Thank you all so much for your feedback on my last post.
When my step-kids were teens I asked my DH to make the rule that his kids could not have any friends over unless he was there to supervise. It worked great. No stress for me, no putting up with teen visitors who overstayed their welcome. (BTW, my DH was the custodial parent with the kids visiting mom every other weekend...although most weekends ended by Saturday evening).
I would have texted him back saying "No way. You and your kid will talk. I'm staying out of it."
And because I "stayed out of it", all angry glares and misery were reserved for the parent. Even though my step-kids were no angels and things could get fairly ugly between DH and his kids, towards me it was polite and pleasant conversation. Like I was an aunt or good friend of the family who lived with them. I was the good guy (even if I was DH's eyes and ears).
That's funny. That's right up there with holding his breath, LOL. I GUARANTEE that he won't starve himself to death over this or any other issue. Feel free to completely ignore any future hunger strikes.
Why feel terrible? He's hardly the only kid on the planet who has only one bio-parent in their life (my DS is in the same boat). Nobody has a perfect life. We all just have to get over our "hardships" and get on with living our lives. Pity and guilt will do nothing positive for him.
Man, are you in a tough spot.
That's a great idea. As much as I don't think that guilt or pity will help the kid, counseling likely will help him a lot in dealing with any feelings of abandonment (by his mother).
Both of my sons have been right where your DSS is right now. I am not a SM, but I am remarried and my dh is the SD. When both of my boys turned 15, they became rebellious and argued about everything! Since my dh is the SD, he