Cutting

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-14-2006
Cutting
25
Wed, 11-15-2006 - 2:36pm

I already blame myself for all of this, I feel I have been a horrible person.

I went home at lunch and checked my dd myspace, did not find anything bad there. I went into her room and found her diary, and yes, I snooped. There was not much new in there, but what was has really got me upset.

She had told me that her best friend had to start going to counseling because of cutting. She talked to me about it. I kind of wondered if my dd had tried it, but did not push the issue because I thought if she was willing to talk about her friend and tell me that, then I thought she wouldn't be doing it. You all know from my other posts that it has been a rocky week. Well, she just started back writing in this diary this month. There was one entry about her cutting herself. How do I approach this without her knowing I read her diary? She told me last night, she was sick of lying and hiding things from us. I suspect she did this just recently because her friend was doing it, but I am not sure. Should I just ask her if there is anything else she would like to tell me and see what she says? Then ask her maybe if she had done any cutting since her friend did it? I want to check her, I want to know how bad it is. One entry in there said her bf saw it and she thinks he was mad. I am going to try to get her to come completely clean with it all.

Any suggestions? I am so very worried and totally blame myself. It said in the diary how she hates us. This is tearing me up inside. I have been under so much stress this year, that is a whole other story, that I have not noticed so much of the trouble with my dd. I am so worried.

Pages

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-16-1999
In reply to: boondocks68
Thu, 11-16-2006 - 6:12pm

Is everyone here PMSing at once or what??

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-05-2006
In reply to: boondocks68
Thu, 11-16-2006 - 7:09pm
You are not a horrible person I am sure. My daughter also wrote in her diary that she hated me. This was two years ago. Things are better now. We always blame ourselves as parents. I feel that as long as we are doing the best that we can with our children and seeking to make things better by educating ourselves on parenthood then we shoudn't be so hard on ourselves.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-14-2006
In reply to: boondocks68
Thu, 11-16-2006 - 7:31pm

Thanks for your vote of confidence! I feel much better today. When I picked my dd up from school today, she talked my ear off! Things are better right now.

I had a call from the 4-H lady today looking for volunteers to ring the salvation army bell in front of the grocery store for 2 hours the week after Thanksgiving. I talked to a woman I work with and her son is a year younger than my dd and we signed them up to do it together. I am going to look for more things like this for her to do.

I hope it is getting better and not just an act. She has admitted things I didn't think she would, like the cutting the time she did it and why. I am hoping she really and truly wants to try and make mends. Of course, I am trying too, it goes both ways, I know. But she does have to earn back our trust.

Thanks again.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-05-2006
In reply to: boondocks68
Thu, 11-16-2006 - 7:56pm
You can call the kids help line and they may be able to guide you somewhere. Also, if you honestly tell your mother that you would like to seek councelling because you are not happy and need to talk to a professional she may not have to know about the cutting. I am not sure about the laws but, maybe someone can help me here, does the councellor have an obligation to tell the parents of the child they are treating that the child is cutting themselves?
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-14-2006
In reply to: boondocks68
Thu, 11-16-2006 - 11:20pm
That is what I was thinking, she should be able to get some help somewhere without her parents knowing, if that is what she wants. I really hope this girl gets help.

Pages