Cutting

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-04-2007
Cutting
12
Mon, 06-04-2007 - 10:54pm

I recently learned that my daughter (age 15.5) has been cutting herself when she gets upset. I have not seen the cuts, but a concerned friend of hers approached me. Her friend said DD has a very substantial number of scars covering large areas of her body.

She is currently spending the night with another friend. I am going to confront her in the morning. Does anyone have experience with this? Does anyone have any advice?

I would greatly like to know how to confront her and how to help her.

My biggest problem right now is that I have no idea how to even begin talking about this problem. I just feel so sad. I would go get DD now, but I need to calm down first.

Pages

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-10-2007
In reply to: mommaonechild
Sun, 06-10-2007 - 3:58pm
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-10-2007
In reply to: mommaonechild
Sun, 06-10-2007 - 6:56pm

If you find out your son or daughter is engaging in self-injurious behavior (SIB) such as cutting, here are steps to take in order to receive proper assistance.

DOs

#1 Do reassure your child they are loved.
#2 Do be accepting and open minded.
#3 Do maintain your child’s personal space and privacy.
#4 Do encourage getting help. Make them a part of the process.
#5 Do see your family doctor and get a therapist referral.
#6 Do ensure the therapist understands self-injury.
#7 Do ensure your child likes their therapist.
#8 Do understand it may take several therapists to find a right match.
#9 Do consider getting help for yourself if you have trouble.
#10 Do be patient.

DO NOTs

#1 Do not freak out.
#2 Do not focus on the self-injury, it is not the problem.
#3 Do not make demands or ultimatums that they stop self-injuring.
#4 Do not force your child into therapy.
#5 Do not assume your child is mentally ill.

WHAT YOU SHOULD KNOW:

Self-injury (SI) is a coping resource. People self-harm in order to escape from a distressing state of mind. By itself, SI is not a mental illness or a diagnosis of anything. Causes of self-injurious behavior are very complex. It often associated with some form of physical, emotional or sexual abuse during childhood. Frequently people who self-injure are unable to express either anger or sadness in appropriate ways. Self-injury can be addictive. Most self-harm is done in private. It is not a way to seek attention. SI is not a symptom of someone who is suicidal.

Pages