could someone give me their opinion

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
could someone give me their opinion
3
Fri, 03-31-2006 - 8:58am
this is my first time here. I have a 15 year olds stepson, who has in the past had some occasional trouble with telling the truth and stealing. well lately it has gotten alot worse, and yesterday his mom called here and told us she found a BB gun at her house and ask if we bought if for him we said no. Well our son (11) said his was missing. So my husband went over and talked to him about it. my husband said he would not say a word to him. So his mom grounded him and they both decided his cell phone should be taken away for 3 weeks. I think he needs some help but my husband thinks he is just being "bad"
I am thinking he might need to talk to a counclor. When do you know when something is enough of a problem to get help. And where can we get some help for him (i guess call his doctor for a referral?) I am really worried about where he is headed. Thanks in advance
Vanessa
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-02-2003
Fri, 03-31-2006 - 11:32am

its hard to say if your step son needs additional help, or if he is just a 'normal' teen acting out. but i usually think that parents/step parents should follow their gut instincts. its hard sometimes for men (no offence guys) to admit that they need 'professional' help.


you could start with his doctor, and you also might talk to his teachers - they may have some insights.


your step son is lucky to have you in his life!

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-20-2005
Fri, 03-31-2006 - 11:13pm

I am sending you some cyber-hugs. I know how difficult it is to love a child but not be in a position to really "do" anything. It does sound like something has caused him to get worse, however, you are right sometimes that can just be normal teen stuff. I probably would talk to his teachers and see if they've noticed any unusual behavior from him. They are with him a good part of the day. They are with teens enough to recognize normal teen stuff so they may be a good resource to help you work this out. In the meantime, I would just try to spend a little extra time with him doing something he enjoys doing. Whenever, DD gets moody I try to force a little car time on her - she opens up more in the car than anywhere else. She also opens up when we are working on something together. So when she needs to be grounded, I often opt for chores that we can do together. She will talk to me more if she's busy. The more she talks, the better feel I can get for her overall state.

Good Luck!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 04-04-2006 - 1:49pm
thanks ladies for responding. He has been trying to get his mom to let him come live with us. My husband and i have talked about it and think maybe he is acting out at his home so his mom will let him come live with us. My husband decided to call the school counclor and see what he thinks. I do love him and want the best for him just like i do for our other 2 children. He is still pretty mad cause we took his cell phone away but he is coming over this weekend so we can show him even tho he did wrong we still love him an want to spend time with him. Our daughter who is a year younger than him is itching to talk to him (they are pretty close and he will really talk to her if something is bothering him) so we are hoping we can get some things out in the open. Thanks for your advice i appreciate it! I will let u know what happens
Vanessa