crazy, dd whats to do cyber school!!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-08-2005
crazy, dd whats to do cyber school!!!
27
Mon, 08-28-2006 - 11:00pm
I am going crazy. school starts in 2 days and dd has been seriously stressing us and herself out and wants to go to cyber school. she is 15, going into the 10th grade and says she wants this badly. i know my daughter is a social butterfly and she needs to be w/her friends in school. it's crazy. she is insisting and is extremely upset. i know one of her major problems is her weight. she is 5'1" and weights 130 lbs. i told her she looks fine and she should not let this affect her. she is a 36 C so she is well proportioned. her thighs are a little thick but it's really not an issue but it is w/her. i can understand it but i need her in school w/other kids and in a structured inviornment. another problem she has and has had every year for the first day of school is her last name. she hates it. and says kids chuckel when her last name is read in the class room. this too shall pass. kids are older now and the teachers may not know how to pronounce it so she can correct them and give the pronuciation she wants. it's making me sick to my stomach. she is very insistant on this. she say she is tired of the drama in school, drugs and sex and alcohol. (she may be throwing this in the try and make a difference) say we are luckey she doesn't do any of that and we should be greatful and let her try this and be happy. anyone out there w/some good advice? sick over it.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-08-2005
Tue, 08-29-2006 - 6:58pm
ok, I got into her my space and nothing...nothing even about her not wanting to go to school. i don't understand. well, she is very unhappy. she plopped herself down on her bed and fell asleep but i will have to wake her so she won't be up all night. i think she is preparing in the back of her mind cuz i noticed she painted her toes and her fingernails and was looking for all of her make up. but she still won't budge. i suggested pvt school /catholic school and she state she does not want to go to a different school she just wants to try cyber school and if she doesn't do well in it then she will change. we told her no way, she starts school tomorrow and after she maintains an a average and is stable then we can talk about something else later if she wants. i am just in pins and needles here. gee, wonder if she'll pose for the first day of school pic w/her bro :* (
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-06-2006
Tue, 08-29-2006 - 7:49pm

<>

I hope that's your biggest worry tomorrow, LOL. Let us know how it goes!

 

 

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-08-2005
Tue, 08-29-2006 - 8:39pm
yea, i wish. thanx. i even tried to have ds age 17 speak to her and offer her a ride. for some reason she doesn't want to talk to anyone but us about it, she's even made that her brother knows about it. i woke her so she would sleep tonight and asked her to get her school clothes ready for the morning. she still says she is not going. i just told her she is and that's it. she said i only looked at the negative parts of it not the positive. well, there should be no negative parts of education. so i have a strong feeling i will be going into work late and coming home early so that i can be here when she leaves and home to greet her with open loving Mrs. Cleaver arms. oh if it was ever so easy. hummmmmmmm
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-08-2005
Tue, 08-29-2006 - 11:55pm
WELL< i am not going to relax too much. omg i have such a migraine. finally after about 2 hrs, i sat in there and spoke w/her..she did not really want her dad to hear. i asked her to truthfully tell me exactly why she did not want to go..she kept up w/wanting to try something new. blah blah blah...so finally she was balling and said that I knew the main reason...and i said your last name? she said yes. arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr...she said she'd be ok once she hit collage. well, that is three yrs from now. i told her that it's something she will have to breath through the first day and after that, it's fine. i told her to sit right in front of the teacher's desk of every class cuz they make u say your name and go down the line..so i told her to get right in class and sit up front...80 % of the kids won't hear what she says..i told her to take a deep breath look right into the teacher's eyes say your name , don't look around, don't listen...then exhale and they will have then gone on to the next person in line. well it took alot on still convincing after that. hopefully kids will be matured more than last year. she reminded me last year she went home early cuz she was upset over it. some kids laughed. for the past three years we have been pronouncing our last name differently, and it's only a handful of old friends that know the other pronunciation. i told her that her friends are not going to tease and if anyone else does, well, they are not worth her worry. so it's was 10:30 p.m. and she was crying that she did not have note books, pencils or make up so we went to wal-mart and got her settled...i'll let u all know how it works ...thanx for all the input. you've been great. God Bless
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-08-2005
Wed, 08-30-2006 - 8:07am
Well, i don't want to jinx myself but it's 8:10 a.m. and dd has not called from the nurse's yet. homeroom started at 7:25 a.m. I stayed up to be sure my ds's clothes were dry so it was 1:00 a.m and i stuck my head in her room and she was still up. but seemed ok. ths got up this morning was very quiet but mad at her brother cuz she wanted to leave. i made sure i got right in the shower and dressed so i could take her if i had to . they posed for pics. she did not smile but only for a sec. for the pic. :) the my son left grumbling cuz he did not want to leave that early. she said she'd ride the bus home so hope all goes well. thanx again. peace for now.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-09-2005
Wed, 08-30-2006 - 9:14am
Thanks for the update. I was wondering about you this a.m. If you can let us know how her day went.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2005
Wed, 08-30-2006 - 9:44am

At 16 years old 5'1" and 130, your dd's BMI is within the healthy weight range for both her age and her height. If she is having body image issues, then perhaps you need to get her into some counseling.

As for the cyberschooling issue. You may want to point out all the things she will miss out on if she's not in a B&M school. Dances, socials, clubs, activities, committees, sporting events, etc..

stacy

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-08-2005
Wed, 08-30-2006 - 10:20am
as i mentioned in my previous post. i think she will be ok, it was her name thing that she did not want to say infront of kids cuz last year , she had kids tease her i think ..but i think it's ok now. she says according to the charts she should weight 115lbs. ? we have a treadmill and i think we will use it together for a little self confidence booster. also, i went over all the things she will miss and she insists it would be no big deal, she will still go to all the dances , clubs, football games, etc.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-29-2004
Wed, 08-30-2006 - 1:15pm

Suggestion..
Could you not make an appointment with the school and ask the Principal to make sure the teachers pronounce your last name properly? It's a simple request and one I would think that any reasonable educator would realise how important it is for a young person.
I know it is too late for the first day but it could help in the days to come.

How about signing your DD up at the YWCA/YMCA or similar low-cost fitness program she could do on her own? Although 130 lbs and 5ft 1 doesn't sound too heavy, she might feel better about herself if you did. My DS does 3times a week, early in the morning. They setup a program,just for him. It has done wonders for his self-estime.

You know, people don't always understand how difficult it can be for "well-endowed" young woman. It is difficult to find clothes that look good (especially if you are not tall).
Your friends get to wear all those "cute liitle outfits" that look terible on you.
You tend to look more "busty" and there is also the "unappropriate" remarks and attention you get. Put on top of that problems with her last name, it must be rough.

Give your DD a hug. Tell her,for me, it does get better

PS

Cyber school will not be a good idea of she wants to take science courses. You need the lab time.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-06-2006
Wed, 08-30-2006 - 2:00pm

Your poor DD! No wanted she didn't want your DH to listen in on your conversation! I imagine she felt guilty and horrible about being upset about your family name.

By this time in her school career, most everyone will know what her name is so maybe it won't get as much this year. I do like the suggestion of calling the school ahead of time to alert them of the pronunciation, or of the fact your DD feels self-conscious about it and has been teased in the past.

Anyway, I'd continue to blow off the cyber-school for a few more weeks. If she still is insistent, you'd have time to discuss it rationally and make a decision. I'll bet though, that she'll get involved and settled and things will be just fine!