Coping with School Burn Out
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| Wed, 02-28-2007 - 6:30pm |
Spring break is still more than a month away and my kiddoes seem to really be suffering from school overload.
DD in particular, ALWAYS has a ton of homework. Doesn't matter if it's a school night, weekend, vacation (as in Christmas break) or any day off, there is this homework cloud hanging over her head and it seems she can't ever really relax because of it. When she does blow off a weekend day, she really pays for it during the week with a lot of late nights. Now she is an admitted procrastinator, and I do believe she could probably manage her time a bit better, BUT ... she is really running out of steam.
DS has never liked school, even under the best of circumstances and being in all honors classes this year has put him in an even worse frame of mind about getting there each day. He's much better at organizing his time and getting his work done than DD is, but he's about at the end of his rope too and has told me several times "NO honors classes next year!"
Mentally, they are both exhausted!
Any ideas on how to help them get through the next 4-6 weeks until Spring Break? I hope and pray that there won't be any vacation assignments!

(((HUGS)) to both of your kids - what a terrible feeling! My only thought is to help both of them break work into manageable chunks, so it's not overwhelming. Especially C, the procrastinator. The cloud hanging over her head can dissipate a little if she has a concrete idea of what's left to do. And then they might not feel so bad about taking a break at night or on the weekend.
I don't know about "no honors classes", but this is a good lesson for your DS on what kind and amount of work he can manage well. It's a hard lesson to learn, but a good time in school to learn it.
Sue
Thanks Sue! At this point, I would just for us to be able to go somewhere for spring break and not have to think about homework for even a second! This gets tiresome for me too.
C had an early dismissal yesterday and when I picked her up, she said she didn't 'have any homework tonight', which translates to 'I don't have any homework due tomorrow'. There was still homework, it just didn't have to be done last night.
I wonder about honors classes in other parts of the country. Here, in our school district, 'honors' doesn't mean 'more interesting and/or challenging work' it just means 'more work' and I can see how W gets tired. This year, the school lumped all the high achieving kids in all the same classes (except elective) all day long. They work off exactly the same curriculum as other students, they just get more work. For example, students in regular classes might get a math assignment to do the 'odd problems on page 79'. The honors kids get the same page assigned, but have to do all of the problems, not just some of them. It seems backwards to me ... obviously the honors kids grasp the material more quickly, so why bog them down with bunches of repetitive assignments? Let them move on to something new. The one assignment that positively killed me was them having to write out all their spelling words in heiroglyphics (sp?) during the study of Egypt. ??? Yeah it was kind of fun but nothing more than busy work and imo, a waste of time!
Sorry ... got a little hot under the collar there. Is this typical of how honors classes are? Just a 'keep 'em busy' methodology?
Julie
Well, this is a constant problem with my 17dd, a senior in HS, as she's always struggling to keep up. I do notice it in my older college student dd19 - in fact, her school doesn't even get a Spring break!! She is coming home this weekend, sans bf and others, to just get a little R & R.
When my girls were a little younger and burnt out on school with projects and masssive hw, we made sure that we had downtime each evening. No tv after dinner. We'd either play with play dough, read sone books, or each dd would take a nice hot bath and then just chill out till lights out time - and yes, from when they were real little to now - as teens. We still play with play dough, using cookie cutters and play tools and it's just fun & so relaxing. When the weather is warmer, we'll go outside and play frisbee or catch with a softball or go down to the park to hit some tennis balls or take the dogs for a walk at the nearby reservoir. We have found that just a little exertion outdoors regenerates us all. Our girls would grown about it at first, but you can see they have a spring in thier step afterwards and they seem less stressful.
We've never been too keen on using the tv as means to wind down, but sometimes the right DVD is perfect - something lite and funny, but not obnoxious or gross or scary, kwim?
School is important but it's not all there is to life and they need to find appropriate ways of unwinding and decompressing.
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I dont know if it's related to how things are now or related to high school
My older 2 tested as gifted and experienced an awesome pull out program in elementary school. If I had any doubts about wonderful it was, I am reminded everytime they reminisce about their earlier school years. 9 out of 10 times it is a memory from this program.
