Daddioe - how did the winter formal go?

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-14-2000
Daddioe - how did the winter formal go?
5
Tue, 01-17-2006 - 9:17am

Did you let her do anything after the dance?

Pam
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-13-2004
Tue, 01-17-2006 - 12:44pm

Hi Pam..

The Dance went very well.
Several of the parents were invited to one of the girl's house to take pictures of them in their pretty dresses. Weenie boy was the only guy amoungst 12 girls. Apparently all of the other boys were meeting the girls at the dance. That gave me a chance to have a talk with him. Actually, it was more of an interrogation..but hey..I was smiling the entire time, so we'll call it a conversation. I spoke in very generic terms..of what makes me disappointed and what makes me glad. The poor boy looked like he just got out of the swimming pool. I'm late so I'll add more later..

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-13-2004
Tue, 01-17-2006 - 3:39pm

Anyway...
The "after dance" activity was a party at yet another unsupervised boy's house which started at midnight and ended at some unknown time. DD knew better than to even ask about going there. She was fine with me picking her up at the dance when it ended.

She has now announced that she is the ONLY person at the high school that doesn't smoke weed, and in frustration said she would like to do it just once to get it over with.

This brought on a long discussion about why such importance is attached with this activity, and I suggested she re-read her fringe friends blogs about how utterly hopeless and depressed they seem, when nothing seems to matter except getting high and their world comes crashing to a halt when mommy flushes their stash down the toilet.

It also gave me a chance to again explain (hopefully not pontificate) about how our "normal" is based on our surroundings. If she truly feels she is the ONLY one not doing drugs, it is apparent she needs to change her surroundings. This was a nice back door opportunity. God forbid Daddio suggests that she find new friends... :-)

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Wed, 01-18-2006 - 7:51am

Sounds like the evening was pretty successful -

I had to LOL about the "only kid not smoking" comment. My poor DD is saddled with two parents who never did drugs, ever. UGH what an awful burden - no sympathy from either of us on drugs or drinking to excess. She actually moaned to me last week "I can see *I'm* going to have exciting teen years" I like your approach that the blogs of kids who are smoking are so depressed etc - It's not easy to encourage our DD's to always choose friends who are good for them. I've talked to DD over the years, not just now in HS, about friends who are "toxic". They aren't fun to be around, and they don't bring out the best in you. I've had a few of those, and can share experiences, and then she has shared that some of her friends fall in this category too.

Sue

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-06-2005
Wed, 01-18-2006 - 2:54pm
daddioe, could you post a link to the blogs? this may be helpful to us, as ss has been experimenting with weed, and although he doesn't like being caught, (caught 4 times now) at 13 i would love to find some way to DETER the bahavior with pre information rather than more punishment the next time he gets caught. TIA k-
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-13-2004
Thu, 01-19-2006 - 9:22am

Kay, as much as I'd like to, the blogs I refer to are personal livejournal accounts that probably wouldn't be appropriate for me to provide links. I can cut and paste a few recent entries however. The most recent are on top.

This kid makes me so sad. Blames everything ranging from ADD, seasonal affective disorder, depression, you name it. Gee.. ya think it may be the drugs?
You can also tell the entries when she's high.

Kay, I honestly don't know if this will help. Your up against your son's using friends who are probably telling him how harmless it is. I don't want to start another board weed debate, however my observations tell me this is almost exclusively detrimental to young developing minds and bodies. You may want to ask him to do a little self experiment; something that you don't need to discuss or argue about. Ask him to keep track of his peers who regularly use. Think about, are they happy? Are they successful in school? Are they interested in the things they used to be interested in? Ask him to ask himself these questions. He doesn't have to share the answers with you. He'll just get defensive. Regular users insist this drug doesn't change behavior. The entries from this girl below tend to disagree with that. I've known this girl a long time. She is completely different from 3 years ago. Is this normal teen angst or the drugs? you decide...

06:23 pm - yanked at my tooth ache and dangled my stash
okay yeah.. Parents have been on my ass about school.
I'm going back on ADD meds
I just renewed my permit
caribou called about a job
P**** is getting me a piece
tomorrow well be fun
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10:43 pm
alright well I'm in one of those moods, So i guess I'll update all you guys on my life. My folks have been jerks lately, there really not making anything easy. My mom flushed my weed a couple nights ago. I was about to kill both of my parents.. at that time i thought it was my dad who did it. but yeah..I bought more today so f**k them. My mom thinks I'm not taking care of myself and that i dont give a sh*t about anything anymore.. and I have no idea why she thinks that.. Like yeah, my grades arn't that good but my grades have never been good. and Like Pottery is depressing enough how it is. I hate how depressed I get during this time of the year, It get's so much worse second semester too. Not looking forward to it. but anyways, I've been hanging with K**** and P**** pretty much everyday and I'm pretty sure i love those two. I swinged on the tireswing a couple hours ago <3 it was amazingily fun. I wish it was summer or anything besides winter. I wanna dance in the rain so badly.. and i want to go swinging at the park and i want to hang out with friends doing nothing everyday..
alright well thats enough for now.
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07:40 pm - Happy Holidays
Happy errr Holidays.

I wanna be bigger then jesus bigger then wrestling bigger then the beatles and bigger Then Breast implants.. i'm gonna be the biggest thing to hit these lil kids.. Bigger then guns and bigger then CIGERATTES.. lol.

I think K***, P****, J**** and A**** are some of the coolest kids I know.

I'm Gonna burn my buds some cd's just cause I feel like it. and there gonna like my choice of music!
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04:01 pm
err.. So I'm confussed.

was the last couple years just a big experiment. ehh. I'll get better. 12 step plan.. haha.. I aight doing that. but im gonna take lil steps..

All i need is some good relationships.. B***s changed my view on a lot of stuff.

I love my friends. my real friends. the ones that i can actually talk to. the ones that arn't just hanging around for the drugs.