crazy, dd whats to do cyber school!!!

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Registered: 08-08-2005
crazy, dd whats to do cyber school!!!
27
Mon, 08-28-2006 - 11:00pm
I am going crazy. school starts in 2 days and dd has been seriously stressing us and herself out and wants to go to cyber school. she is 15, going into the 10th grade and says she wants this badly. i know my daughter is a social butterfly and she needs to be w/her friends in school. it's crazy. she is insisting and is extremely upset. i know one of her major problems is her weight. she is 5'1" and weights 130 lbs. i told her she looks fine and she should not let this affect her. she is a 36 C so she is well proportioned. her thighs are a little thick but it's really not an issue but it is w/her. i can understand it but i need her in school w/other kids and in a structured inviornment. another problem she has and has had every year for the first day of school is her last name. she hates it. and says kids chuckel when her last name is read in the class room. this too shall pass. kids are older now and the teachers may not know how to pronounce it so she can correct them and give the pronuciation she wants. it's making me sick to my stomach. she is very insistant on this. she say she is tired of the drama in school, drugs and sex and alcohol. (she may be throwing this in the try and make a difference) say we are luckey she doesn't do any of that and we should be greatful and let her try this and be happy. anyone out there w/some good advice? sick over it.

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Avatar for suzyk2118
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-30-1997
Wed, 08-30-2006 - 4:53pm
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-17-2005
Wed, 08-30-2006 - 5:12pm

Just wanted to add my 2 cents. How sad that we live in a world where your dd has to think of herself as chubby because she weighs 130 lbs. at 5'1". Those charts, IMO, are only a guideline. Everyone is different based on muscle mass, and weight. As OP said, her BMI is normal for her height and weight. If anything exercise might increase her confidence and it's so good for you in so many ways I would encourage it, but make sure that she knows she is not fat. I can relate to having a large bra size - I always have too, and its unfortunate when you are not the kind of girl who likes that kind of attention!

As for cyber school, you did the right thing. I made a snap decision when dd14 was in 7th grade, pulled her out and homeschooled her for the year. It was a bad idea, and I told her when I put her in 8th grade last year in the p.s. that if she didn't like it, we would exhaust all options before considering homeschooling again. The idea of researching and acquiring curriculum, absolutely on target. I have many friends who homeschool for various reasons (here in California), and I was all "gung ho" about it. Well, needless to say homeschooling is not for everyone, and I would have to say most particularly for teenage girls and their mothers!

Glad everything worked out. I certainly know what it is to have that "sick" feeling in the pit of your stomache.

Marie

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-04-2003
Wed, 08-30-2006 - 6:00pm

This sounds so very stressful! If it were me, I'd feel both sorry for my DD but also a little aggravated.

I'm going to be bold and share what some family friends did - they actually changed their DD's last name. She and her mom both changed their last name to a hyphenated name with the mom's last name first so the dad's last name (reason for the teasing) sort of dropped off the forms, etc. and she went by her mom's last name. A big step and sort of giving in to the mind set of juveniles but for this family they just decided it was worth it.

Maybe all is fine, now, I hope, and you don't have to consider other options.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-08-2005
Wed, 08-30-2006 - 10:26pm
it's all good. i am not going to tell myself i over reacted because i truly don't think i did. i think we were in a very crutial situation with dd and age 15 is so hard on young girls. the thought came to mind to change her last name to mine but hey, they would just find something else to tease about. and pronouncing my husband's name the old way sounded nothing like it was spelled. so ... guess what...she said she had no trouble, the teachers called out the names, the student's did not say them and they said her name the way it looks and the way we have been saying it for 2 1/2 years. :) she was happy but i think she is holding back the jumping jacks. i don't think she wants us to know that we were right. but that's ok. she seems very happy today . as a matter of fact she called me after school and asked if i can take her for a hair cut . i rushed home we jumped in the car and incorporated dh cuz i still had the migrane and was sick to my stomach so i did not want to drive...haircut place was closed so she then asked if she could get a pedecure and tips on...so away we went to the mall and we sat side by side and we both got pedecures and had our nails done. :) I feel like a ton has been lifted of my shoulders. only problem now is that ds starts school later cuz he's a senior and doesn't need to be ther til 9:30 a.m. and so i guess i will drop her off ..i will just have to leave early for work. i'll never be late for work that way so things work out for the better. I really appreciate all of the suggestions, cyber hugs(did i say cyber arrrrhhh) and prayers. Thank u so much and i am glad to know u guys are here . i am sure i will be posting again, hopefully not too soon. but i will be learking in the mean time and putting my 2 cents in here and there. Peace to all. :* ) happy tears.
Avatar for kel7col4
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 08-31-2006 - 1:42pm
I just have to say wow, to that bmi calculator - dd is 5'2" and it says her healthy weight is between 87 and 129 pounds....dd was 100 pounds for the longest time and looked Ethiopian! She was put on the pill and gained 9 lbs and looks so much better, but I'm trying to picture her at 87 pounds!!! ickkkkkk and she is really small framed/boned.....



iVillage Member
Registered: 08-17-2005
Thu, 08-31-2006 - 2:08pm

That's why I think those charts are wrong. Note the huge spread in weight....? If you are carrying more muscle mass you will be heavier but look better.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-06-2006
Thu, 08-31-2006 - 2:53pm

Yikes! I hope my DD never gets hold of one of those charts! At her physical this summer, she had gained 10 lbs since the last check-up, and had only grown about 3/4". That means her jeans have gotten very, very tight since last fall and she will have to size up.

She had a bit of a freak-out, but thankfully, nothing serious. She has been 'blessed' with my genes, unfortunately and she already has my shape, just a much smaller version of it! A baby pear ...

 

 

 

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