But high school was EXACTLY what you described-they didnt move faster in advanced classes-they didnt go more in depth. They just did more homework. And it is so counterintuitve. Make the kids who get it the easiest do the most practice? Huh?
Both mine dropped out of the honors track in math after 9th grade. DS1 stayed in English throughout and ds2 until his senior year. He also took a couple 'kid recommended' honors or AP classes-government, for example. The teacher came highly recommended and made the class interesting.
Was it the right decision or the wrong? I have no idea. Neither of my kids are motivated. So, would forcing them to remain in those classes have inspired them? Or would they have been in danger of dropping out? I have no way to know.
I have a lot of thoughts on why things are the way they are today ;) Could ramble for hours
On teh flip side, my third child who has severe LDs benefits from the current train of thought. He only gets passing grades by doing the busy work; he cant retain teh info long enough to pass the tests. It is how he will get through high school(I pray)
I tried to have him in the votech program-filled out the little 'next year classes' thing for him. Nope, that is only offered at the other high school. We do have a school to work program at ours regarding computers but I wanted him to be exposed to the 'trades' as well so he had more career choices
I may fight it next year-they can stick him in a mini bus and get him there, if need be!!!
But....this is what is going on. Everyone has to meet the same requirements so they have to find a way to make it 'doable'.
OK, off my soapbox....
I'm so sorry your kids are suffering from school burnout. I don't have any BTDT advice. I mean, my kids just get sick of school, and teachers, and all that, but it's not true burnout.
As for the honors classes....Can't help you there either (by now, are you wondering why I even bothered to reply??? LOL) Neither of my kids were/will be in honors classes. :)
But, something I found out back when ds20 was a junior. Our school offers 3 levels of degrees, if you will. Basic, a mid-level, and an excellence (those aren't the names of them, but hopefully you get my drift). Back in 7th grade, they have us "pick" the graduation level we want our kids to acheive. And believe you me, they really *push* that highest one. Well, of course, being the perfect parent that I am (!!!) I picked the highest one and started D on this track. Well, by the time he was a Jr, we found out that *most* colleges around here(we're not talking Ivy league, here, just your basic, state-supported college--nothing fancy) don't look at the "degree" you have, but mainly your grades in what you did take. In other words, a B in Honors English didn't really count for more than a B in regular English. In fact, in our own HS, it didn't count for any extra either. If we have two students (and this has happened) vying for Valedictorian and one student has a 3.98 in all honors classes and the other has a 3.99 is regular classes...the 3.99 receives the Valedictorian honors and scholarships that go with that. Sad, huh? (As an aside, the school said they were going to rectify that, but who knows if they did.) So, that right there was *plenty* reason not to go with Honors classes.
Now, take all of that in with the understanding of that's the way it is in MY neck of the woods. Plus, I'm talking about your average/slightly above average kid wanting to go to the local college. I understand that kids have to apply for colleges and wait for acceptance letters and there may be way more to it than I'm aware of. You know me, I'm the resident country bumpkin on this board. :) We never did any of that with ds20. We knew by the end of his Jr year, he would be going to a Jr college to start out.
All of this to say, if your kid isn't getting any thing out of his Honors classes, then I would have him ditch them altogether (unless he wants to apply to MIT or something!)
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Exactly what I was trying to say! It makes no sense.
DS is just 13 and in 7th grade so the high school stuff hasn't even started yet. He spent a huge part of 4-6th grades reading books of his own choosing and doing 'extra credit'. Huh? An A is an A is an A, and doing extra credit (read: busy work) every week doesn't much change that, does it?
In grade school, there were some pull-out 4-6 week programs that met once a week. After the first seesion, when DS learned that if he left class to attend a GATE class, he was still expected to complete the classwork he missed as homework. He went that one time and that was that.
Last year, the GATE program classes where scheduled after school. Yeah, like my school hating kid is going to want to stay after school for another 90 minutes for MORE WORK! Needless to say, I found the permission slips for those programs crumpled up at the bottom of his backpack, well after they were over and done.
The irony of this stuff is that DS has a very good buddy who has struggled mightily in school. In fact, the two boys met when the friend was in DS' 1st grade class for the 2nd time. So now, in 7th grade, the friend is in very remedial classes and having a blast because he gets to go on very cool field trips, do the 'more interesting' and 'hands on' activities and work that makes 'learning fun' -- as opposed to sitting in a classroom doing worksheets ad naseum and listening to teachers talk, which is what the honors kids do. So DS says 'why do I 'get' to do more work and be bored, just because I'm smart?'
