the kids that life was beer and skittles with him and miserably tyranny with me). Your son may also be very bitter about being left in jail, though I completely, totally get why you did that. Our oldest had a lot of mental health issues in HS (she was diagnosed as bipolar II but it now seems very manageable without meds). There were definitely times that we were ready to drop her off at the door of the hospital because we couldn't deal with her (I imagine that's how you felt when you found out he was in jail) but perversely, those were the times she was most scared and needed us most. It's a very tough balancing act and you have gone through so much in the last few years that I am guessing you're at the end of your rope.

I wish I had some briliant advice. :(

Feel free to come here and vent at least. There are many good listeners.

Theresa

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-07-2008
Wed, 09-28-2011 - 1:54pm

Thank you for the feedback and well wishes, I really appreciate it!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-13-2009
Thu, 09-29-2011 - 5:23pm
I'm sent you a pm.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-13-2009
Thu, 09-29-2011 - 5:29pm
Ok, it didn't go through and I don't understand why.

It says you have two names, but they are both the same. Told me to pick one. I picked one, then the other, then both. But no go. It says my choices are ambiguous names!

Whatever!

Do you want to PM me (it can be blank if you want) and I'll reply with the one I already have written?

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-08-2009
Thu, 09-29-2011 - 10:01pm

Dear Mona,

My you are on a roller coaster ride and I with many others reach out to you with hugs and love.

I too have NOT BTDT.

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