Daddioe - my own WB

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-16-1999
Daddioe - my own WB
9
Tue, 10-03-2006 - 8:29am

Thought I'd start a new thread with this one and maybe the other one will eventually go away. ;)


N has been keeping company with T for almost 3 weeks now, though they've only been "official" since Sunday I guess.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-14-2000
Tue, 10-03-2006 - 8:59am
Ahh - the things that pop out of the mouths of 14-15yo boys!
Pam
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-22-2003
Tue, 10-03-2006 - 9:32am

I think we all really need to remember that our kids are just that "kids". We can't expect them to behave like adults nor should we. Yes, we should teach them responsibility and so forth, but really, they need to make mistakes and learn from them. I think as parents, we sometimes forget how we behaved when we were 15 and what came out of the mouths of the boys that we liked.

I used to judge every boy that both my girls would befriend as though they were husband material and then I realized, this is ridiculous. Mainly because 15 is a long way from a becoming married and there might be a lot of boys who will come and go befor they're ready to marry and secondly, one cannot possibly judge a boy so young. Just my opinion. It saves a lot of useless conflicts and heartbreaks. :>)

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-20-2005
Tue, 10-03-2006 - 10:47am

Rose,

It's wonderful to hear from you. Is the b/f's not wanting her to be out alone at night b/c of concern for her safety or is it controlling? I got the impression that it was him trying to be a gentleman but just wanted to double check. It's also good that he has parents' that check up on him but I kind of wonder if they check up on him b/c they are worriers or b/c he's given them reasons to need to check up. These are the kinds of things that make a true WB!!

Until recently, I haven't had much dealings with teen boys since I only have teen girls. In working with the youth, I've kind of taken on a few boys and they are becoming relaxed enough around me to let those things slip. But I still haven't heard all about the ducks . . . . That one is apparently quite embarrassing and once they realized I could hear, they shut up real quick (LOL). I guess it's nice to know they respect me enough to shut up occassionally!!

Lia

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Registered: 03-06-2006
Tue, 10-03-2006 - 11:46am

I'm actually kind of impressed that this kid even speaks in your presence, let alone directly to you! My own DS typically doesn't speak to any adult that doesn't speak to him first, and even then usually only mumbles a one-word response.

I specifically asked him about this last weekend when he spent the afternoon and evening with his best buddy (whom he's know since 1st grade and has spent plenty of time with him and his family over the years, so I'm pretty confident he's comfortable around them) and was kind of surprised when he told me he didn't really talk to them much. A little disappointed, too.

 

 

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-16-1999
Tue, 10-03-2006 - 1:44pm

T walks N home at night and goes running with her coz "my mom would kick my to Siberia if she found out I let her walk home alone in the dark."

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-20-2005
Tue, 10-03-2006 - 2:26pm

<>

Teen males are most definitely something to figure out. The youth director at our church can't really seem to handle the teen guys. I think it's b/c he's too close in age to them. Anyway, he's pretty much asked me to handle the disciplinary and respect type things with the guys. Having only raised girls, it's been a very interesting last few months. On our summer mission trip, all the kids got to bickering quite a bit, a lot of name calling, etc. I had no problem handling the girls - just sit them down and talk to them. With the girls, the problem was primarily flirting with the boys. So a quick talk about how you've grown up with most of these guys and they are like your brothers so quit flirting with them. Also a quick reminder not to be so obvious about who you like.

With the boys, though, I couldn't even begin to figure out why they were being so competitive. I didn't think any of the guys were interested in these girls. So I decided to sit down with the guys and just ask them what's going on. Youth director swore to me that the guys wouldn't talk - guys just don't do that. They opened up real quick - they were responding to the girls flirting. The more the girls flirted, the more competitive the guys got. I have no idea how I would have figured that out if a few of the senior high boys hadn't told me. These guys were showing no interest at all in these girls. They seemed to be highly annoyed by the very presence of the girls. I just didn't see that the reason one beaned another in the head with the frisbee was to impress a girl that was 4 years younger than him. I just don't get how that works. But then I have a good excuse - I only raised girls!!

It's good that T's mom is trying to teach him to be respectful and courteous. I know you worked real hard on that with your sons and I'm sure it made the transition to military life somewhat easier than if you hadn't. It's also good b/c N will now have something to compare to. While manners isn't everything, respect is extremely important. It's important that she get used to being treated with that kind of respect. The things that come out of his mouth probably don't bug her b/c she's used to hearing it out the boys at school so it's not that strange to her. I'm sure if his mom is worried that he keep her safe when they are out, then his mom will attempt to teach him when to say what - I just wish her alot of luck with that.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-13-2004
Tue, 10-03-2006 - 2:37pm
Rose..
He doesn’t sound like a weenie boy at all. In fact, if things don’t work out for your DD, send him over our direction. His trying so hard to impress your DH is kind of sweet. I’m really curious; can you give an example of his inappropriate utterances?
The phone calls from his mom are also a good sign.
He sounds like a typical 15 yr old trying to figure out pretty much....everything.
DD also says I “freak out” most of her male friends. What?
I’m nice. I’m pleasant. I make small conversation. I asked one guy how he liked school. He gave some nondescript answer that I don’t recall. Later DD said I “interrogated” him. ROFL…
I’ll have to think about that duct tape some more…
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-16-1999
Tue, 10-03-2006 - 6:07pm

The best "inappropriate" remark is probably inappropriate just coz N's daddy was standing there.... N was going to change her jeans coz she didn't like the way they fit... no comment about why they didn't fit right.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-18-2005
Tue, 10-03-2006 - 7:20pm

This sounds so sweet to me!

I remember last year, DD had a few guy friends over, and my DH and I were stunned that they were just like the teenage boys we remember from when we were there (DECADES ago, lol). I don't know what we expected....but what we saw were regular, goofy, shy-around-parents 14 year old boys. And none of them were "boyfriends" lol

Sounds like a nice romance for N!

BTW, my DD has a friend (boy) with whom the inside joke is they're married. He's NOT her bf, but they get a cookie at the store once a week at lunchtime. When he came over, and I said I don't like boys in the house when you're alone, she said "Mom, it's just M. He's perfectly safe". Poor M! Not even a threat to mothers!!

Sue