This is the kid I have considered home-schooling since 1st grade. We talked (briefly) about home school this year and trying to get through the 7th & 8th grade curriculum in one year, so he could start high school next year. (Aside from the homework issue, DD absolutely loves the high school she attends. DS sees how happy she is and thinks hs will be better than anything he's experience education-wise so far so is quite anxious to start high school.) I think we could have done it, but DS has a few really tight buddies he would miss seeing every day and so we vetoed that idea pretty quickly.
Well, I'm glad you got off that soapbox 'cuz it was my turn! lol
Thanks for your thoughts. If it comes down to keeping a kid happy and actively participating in academics, it might be worth avoiding the honors overload. We'll see.
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No spring break?! Poor thing ... she probably could really use one, too.
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ITA. Unfortunately, it seems that some of DD's teachers haven't yet come to that conclusion!
DS has now stepped up his tennis activity to 4x a week! He loves it and I love it that he has found that outlet. As mentioned, he seems to be able to manage his hw and activities ... while complaining loudly.
DD is the one who has the most trouble. Since she gets home late and the days are still fairly short, it's dark when she gets home so weeknight fun is pretty limited. I make an effort to drag her outdoors for SOMETHING each weekend day -- tennis, a hike or walk, roller blading, etc. But that homework cloud is still hanging there, kwim? Any activity is a nice reprieve, but she still has to face it later on.
{{{sigh}}} Well ... we seem to be on the downhill slide now, as the school year is rapidly winding down ... and the AP exam is in just 2 months, so things will hopefully ease up for her once that's out of the way.
Thanks for your thoughts -- you always have such good ones!
I see you're still feeling pretty jovial today ... you ol' country bumpkin, you ... lolol.
We were never asked to pick a track out here. Kids are just placed according to those wonderful standardized tests they administer every year. So DS placement in the honors program this year had absolutely nothing to do with me. I know that the parents of 2-3 of his buddies pulled them out of the honors program at the semester. They felt it was just too much.
It's just hard, you know? DS gets excellent grades and manages to keep up so it's not that he's struggling with the material ... it's that he HATES it.
And no ... I don't see an MIT bound kid around here. He's already talking vocational school. He's big into the computer animation, graphics and web design stuff. Wants to design computer games, work for Pixar ... that sort of thing.
Now DD? She's extremely academically minded, has to work harder than DS but has grand plans for college. Isn't it interesting that once she actually gets to college, she'll probably have less work to do? I think it is.
Thanks for your thoughts, mjay ... and for the giggles.
Our honors program tends to have the kids doing the same curriculum, but with added projects. For instance, in DD's English class, they studied the same Shakespeare that everyone else did, but in addition they had an assignment to do a presentation for the class that highlighted some part of the culture of Shakespeare's day. DD and two of her friends made a meal for the class of typical foods of the day, and served it while wearing period dress that they borrowed from the drama department. They do get more work than the other kids, but it's more "enrichment" and more self-determined, rather than just more of the same stuff.
I feel bad for you kids, DD is pretty burned out on school right now too, but we not only have spring break next week, but they've only had two short days of school this week due to the nasty weather we've been having.
Rose
DS get a lot of those 'enrichment' types assignments and he actually likes those. He much prefers the social studies 'blocks' over the language arts blocks, which is just reading and writing. BUT ... then the honors kids get assigned all the 'extra' and busy work assignments too.
I'll just keep coaxing them both forward. Even DH was concerned about DD on Sunday night. He asked her if she felt she needed to stay home on Monday -- sort of a combined 'catch-up' and mental health day. If DH was suggesting that, we know things are bad. But DD, knowing that missing one day is like missing a week, went to school anyway.
Last night seemed blessedly easy for both of them. DD actually got to sit and watch the episode of 'Lost' that she had TiVo'd, shower, do her homework and was still ready for bed at 9:30. And go to bed she did!
I suspect the odds are not in favor of a 'no homework' spring break, though ... I guess I can hope for a lighter load anyway.
Sure hoping your weather improves soon!